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Not losing it with my 3 year old

(8 Posts)
Equimum Thu 24-Mar-16 10:45:29

DS1 is 3. He has always been strong willed etc, but I've just hit a point where I am struggling to deal with him patiently. He is perfectly capable of dressing himself, putting his shoes on, using the toilet etc, but if he doesn't want to, he won't. At the moment, he'll try to put his shoe on backwards, stick his foot over the tongue, put his shoe in his head etc, all to avoid putting the shoe on. Similar things hapen with getting dressed. If we don't intervene, he'll happily do this for an hour or so. When we prompt him, he'll point out 'it's okay, because I am trying'. Similarly, if we end up dressing him, he'll say 'never mind'.

He's also become lazy with going to the toilet. He's been absolutely fine, but some days we will prompt and prompt and he'll insist he doesn't need to go (even though he obviously does). When the jnevitable happens, he'll just say 'never mind', wander off and get spare clothes. On these occasions, he'll happily put his dry clothes on and point out that the other can be washed.

I am desperately trying not to make any of these things into a power battle, although I am ocassiibally reduced to shouting (which I know doesn't help). The thing is, though, all the positive acceptance (e.g. Saying it didn't matter if had an accident during potty training) seems to be thrown back at us when he is blatantly being lazy/ naughty.

The same is occurring at nursery.

Does anyone have any thoughts on how we should approach this. Should we just ignore the behaviour, give him X amount of time to get ready and then take over, or should we be pushing him more and introducing (appropriate cost quenches)?

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 24-Mar-16 10:49:15

How old is ds2?

Equimum Thu 24-Mar-16 15:05:42

He's 3. Sorry for all the typos in the OP - I was bouncing a baby at the time.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 24-Mar-16 15:46:03

Not DS1, DS2.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 24-Mar-16 15:49:39

My point being that DS1 is probably adjusting to the presence of DS2 in HIS domain. They act out in all kinds of different ways.

Just give him as much attention as you possibly can, babies can be the one to be a bit sidelined as long as their needs are met. It's all to easy to focus on the baby and not the toddler.

'Big up' being the Big Boy and reward Big Boy behaviour, indulge any non harmful baby behaviour and try to ignore the other attention seeking stuff.

It will get easier.

Equimum Thu 24-Mar-16 16:40:05

Sorry Extrahot, I didn't mean to not read your previous message properly. DS2 is six months, so you are probably right. Thanks for your advice....I will try to make sure I give DS1 as much attention as I can.

ExtraHotLatteToGo Thu 24-Mar-16 16:53:02

It can be a very trying time, but it helps if you can see it from their perspective. This new little person is encroaching on their time, attention & space, is gettng more demanding not less, and isn't a fun brother to play with, not at all how they thought this would be sad it must be confusing.

We wouldn't react well to our DH's bringing home a younger, cuter, demanding new wife 😁

Hang in there ☕️🍫💐

ziggazigga Thu 24-Mar-16 17:08:33

I agree with extrahot. My DD1 used to wet herself on purpose when DD2 was the centre of attention. Just to get everyone's attention on her, even though it was negative attention. They were about the same ages as yours. Once we stopped giving DD1 the attention for wetting herself it stopped.

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