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DS2 "owes" his friend £20

(5 Posts)
OpenMe Thu 31-Mar-16 17:03:40

DS2 (12yo) has bought a toy gun from his friend for an agreed price of £20. I have no idea what it would have cost new but would have thought it expensive at £20.

Ds2 didn't have any money on him at the time so it was agreed that he can owe his friend. He now wants to go to the bank to withdraw the last of his birthday money and pay his debt.

We have a had a full and frank discussion about wasting money and about the perils of lending/borrowing to/from friends but I don't know what to do about the actual debt.

Part of me thinks Ds made the deal and he should pay, but I also think it was wrong of the friend to enter into the arrangement. Do I talk to the other parent, who probably knows nothing about it?

What would you do in my position? What would you expect me to do if you were the other parent?

Spandexpants007 Thu 31-Mar-16 17:06:38

Can't you google the gun and cost? Help him learn how to work out if it's a fair price. If it's not, he might choose to return the gun? Up to him. He's old enough to work this through with help

LittleNelle Thu 31-Mar-16 17:11:14

Unless your DS is vulnerable in some way or the friend is a lot older, I don't see why it was wrong of the friend to enter into the arrangement? Your DS has taken the gun and agreed to pay for it, so it only seems fair that he does.

Berthatydfil Thu 31-Mar-16 17:14:12

First is it a fair price for the gun - how much is it new, how old is it and what sort of condition is it in. This should help you work out if £20 is s fair price.
Secondly does your ds really want this gun is it a particular one that's hard to find in the shops etc?
Is it possible he's been taken advantage of by his friend who has taken advantage of your son wanting the gun and him getting instant gratification.
It could be that he is getting a good deal but you really need all the info.
If it's a good bargain then it's his money so let him have it.
If he really really wants it but is paying over the odds for something that he can easily get new then he has 2 choices.
Suck it up let him pay for it and chalk it up as a life lesson.
Give it back to the friend and potentially sour the friendship.

HandsomeGroomGiveHerRoom Thu 31-Mar-16 17:52:05

Suck it up let him pay for it and chalk it up as a life lesson.

This, I'm afraid.

Ds (now 15) has been bitten more than once by ordering crap from eBay and Amazon (he's had a debit card for a few years). Only once have I stepped in, and that was when he'd managed to sign himself up for Amazon Prime hmm Otherwise it's buyer beware unfortunately. At least it's only pocket money that he's wasted, and not the rent - it's a life lesson.

More to the point, he's made an agreement here with a friend - he owes them the money! If (and only if) we're talking £20 for something worth 50p, your ds is particularly vulnerable and/or the seller is a pisstaking, 15yo rip off merchant, you should back off.

Having said that, my ds knows that I have strong feelings about guns and teenage boys (sexist as that sounds). There's a time and a place (in his case, Army Cadets), otherwise I generally won't have them in the house. Ds knows this, and knows he's have forfeited the £20, because I'd have confiscated the thing. If he wanted the money back, he'd have to negotiate with the seller.

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