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How do parents with more than 2 DC's do it?!

(24 Posts)
StillCantDecideOnaUsername Mon 28-Mar-16 18:34:28

I have a 2 yr old dd and a 4 mo ds and I feel as though my life is in a constant state of chaos. From 7am until 7pm it's non stop and that's with dd at the childminders three mornings a week, me being on mat leave and having a very hands on, supportive DH! I simply cannot imagine how much harder it would be to throw even more DC into the mix. How do you do it?! (Definitely not planning on any more, just curious and wondering if anyone has any tips on how to make life less stressful!)

iamtotallyserious Mon 28-Mar-16 18:39:03

The early days are very hard...! But it does get better as the baby gets into a routine and is able to be put down a bit more. When I had number 2 I used a sling A LOT. It was also much easier once the baby could be put down and settle himself to sleep. I found 4-7pm the most intense... Cooking tea, getting 2 yr old to eat it, baby attached to boob, bath, getting them to bed... If it helps I found going from 2-3 children easier than 1-2. Good luck!

Thenightswatch Mon 28-Mar-16 18:41:36

I have 3 under 3, a 2.5 yo, a 15 month old, and a 3 week old. I have no idea how I do it, my dh works long hours 6 days a week, it is utter chaos but I just somehow manage. Some days are really hard and just when I start to loose my patience one of my older two do something to make me laugh and I feel better again. It's mayhem, a mountain of nappies, someone is always demanding my attention, my hair hasn't been washed in 4 days, I have spew on most of my clothes, and I live on cold coffee! But it's the best days of my life right now, I wouldn't change it smile

Thenightswatch Mon 28-Mar-16 18:42:19

And I second a sling, my close caboo is a life saver!

ButtfaceMiscreant Mon 28-Mar-16 18:42:34

I feel your pain! I think I am just about coming out of the fog of the early days with a just 2yr old and DTs who are 5months. I am still smiling but some days it is stapled on... grin

allthingsred Mon 28-Mar-16 18:42:55

We make it up as we go along!!!
I try to plan but also be super flexible cause Those plans can & usually do change.
Try to use your time well. ..getting clean clothes , packed lunches laid out the night before.
Online grocery shopping, you can do it while kids are napping & get it delivered.
Let the little things go.... It doesn't matter if you haven't had time to clean the house. Prioritise the bigger stuff

AWhistlingWoman Mon 28-Mar-16 18:44:23

I no longer have my sanity. Also found going from 2 to 3 much easier than 1 to 2. Possibly helped by third DC being a particularly 'easy' baby and toddler. In fact she's so delightful I still think wistfully of the possibility of DC4!

scotsgirl64 Mon 28-Mar-16 18:44:50

Routines are important! I have 3 dcs( 2 dd and 1 ds) I used to bath them all between 6.30/7pm and read the 2 older ones a story , then breastfeed the youngest and all would be asleep by 8pm so I would have a few hours in evening to eat , have my own bath and get to sleep- luckily they all slept very well and slept through by 4-6 months( even with breastfeeding!).... You do need to be organised , but don't stress the small stuff- forget ironing!! And batch cook meals. Go to mother and toddler groups/ gym classes and get a good circle of friends - both for you and your children( my family lived miles away).enjoy your family - they're only little for such a short time!.... Mine are now 22, 19 and 16 and I do miss those crazy busy years( but I also have now have more time for myself and dh!!)

StillCantDecideOnaUsername Mon 28-Mar-16 18:49:40

Wow thenightswatch three under three sounds insane, I take my hat off to you! We are pretty good with routines, especially bedtimes, both fed, bathed and asleep by 7pm but by then I'm so tired I usually just have a quick tea then go to bed as the baby will be up again in a few hours! I go to a lot of baby and toddler groups and have a lovely circle of friends, most of whom are in the same boat. I guess some days things feel more overwhelming than others, but it's good to know I'm not the only one!

hownottofuckup Mon 28-Mar-16 18:51:16

I have 4.
I don't sweat the small stuff and make the most of any opportunity to find them amusing.
You just get used to it.
I think I have a sort of routine too, although it's not rigid.

Danglyweed Mon 28-Mar-16 19:05:02

7 year old, 5 year old, 17 month dt's... I must admit I find it relatively easy, having a routine helps I guess. But it certainly helps that the older two are at school and not nipping my head all day everyday... cant bloody wait for the holidays grin

MrsCampbellBlack Mon 28-Mar-16 19:07:33

You are in the really hard part.

I have 3 and it is fine. In fact it is great. However I can't remember the first year of my youngest's life as was so sleep deprived wink

IlPorcupinoNilSodomyEst Mon 28-Mar-16 19:10:15

My mum always said you never noticed the extras after three! (I'm one of seven).

ayesar Tue 29-Mar-16 20:34:51

I only have 2, and they are 3 and almost 5 now. The reason it's so hard for you now is because both your kids are so young. I remember during those days I was losing my mind and literally felt like I had lost all control. I vowed I would never in s million have any more kids. I couldn't imagine why people have more kids. LOL

As my youngest turned 1.5 things started getting easier, as my older one was also 3.5 then. I did start thinking about adding another to the family. My husband is against it though so I don't think it will ever happen. But the point is just know this is temporary and things will get easier as they get older. Before you know it you will have more time to yourself and much smoother days. For now, just let little things go for your own sanity and be efficient at doing the chores you need to get done.

Allnamesaretakenffs Thu 31-Mar-16 12:36:39

I have three under three too. My husband also works abroad, so it's just me and the kids, and the oldest is seriously high needs which makes it crazy stressful sometimes. I just make it up as I go along, try to survive on5 - 6 hours broken sleep, and thank god the youngest two are so easy to deal with!

