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Advice on supporting 5 yr old through potential separation

(1 Post)
RedCardinal Wed 16-Mar-16 20:54:31

My husband and I have a five year old DD. Her behaviour with each of us is different, she behaves and will do as he says most of the time as he is the more authorative parent and I struggle to get her to listen to me especially at bedtime and when I spend time alone with DD. Generally she is a great child is funny and bright and rarely naughty.
However recently when with DD out and about I struggle with her, she might want something (a toy or sweets) and if I say no she will cry and moan about it, she has today said she will not listen to me and doesn't want bath time because I was refusing to give her my perfume. This sounds nuts as I write it but she is very stubborn and cannot comprehend why she has to do as her parents say and not able to do as she wishes - yes these are conversations I have with my 5 year old!
I feel that our heated discussions are happening almost daily where we both break our promises to each other about her listening to me and me not raising my voice then she crys and says she loves me. Now am I being played is this normal?

Now if I add that my husband has been depressed since January and our relationship has altered drastically as has the atmosphere in the house. We have not discussed this with her and are trying to work through it without upsetting her but I am more and more convinced she is upset without knowing the underline reason. DH and I are not arguing or fighting just not really communicating and we are both seeking counselling.
How can I help my relationship with her to make sure she feels secure and loved. I feel if our marriage ends she will be devastated. Any advice from parents who have experienced depression or separation would be welcome. I think I am kidding myself to think this hasn't effected her already.

Feeling sad and that I am letting my daughter down.

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