How on earth can we aid development of common sense in 'bright' child?(52 Posts)
We are frustrated!
Our daughter is only in year 2 so maybe it's too early to be so frustrated?
She's very bright, our girl. Reads to year 5 level at least (she's allowed to borrow books from their class shelves), is an excellent story-teller and writer, a top speller, picks up maths quickly and easily. She can tell me about how our bodies work in some good detail thanks to her eagerness to read through body books.
Common sense though? Argh it's awful! Is this a normal 7 year old thing? I'd hoped it would show by now.
I'll try to think of some examples.
Putting a cup of water down by her elbow during a meal, instead of further back.
I ask her to get pjs on. She looks on her bed, can't see any so doesn't get them on. She won't think to get some from her pyjama drawer, the position of which hasn't been altered in over 4 years.
She will STILL tear around the kitchen when the oven is on despite my years of explaining dangers with examples.
I asked her to grab a cloth to help me clean with a few days ago. She couldn't see any but instead of asking, she proceeded to use a t.shirt that she loves.
She's approaching 8 and I'm still waiting for it to kick in! Is that just all normal and should I just be patient?
She's still young. With the PJs I would have told her to go the drawer and get them.
Tearing around the kitchen. Well tell her to run somewhere else?
I think you're being a bit harsh on her!
Sounds fairly standard and something discipline tactics might help with.
Those don't sound like "common sense" things, more not doing what she doesn't fancy doing or stopping doing things she's told to stop.
Very typical of a 7 yr old. Nothing to do with her academic progress.
You can't have everything! She's a bit of a brainbox - be happy about that. Nothing you have described sounds remotely abnormal for a rising 8 year old.
By the way - the bright ones tend to slow down after a bit and the others all catch up - so don't expect a genius!
Ask her to talk you through the process of whatever it is you want to tackle. Let her develop her own common sense from her understanding of logic: cause, effect, consequence.
Watching this thread with interest... I could have wrote exactly the same words about DS when it was that age.
He is a teen now, his scientific stance on things still takes the best of him. In our last holiday, miles away from the nearest pharmacy, he decided to put the canister of an air freshener inside his asthma inhaler to see if it would work on it... It did.
Another time, after playing with a video game which involved someone rigging a lock, he tried to replicate the adventure in our front door, which left us climbing in and out of a window to get in and out of the house. To his credit, he was able to fix the lock a day later when it became clear he was the one who would be paying the locksmith.
He can take a bus, cook a meal, prepare his own bag and not forget his homework at home (after all these years). He has some emotional wisdom that is remarkable for someone his age, but he is still unable to find his pyjama even if it is in the middle of an empty room.
Aw come on...I'm not harsh on her whatsoever. I'm expressing this here but she hasn't a clue. How is that harsh? I'm asking a parenting question, in a parenting section on a primarily parent-based forum.
Fab! She's my eldest so I don't know what's a standard thing at whatever age and what isn't.
She is lovely, she's my brilliant, funny, caring, happy, energetic and loving girl.
No idea, let me in on it when you know though. Ds2 is 13 and commen sense is still slightly lacking, although he is much better now. incredibly bright boy, well above average in absolutely everything on g&t register but the other day asked me why his shirt still wasn't dry, because that's not the bloody dryer it's the washing machine. It's not like it's the first time he's been told either
Meansmyson wow! Sounds like you have a lot of fun!
I think you have to talk through the process. Get her to engage her brain and use her memory, she obviously can! So, firstly you say something like on Monday you go swimming so you need...? After that's embedded you can move on to something like, on Mondays, what do you do and what do you need? Then it becomes automatic.
This has worked on my nearly 8yo, whose also academic.
Your expectations are a bit unrealistic with the drink thing. Tbh, a child who's always 'on task' and aware of the consequences of their actions and never drops something/spills something/makes a mess would be unusual and probably a bit disconcerting.
Otoh I will not tolerate the DC near the oven at all and mine would not come near at 4 & 6 so maybe you need to be really firm and consistent on that.
I think you're thinking of her as a lot older than she is but she's v young still - give her some leeway and don't wish it away.
Start asking her questions to help her find her own answers.
When she can't see pjs on her bed, ask her what she thinks she could do instead?
When she puts a glass by her elbow, ask her what she thinks could happen with her drink so close to her arm.
Don't jump in too quick with solutions.
But she's perfectly normal so please don't worry. This will all come in time.
My DS is 7 and is the same-academically proficient, even gifted, still batshit crazy at home! As it should be.
Agree that this is just being 7yo and has nothing to do with being bright.
Ds was the same (and still is) but has always struggled at school; dd was identified as gifted and has always had far more sense.
The harshness isn't in the sense of you're being harsh towards her but your expectations are so high!
Other posters put it better than me. Basically give her the logic so she can work it out. She might need to see to believe iyswim. Hot ovens - mine help me under close supervision with cooking so know. Both have asked me many times what happens when hot things touch your skin but doesn't teach them as well as seeing me use the oven and them helping me cook.
Same with all the rest.
You remind me of my dh a bit - he has ridiculously high expectations and gets frustrated with the DCs for making mistakes. But they're just kids. His dad WA the same - and the impact has been that dh and his siblings are now incredibly "just so" about some things. But a bit too much at times! Makes it hard to relax.
Let her spill her drink and dance around the kitchen. Laugh about the t-shirt. Lighten up.
I could write this about my ds who's almost 9. It's as if you can see the cogs turning in his head when I ask him anything yet academically he's over achieving.
I have a 6yr old though who is also very clever (on the gifted program for Maths ) but his common sense and understanding is fantastic he will often answer for his brother. I find it easier to have a conversation with ds2 than ds1 as all I get from ds1 is a confused look and " I don't know what you mean?" This could be after a simple question like what had he done at school that day or what was for lunch.
I had his hearing checked as I thought maybe he couldn't hear what we are saying but no his hearing is perfect he's just on another planet most of the time!!! I'll be honest it's really starting to infuriate me 😠
Parissont I don't stress. A drink spills and I say 'oh dear never mind, spills happen'. That's a misunderstood reaction to my question.
Sometimes it's necessary to have a bit of common sense. Crossing roads, for example. Or actually not walking in to every other person shopping in a supermarket.
Believeitornot she has cooked with me for years and I let her put things into a hot oven with supervision from age 5 - much to my own mothers shock. To help her be aware of things and learn.
I'm going to delete this I'm hugely misunderstood.
If it helps - my toddler will stop and see if people are around before shooting across an aisle to me. My eldest will not. Just that really but my god I never, NEVER tell her off for it. Never complain. Never put her down.
We have adopted a more gentle parenting style so I'm all for 'letting kids be kids'.
It's a frustration inside me and me only. But as she grows, unless it comes a little bit, she will be frustrated and annoyed at herself.
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