Anti depressant go against you as a mother?(13 Posts)
I'm suffering from quite severe bouts of anxiety, not attacks but what I would describe as bouts of over thinking, waking in the night overthinking things and not being able to get back to sleep. All of this started about 6 months ago when my daughter was around 9 weeks. Some weeks are better than others, but things are always at the back of my mind. It's not pnd as I love my daughter more than anything and love being a mum, she's my world. My anxiety is being triggered by overpowering family and my husbands lack of empathy and support. Im sorry to be vague on the details. I hate that I feel this helpless in the situation I am in at the moment. I always think what about those who really have something to worry about but that doesn't help as my situation is just out of hand in my opinion and my relationship is on the rocks.
Last night I was awake from 2 until around 5:30 I think as the last time I checked the clock it was 5:10, just thinking getting more and more anxious and angry. I am shattered and today hasn't been any better. I am sorry to be vague.
My question is, if I seek a bit of medical assistance and request something to relax me, anything, will this go against me as a mother. If God forbid anything came up where my medical records were used against me would I be classed as unfit to be a mum?
Nope. In fact, seeking help and engaging with professionals is always seen as a very good thing!
Get help. You deserve to feel better than this x
I had pnd with my DD, but I didn't see it at first because I had that instant rush of love, I was completely besotted by her and loved being a mum. Just because you have those feelings doesn't mean you can't be suffering with pnd. Not that I'm saying you are; just don't rule it out
No it won't. Not at all.
I saw my GP about stress and anxiety following the birth of DC3 and she was wonderfully supportive when I started crying in her office. I've been on Sertraline for a couple of months now and it's made such a difference. I didn't realise how much of my thoughts and feelings were being affected until they weren't anymore.
There is absolutely no shame in asking for help.
Absolutely not. It would count in your favour that you sought help when you needed it.
Thanks everyone. I guess who's made me ask is I know a couple who are adopting and their medical records are being checked, the bloke used to be on anti depressants so he's worried. That's nothing like my situation, but if adoption agencies can mark that against you then I did wonder.
Also get it on your medical record that there is family pressure and a lack of empathy and support from your husband. Could be helpful down the line.
No it definitely won't go against you in any way. You are being proactive and not letting things escalate. I hope you feel much better soon. Anxiety is draining and awful.
Re: your friend who wants to adopt - I know people who have been through very difficult times and been on antidepressants and have been able to adopt later on down the line. Everyone goes through hard times. It's how you manage it and what you would do if the situation arose again.
God no please go and speak to your GP. I was exactly the same as you I hardly slept I felt overwhelmed by everything I worried constantly. It felt like a fog in my head and there were days when I didn't want to leave the house. Mine probably was depression too but I never ever had depressive thoughts towards my baby which I found strange he was actually the light of my life the only thing that made me smile and if it could've just been Me and him in the world I'd of been really happy with that despite having a loving dh and 2 older dc.
My GP was fantastic she prescribed me citalopram 10mg at 1st but had to go up to 40mg. She referred me for counselling (which I was dead against at 1st ) believe it or not there's so much help for new mum's out there. Many mum's keep it all bottled and feel a bit of a failure (at least I did anyway ) but it's actually more common than you think. Google mindfulness it gives you coping strategies when things are getting tough.
Please don't suffer go to your GP I promise they can help
Thanks for your support. I have an appointment on Thursday, I'm feeling positive about it. I just want to stop worrying. Are these types of medication addictive though?
It's tricky cos for me it Just made me feel normal (eventually) and I thought I'm ok now I don't need these anymore however after nearly a week of not taking them I realised I definitely do. Cold turkey is Defo not the answer but I do want to look into reducing my dosage soon however if it turns out I need to keep taking it long term then so be it,my mental wellbeing is so important when there's a family to look after
I've been suffering from PND since my baby was a few weeks old, due to trouble breastfeeding, and was always completely against anti-depressants. I struggled through, developed anxiety on top of it, my relationship started falling apart because I was a mess, I was too scared to go to mother and baby groups etc. It was just a big nightmare by the end. I never wanted to hurt my baby, I love her more than anything and our bond is amazing, but PND doesn't necessarily relate to the bond between you and your little one.
One day, when she was about 3 months, I woke up and wanted to hurt myself, so I immediately called the doctor, they saw me that day and luckily I met with an extremely sympathetic doctor who reassured me that anti-depressants are not something to be ashamed of taking. Granted, they don't FIX the problem, but they have helped balance out my emotions so I can approach every day with a clearer, more rational mind - it made sorting out any problems alot easier.
My point is, I had the same aversion as you to medical help, but as soon as I let go I realised I was only making my life harder by avoiding that option. You'll find that the majority of people can be very sympathetic about needing help, as parenting IS difficult, especially in the first few months and especially with a first baby.
Everyone here is right, you need to be in a good, stable mindset and comfortable in your own life to be able to look after your family, and if medical help is what can make that happen, there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking it. There will always be people that judge you for it, but they have not lived in your mind and life, they do not know how you struggle. It usually will not get better on it's own, take the help and you will feel glad of it best of luck x
OP, I hope you got on OK. Feel free not to update of course. I've finally hit rock bottom with postnatal anxiety and just sheer exhaustion and have been watching this thread to see responses. DP is on ADs already and I have been terrified of seeking help for months in case someone thinks we aren't fit parents. We love DS to bits! But there is so much to contend with and I've been feeding DS multiple times a night for months and just become an anxious, tired wreck. I hope you feel happier and more in control now.
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