Irresponsible dad? - skiing related

[shirkingworking]

Right, a real first world problem (or maybe not) but DH has just taken DS (just 8) down a red ski run on his third day of skiing ever. DS is confident and up for it and DH says they took a wrong turn but he has a history of pushing things and, for example, wants to buy DS a penknife (to which I've said not yet - no way). Am I being an overprotective mum or is he stupid to take a little boy who can just about snow plough down a red run? I was fuming until I heard it was an accident but my question 'Did you take DS down a red run?' when he got back to the room 5 mins after DS, was met with anger and shouting that of course he hadn't meant to and what was wrong with me. The shouting was in front of the children. The tone of my question was probably not jolly and light but I definitely kept a lid on it and asked it as a straight forward question.

Perhaps this should be in AIBU. I probably am...

We've never been skiing before as a family. Used to go as a couple pre-kids and he's been with 'the boys' fairly often for long weekends since we've had children. (I'm a fairly good 'intermediate' skier but prefer to stick to blues and reds - maybe my caution is over-caution.)

[lanbro]

If you can turn, snow plough and stop confidentially then a red run isn't too bad, I think learning to ski as a child is the best time as they have bags of confidence! It's happened now so not much point continuing to be annoyed

[PotteringAlong]

As long as he was wearing his helmet I think you're being over cautious here.

[superwormissuperstrong]

If you have been a skier for a few years then you should realise that the grading of runs needs to be taken with a pinch of salt and taking into account conditions and how busy it is with people. It just means that it has a steeper angle in some places on the run. A red run is not automatically more dangerous than the blue route down from a lift (say there are 2 routes down) because the blue one can be more busy, full of beginners falling over, full of moguls, and at this time of year may even have worse snow quality. Val D'Isere used to be quite notorious - the blue back to resort was awful and I was taken on the much easier black which was steep but groomed and much more quiet for a nervous beginner (not sure if its the same - its been a while since I've been to that resort)
That said - I think the issue isn't that reds are more dangerous - I think its a DH and communication issue. Sounds like he's got defensive and making out it was a mistake because he knows that either he was wrong and shouldn't have used that route, or he's used to you having a go at him about how he looks after the kids. Either way I think this runs deeper than whether or not he took them on the run and its about different styles of parenting????
Either you trust him to look after the kids or you don't???

[shirkingworking]

Yes, I think that's right. And I agree about the horrible blue into val d'isere. And I know there are different 'Blues' and 'Reds' and it can be an aribitary grading. Thanks all

[drinkingtea]

I have no idea about the skiing - so I don't know why I read this :o

But why do you think the pen knife is an example of irresponsibility and pushing too far? DD and DS1 both got round ended pen knives when they were 6. Round ended but still proper sharp pen knives (they have a sharpener too). DS1, who is now 8, loves to whittle, its about the only thing he sits still for voluntarily for any length of time. They love to whittle us all camp fire cooking sticks on camping trips, as well as other odds and ends. Its not something any kid "needs" but its also perfectly age appropriate IMO - they are kept in the kitchen odds and ends drawer and they ask to take them out to use, and have to sit down, obviously...

[shirkingworking]

I think that about pen knives partly because my son is so clumsy and injured himself several times a day...

But I think I was over cautious about the red run! Thanks again for the sanity check!