How to deal With some snotty women in the park

[2012PP]

I have a 3.9 yr old.

At the moment he thinks that saying poo-poo, bum and poo-face type things is extremely funny.

I tell him that it's not... Explain that it's not polite & that others don't like it and at times I ignore it.

Some of the adults we come into regular contact with do pretty much the same.

I've had three incidents recently where an unknown adult has reprimanded him for saying these silly things to their kids..

I am totally at a loss to know the best way to manage this!

I know I probably just need to get a grip, ignore etc... But today I came away from the park feeling very frustrated and cross and down about the whole thing.

He's not being aggressive or horrible. He's a 3.9 year old child playing.

I could really do with some sensible, practical suggestions - please?

[Wolfiefan]

Surely they say something so their own kids don't start saying similar?

[busyboysmum]

Well he shouldn't be saying it so don't see the problem really. I'd just smile and apologise if it were mine. Not a massive deal tbh.

[MajesticWhine]

I think I would say no DS we don't talk like that in public and then immediately change the subject. Make the minimum of fuss otherwise it makes it more of a big deal than necessary. It's normal for kids to find this kind of thing funny so I'm surprised to hear of other adults reprimanding him. They need to get a life.

[2012PP]

How do you actually stop them from saying it? It's not like I haven't tried!
I asked if anyone had any sensible practical help

[Smartiepants79]

How repetitive is he being. He'd have to be saying it an awful lot for me to bother reprimanding a child I didn't know. If my child repeated it I might speak to them but otherwise I'd ignore.
It depends a bit on how hard you want to come down on him. If you really feel it's important then I would calmly but firmly say 'it's not nice' etc.. Then I'd warn him that if it continued we'd be leaving the park ( maybe just for a few minutes to make a point) . Then follow through if necessary.

[Buzzardbird]

Oh come on! All kids go through this stage. If anyone looks down their nose just call them a 'wee wee, poo poo head'. Was DD's favourite back then, never done it since.

[2012PP]

Thanks majestic, this is what I've been doing. I'll keep on with the message that it's not acceptable.

It was a big deal to me today hence why I felt the need to post here asking for some help

[RidersOnTheStorm]

He shouldn't be saying those things and I guess the parents of the other DCs don't want their DCs repeating them. They may feel that if they say nothing their DCs will think it's ok.

I agree that you should say he'll go home if he isn't sensible and follow through. Neither of my DCs said that sort of thing in my hearing - where did he learn it?

[Buzzardbird]

Sorry, you want sensible advice? You just do what you do when they accidentally pick up on a swear word, you say "that doesn't make any sense, what do you mean to say?"

If they think their words are nonsense they don't tend to stick with them.

[PunkrockerGirl]

I tell him that it's not
Well perhaps try a little harder. He's nearly 4 - old enough to know that this is not acceptable.
If there's been 3 incidents where it's become a problem in public then it needs dealing with. By you.

[2012PP]

Smarties ants. The 1st time it happened he'd been only been with the child about 5 mins before I heard the mum and went over to see what was going on.

He doesn't say it "all the time" and I did t think it was a big deal until today when 2 or parents said something to him... Again we'd only been in the park about 10 mins.. He'd called someone a poopoo head!

[kidscomefirstendof]

Other people are entitled to tell your child his language isn't acceptable as long as they aren't unpleasant or aggressive in their demeanour.

[2012PP]

Yes buzz bird.

I am on my own and got upset . I've had helpful advice from Mumsnet before so thought I might get it again.

Thanks punk rocker... Ill try harder!

[G1raffe]

If he's calling other children names that's going to be a problem. I can imagine a mumsnet post "was I being unreasonable to tell a child to stop calling my child names when the mother hadn't removed them/stopped him" etc.

[Floggingmolly]

If he repeatedly goes up to children he's never met before to call them poo poo head; you need to help him work in his social skills a bit...
I know kids can be silly, but really; other parents have taken him to task 3 times because of the way he's interacted with their kids?
Start removing him from the park if he can't play nicely, that's not on.

[2012PP]

Kidscomefirst . I think people should say things to children if it's not acceptable, I was surprised about it and am asking for advice on how to deal with my son saying these things and the parents who feel the need to involve themselves.

[Buzzardbird]

OP. You really are being too hard on yourself. All children do this pre-school, I don't care what anyone says. DD went to extrememly expensive posh pre-school and she still did it. It wasn't fun after no-one took any notice and I told her she wasn't making any sense. Children this age love to think they are being understood and soon drop something that think is 'babytalk' or nonsense.

Be a bit easier on yourself. Don't get upset, you are doing a great job.

[2012PP]

Flogg. Thank you. I'd not thought of it as name calling....so I can work on that with him and explain. Thanks.

He's not just running to other kids shouting you're a poo face, it's been 3 separate people over the space of this week.

His picked it up at nursery

[Floggingmolly]

Well, tbh, I'd feel the need to involve myself if a random child started yelling poo poo head and bum face at my kids!
Why don't you involve yourself before they have to? Remove him from the situation every time he does it and he'll soon realise it's not particularly funny any more.

[BertrandRussell]

Is it being "snotty" to tell another child not to call your child names?

[2012PP]

THANK YOU buzzbird.
I had a rubbish day today and the lady in the park made it worse... She didn't know I was in a state but nether the less, her attitude didn't help... Thanks again and I'll go back to my old self tomorrow.
Thank you.

[Buzzardbird]

Wow, pretty sure that OP didn't just stand there and allow her son call other children names.

[Ameliablue]

I think it is fairly common in boys that age but I don't think it is unreasonable for another parent to say someone along the lines of "that's not a nice thing to say". If the other parents are being harsher than that, they are perhaps being unreasonable.
As for what you can do about it, probably carry on as you are and it will probably pass but a few negative comments from strangers might actually help.

[hazeyjane]

I think all you can do is tell him he shouldn't call people rude names, and he will have to go home if he does it again. (And keep to this)

To be honest if a child came over and called my child a rude name, then I would say to them, 'that isn't nice', so I don't think you can get upset about patents having a word.