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Almost 2 year old demanding spoon feeding...

(16 Posts)
Moulesvinrouge1 Tue 05-Apr-16 04:10:27

I'm feeling really down about this as it seems to be such a setback for him. My DS has a number of issues with food namely several allergies plus several food groups he hates. After a few months of illness where we were supporting him in getting food in any way we could he will now only feed himself if it is his absolute favourite and will demand spoon feeding for any other meals after the first few bites once he's not starving any more. I really want to crack this and go back to how it was! Does anyone have any experience / advice? Thanks in advance. smile

Ditsy4 Tue 05-Apr-16 04:33:19

Make small finger foods for him. Cubed bits of carrot etc tiny sandwiches, chat to him as it might be the attention he likes not the feeding as such. Not saying you do this but I have noticed mums on their phones instead of interacting with their children at the table. Make sure you are sitting down with him.
Once he is feeding himself you can add in spoon feeding.

SerenityReynolds Tue 05-Apr-16 05:28:58

Tbh, I would just go with it for a little while if it means getting some food into him and not turning mealtimes into a battle. As Ditsy suggested, make some finger food available too, but the spoon feeding is likely just a phase and soon his independent toddler side will be demanding to do it all himself again! Have there been any other big changes recently, like a new sibling or starting/changing childcare? It might be he's just testing bonds again or feeling a bit clingy after his illness.

ODog Tue 05-Apr-16 07:41:03

My almost 2yo, BLW baby who has never had food issues has started doing this too. I think he's just a bit lazy and wants to be done quickly so he can get back playing. I do a lot of 'you can do it', 'show me how you do it' with lots of praise and encouragement. If that's not working then I say I'll help him but not do it and hold the fork or spoon with him to scoop up the food or pre-load the spoon but he has to pick it up. I'm sure it's a phase that will pass.

bebo100 Tue 05-Apr-16 07:54:07

I think it's just a phase they go through, my almost 3 year old does this from time to time.
I often 'fly' a few mouthfuls in if it's dinner time and I want him to have a decent meal before bed.
But if it's breakfast or lunchtime (or any pudding) I tell him I'm busy and just get on with tidying kitchen or feeding the baby, who does actually need help spoon feeding.

boopdoop Tue 05-Apr-16 09:48:51

I have this a bit with my just turned 2 DS. We try both have a spoon/fork with the same food and all putting it in our moths at the same time.... Often if we do that a couple of times he then carries on eating. My DM started doing this thing of doing a big "wow" for each spoonful before he put it in his mouth, but that did end up with everyone st the table havoc to say wow before he'd eat - fine if just us but got ridiculous over Christmas with various grandparents and aunties and uncles there!!!

CotswoldStrife Tue 05-Apr-16 09:56:01

Agree that sitting down and eating with him would help - can you eat something similar to what he likes? Has he seen a baby being spoon-fed recently, because I think it can be quite common to want the same?

corythatwas Tue 05-Apr-16 11:12:37

I wouldn't worry too much about this. I would sit down and eat with him because that is a nice thing to do, but I would try to avoid thinking too much of his daily life as a series of milestones which he has to reach and must never deviate from.

splendide Tue 05-Apr-16 12:23:37

Oh mine has started doing this! I've never spoon fed him before but at 18 months he sometimes hands me the spoon and then puts his arms as far back as they'll go (to really emphasise his point). I usually load the spoon for him then put his spoon in his bowl to encourage him. Or I say "oh no! broken hands!" which he thinks is quite funny. If he really insists I just spoon feed him.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne Tue 05-Apr-16 13:30:13

Do you all eat together? I used to childmind a little girl who was spoon fed at home (she was 13 months when she started with me). I gave her a spoon and plastic fork like the other 2 small toddlers when we ate our lunch together, and she fed herself - messily of course but ate well. It was only after several months of minding her that her mum had a half day and picked her up early, and was surprised to see her feeding herself and told me she had never done that at home and she, the mum, had been wondering why I got food on her sleeves and trousers so often grin

Might not be the answer of course - I also have one very fussy kid of my own as well as one who eats anything and loves to try new foods, so I know its not a matter of "doing it right" and magically having a child who has no food issues. Sometimes a bit of benign neglect / pretending to ignore the issue helps the child get over the phase when it is nothing fundamental though.

I would also let him use his fingers if he wants - one meal can be mainly finger food without any problems.

MaisieDotes Tue 05-Apr-16 13:36:14

that did end up with everyone st the table havoc to say wow before he'd eat

grin

Everyone in our house has to clap and say "YAY!!!!" every time DS1 (19mo) builds a tower of blocks.

It gets a bit embarrassing when we have people over and he's on tower no. 897 of the afternoon.

Also he refuses to feed himself with a spoon. Just finger foods atm. I need to address this but I haven't had a chance due to the recent arrival of DS2.

mudandmayhem01 Tue 05-Apr-16 13:44:09

My DD was stressed about school this morning, I tied her shoe laces, plaited her hair and came very close to spooning a bit of cereal into her mouth. She occasionally sleeps in my bed when the world is a bit much for her. Most of the time she is very mature and independent, actually more so than most 12 year olds, a bit of babying every now and then does no harm.

Booboostwo Tue 05-Apr-16 14:01:18

My DD had odd eating habits, from weaning she would only eat if spoon fed, wouldn't pick up food herself, hated mess and wanted her mouth wiped immediately. She was such a careful eater we never used bibs. She was definitely spoon fed at 2yo even though she could do it herself at nursery and continued to ask for it until past 3yo. She's 5yo now and has no problem feeding herself. Before you assume that I was babying her, DS is completely different, BLW all the way, he'll grab what he wants and refuses to eat if you try to feed him from about 16mo - he has to do it himself.

I'd go with the flow and do what gets him eating.

Moulesvinrouge1 Tue 05-Apr-16 20:00:25

Thanks so much for your comments everyone. I generally sit with him and we eat together but I think he gets bored. I'm concerned as I've got another baby due very soon so am wondering how he will actually manage to eat when I've got my hands a bit fuller! Thanks all you've reassured me.

PeppasNanna Tue 05-Apr-16 20:05:35

In all honesty, I really can't see the problem.

I have 6 dc & every single one of them did this as a toddler.
Its just toddler behaviour. It will pass.
Good luck with the new baby

skankingpiglet Tue 05-Apr-16 22:42:18

I wonder if it's a bit of a novelty thing too. My DD is 22mo and was blw. She is very competent with a spoon and fork, and we have begun to introduce a knife. I have never spoon fed her, and neither has her child-minder. She's generally a very independent soul, but the last month or so she has insisted on being spoon fed at some meals/for part of her meals. It's really weird, but I'm just putting it down to a phase. I'm hoping she grows out of it soon as I want to be able to eat my own meal! Hot meals and eating together was what drew me to blw! and being too lazy to purée her food

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