Newtobecomingamum Fri 01-Apr-16 20:57:16

Respect to all of those parents with more than two children! I only ever wanted two children and there is no way I could handle any more. Also, single parents... My gosh how do you do it?!

I look at other parents with more than two and wonder how they do it? It makes me question my parenting abilities as I find it bloody tough and some days in tears (or though I know I do my best and love mine to bits). I have a 3m old and 3 year old. So pleased to hear it gets easier!!

Deathclawswouldrunfrommykids Fri 01-Apr-16 21:08:19

I never had 1, so I avoided the shock that hits you going from 1 to 2. One of the benefits of having twins I think!

My girls were 3.4 when DS was born and it took us all a few months to adjust to his presence, using the sling was a massive help as it allowed me to keep him close and happy while also responding to DD's.

He's 10 months now and honestly the house is often disorganised and I spend my life doing washing but I love having 3. If I had my way I'd have 6, but apparently DP isn't prepared to embrace that kind of chaos!

DangerMouth Fri 01-Apr-16 21:13:39

new me too blush l don't think l make it look hard but some days I'm almost going insane with the monotony of it all. Dd1 is 5 and talks non stop. I actually can't keep up with her nattering and things like "mummy, what am l thinking?". Give us a clue l say, nope. I mean how the actual fuck could l have any idea of what is going through her head?! And the six month old has gone from being absolutely fine with being left anywhere to crying hysterically if I'm not within her eyesight turn your fecking head and l'm right here!

i absolutely know l wouldn't cope and don't want any more however l can't shake the odd thought of dc3 popping into my mind shock

Newtobecomingamum Fri 01-Apr-16 22:02:17

Haha danger your post made me laugh!

My 3 yr old son is going through a willy phase at the moment. Will not leave it alone! I'm trying to breastfeed the baby, whilst he's pulling his pants down waving his willy out the window standing on top of our sofa! Won't stop pulling his pants down and then shouting at people not to look at his willy (put it a bloody way then!!!). Baby is crying all the time because the poor thing can't get any sleep in our mad house or when we go out because of the noise and chaos from the toddler! My toddler then thinks it's a screaming content who can scream the loudest so starts screaming EVERY time she cries or screams. I feel like a crazy woman and either burst out laughing because it's all so crazy or start crying because I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong?!

I am extremely lucky to have a really helpful and supportive husband who helps wherever he can, plus have someone clean once a week and do the ironing (can't really afford it but put this above other things like meals out etc) and I STILL find most days so so hard. Probably doesn't help baby has colic so husband and I sit on the dark all evening rocking baby in pushchair to white noise a it's the only thing that helps. There is no break or let up. A bath is a friggin luxury. Love my children to absolute bits but gosh having children is hard work!!!

Has anyone watched the clip Michael McIntyre - People without children don't know.

It's a winner to put a smile on your face!!

When I really feel crap and all of my friends without children are out on the town and get annoyed when I try to explain why I can't come and they think I'm making excuses.... I watch that clip and think one day my friends you will understand lol!! grin

HelenaJustina Fri 01-Apr-16 22:08:44

I had 3 under 4 and then 4 under 6.

I survived/survive now with military precision. My babies were bfed and allowed to go with the flow but everyone else is at the right place at the right time with the right kit.

We have always tidied up at the end of the day so that it is never unmanageable as for me I find clutter extremely stressful. I meal plan, get bags/lunches ready the night before. Always do at least one load of laundry a day and one other large household task. Eg beds one day, kitchen the next, bathrooms the next.

Honestly the jump from 1-2 is the biggest and after 3 you don't really notice...

HelenaJustina Fri 01-Apr-16 22:12:08

That sounds smug reading it back! I don't float through life finding it all a doddle, but being organised helps. And changing your mind set...

Set smaller goals, get them outside every day, love them and the rest will take care of itself

Batladyandrose Sat 02-Apr-16 09:18:42

We have 4, I found it really hard when DC2 came along, I really struggled with a toddler and a newborn. In some ways as the others came along it was easier because the older ones had some company and we'd done everything 2 or 3 times before so a lot of things that we'd worried about the first time around were second nature now.

Some days I don't do it at all though! There is chaos and mess and all I have achieved that day is to keep everyone alive and fed. DH works long hours, he is amazing when he is here though. I also have some brilliant friends who have come in and helped, they all know where the tea/coffee, nappies, rubbish bin are kept and are quite happy to come in and make use of them!

Afreshstartplease Sat 02-Apr-16 09:24:21

Everyone fed, no one dead smile

I have three, and am expecting number four in October

Some days are easy. Some are awful.

Eldest two are 6 & 8 and generally good at entertaining themselves/each other/ the little one . They can also be bribed to do jobs around the house

My routine is fairly lax. My housekeeping is less than desirable. Pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff

Ginormarse Sat 02-Apr-16 09:44:40

I have 3 and its hard work! They are 8, 4 and 3 and I find it harder now than when they were younger.
My 3 year old is very wilful and going through the tantrums and refusal to do anything you want him to stage. The fighting and bickering between all 3 can be horrendous. Being trapped in a car with the 3 of them in the back is akin to being tortured. I refuse to drive when they are bickering so I often pull over at the side of the road and wait until the bickering stops before I will drive off again. If it makes us late for one of their activities then then tough! We have set strict rules and now have a zone board which seems to be working.
The washing machine is on at least twice a day and I love my tumble dryer. I work 2 long days per week and dh often works away from home so I often don't sit down or eat in the evenings until after 9pm.
It's all worth it when they play together nicely. This morning they have all dressed up and are dancing to Olly Murs, it lasted about 20mins and now they are fighting again!

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