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Helping DD with friendships

(5 Posts)
tryhard Tue 15-Mar-16 11:29:38

DD is in Reception and I'm amazed at the politics of the playground already (not just her personally, they all seem to be at it)...'so and so isn't my friend, so and so is my best friend...so and so is/isn't coming to my party' etc. One day she could be coming out holding hands with a particular child, the next day they aren't talking. Listening to the other Moms chatting I think this must be a fairly normal part of the kids navigating a big group dynamic (32 in the class, girls & boys don't seem to mix) and I want to help DD so it doesn't affect her wanting to go into school if she finds herself out of favour for a while but I'm not how best to help her. Do I just brush it all off with a breezy 'oh it'll be fine'? It all seems so changeable and yet obviously while she's in the middle of it, it's the most important thing to her & I don't want to dismiss her feelings smile

Itsallaswizz Tue 15-Mar-16 11:59:14

Ive found my dd in the same situation and it's hard to know which line to walk with it. On the one hand you don't want to overreact and create worries when there's no need but on the other hand you want her to feel happy and don't want to dismiss her feelings as you say. Things I have done are:

1. Speak to teacher - is she happy in class, does she appear to be settling in well?
2. Get her to mix with other children outside school, maybe beavers/swimming for example?
3. Don't ignore boys as friend potential. Dd has a very good boy friend who is great very straight forward friendship - no drama!

Do look out though for the same name cropping up re excluding from games etc. as may be early warning of more serious clash of personalities or worse outright bullying. I wish I had been more on the ball with this.

Fuzz01 Tue 15-Mar-16 12:15:20

You need to let your DD find her own feet they are just young children
I would'nt overly invest your time in your daughters friendships at her age.

tryhard Tue 15-Mar-16 12:35:05

Ok thank you. She's starting Rainbows in Sept (they won't take her yet as she's not 5 till just before the summer holidays). I've asked her every half term if she wants a little friend over for a tea & a play & she's chosen a different one every time (all girls) & that's always gone fine. As you say I don't want to make something out of nothing but equally it seems the drama of who is playing with whom seems to be preoccupying her but perhaps it's to be expected as they're learning how to get along in a big group?'

Voteforpedr0 Tue 15-Mar-16 12:40:51

At this age I really wouldn't worry about it. Key is to listen to the names that keep coming up when she's telling you about her day, then do the playmates according to that. Even 2 over at a time to encourage not getting attached to the one child.

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