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When is the best time to have a third?

(7 Posts)
ayesar Sat 26-Mar-16 14:33:46

I have a son who is 4.5 and a son who is almost 3. I have been thinking of having a third for the last year and even got pregnant a few months ago but miscarried. Since the miscarriage my husband has decided that he's happy with 2 and doesn't want any more kids. He wants to wait a year and then get a vasectomy. I, on the other hand, still feel conflicted. Sometimes I feel like I want another and it would be great, but then when I think of the work required and the chaos that would be at home, along with the drain on finances and inability to travel as much, I have major doubts.

Everyone I have talked to say that 2 kids is more than enough and there is just no need to have more than that. I think right now my kids require a lot of care, but do you all think that when they are lets say 5 and 7 it would be easier to have a third? Am I kidding myself for thinking that? Some parents tell me that it gets harder when kids get older because of homework and activities.

Do you all think that there is any point in having more than 2 kids? And if so, what's the easiest age gap? I'm 34 so I can afford to wait if it is ideal.

bittapitta Sat 26-Mar-16 14:37:09

This is all moot as you say in your first few lines that your DH is happy with 2 and doesn't want a third child. Unless you are thinking of leaving him?

ayesar Sat 26-Mar-16 15:06:23

I know, I think I'm delusional and under the

ayesar Sat 26-Mar-16 15:07:45

Hope that he will change his mind after some time.

ayesar Sat 26-Mar-16 18:20:27

I'm not leaving my husband and I respect his wishes, but I can't shake this feeling of wanting another child.

I am just wondering for those who have 3 kids what age gap worked for you and the rest of the questions I have in my original question. In my opinion you never know if someone changes their mind. I absolutely didn't want more kids after my second was born but I changed my mind when he was about 1.5. It's possible that my husband may also change his, esp when the kids are older and more independent? Again, I may just be delusional in thinking all this.

ayesar Sun 27-Mar-16 20:20:20


WordGetsAround Sun 27-Mar-16 20:32:42

Hi, I've got 2 DC aged 5 and 3. Just got bfp on Friday for DC3.
I had assumed I'd like 3/4 DC close together, but when it came to it I didn't want to take the head down, get it over with approach. Instead, I wanted to have a lovely couple of years with them before going back to baby stage. However, I didn't want the gap to be too big - so 6 and 4 (what they'll be when DC3 rocks up) seems like the perfect compromise to me.

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