To parents with 3 kids...(44 Posts)
Could you tell me how much more hectic going from 2 to 3 is? Do you feel it is still the right decision? I'm about to have DC2 and think Id really love 3. People keep scaremongering me saying how much harder life would be in terms of practicalities i.e. cars/holidays and most importantly- once they are all at school- the mayhem that's involved with being a taxi service to clubs/activities/friends/parties as well as helping with exams and homework and the pressure that comes with being a parent at this stage. I feek confident having 3 smaller DC would be fine for me but its when they get older I question how we'd cope with different pressures.
Is it insanely pressure/mental?!
Reason I'd want 3 is the desire to have a bigger family, with bustling, fun, noisy (but controllable) chaos, I just have 1 sibling and always felt it would've been lovely if there had been 3 of us. Thanks.
It was easier from 2 to 3. People always want to give horror stories. Ignore them. It's great.
I've got 3 - they are DS1 (nearly 7), DS2 (4) and DD (14 months).
The hardest leap for me was from 0 child to 1 child. 1-2 was fairly easy and to be honest 2-3 has been a doddle. And that's from someone whose children don't sleep (DD still doesn't sleep through the night, wakes very early).
I know that life would be much much easier right now if we only had 2, but I love love love having my 3.
i found 1-2 incredibly hard.
2-3 was a doddle in comparison! (and when i had dd2, dd1 was 3y10m and ds 22m, so i had 3 under 4).
2-3 is easier in many ways. You have done the toddler and baby thing once before if you had the first two close together. The older one can help with fetching things and being eyes/distraction for baby for some of the time. I have 3, 6.5, 4 and 2 and work ft, we manage and the older two love having a little brother. Dd1 especially does on him. I found having my first the hardest, being woefully unprepared for the crushing lack of sleep and the wanting of perfection. Second time round I knew what to expect and knew what worked mostly. Third time you just get on with it and relax about the minutiae, you realise much of what you thought was important first time round is not and so long as they are fed, watered and happy it will be fine. Wearing matching outfits and frilly dresses goes out the window!
0-1 was relatively easy, 1-2 was a real struggle, learning to fit the needs of 2 children was tough, 2-3 was easy because you already learn to juggle the needs of more than 1 child (3-4 and 4-5 were also fairly easy too just in case you wanted an even more fun and busy house )
Watching with interest! Currently pregnant with number 3. We already have twins so never had the going from 1-2, which I have heard is harder than 2-3.
My three are still quite young and close in age. I love having three (and I'm one of three myself).
Personally I think dc gain a huge amount from having two rather than one sibling. For example, bullying is less tolerated. If you're too horrible to your sib, they'll just freeze you out and play with the other one, so getting along as to be learned. Also, its harder for one of three to create complexes about favouritism. My friend in her thirties (who has one db) is constantly watching for any favours or gifts her brother gets as proof that he's the favourite. She takes it as her parents dont like her. I have two siblings. If one gets something, I know it's nothing about me personally, as other sib got nothing too. And if one dc IS being favoured, ive got my dsis to back me up on it. I dont look so petulant. . Also having two siblings means you can talk to one about the other. I get on very well with my sibs.
It's also less tempting to compare children. Because its even more apparent what unique individuals your dc are. In two dc families I see too much of 'well ds1 is just like his dad and ds2 is just like his mum'. With three you can see it just is never as tidy as that and you should then load less of that baggage or expectation onto them.
I guess what im saying is, there is huge value in your dc being one of three. The chaos is hard but also fun.
For many people, three is impossible because of childcare costs and the practicalities of nursery and school pick ups around working hours. If you have a sahp arrangement or flexible working then it's not really any harder than 2, ime.
I'm a single mum of 3.
It depends on the temperament of number 3. My number 3 was a high needs baby but very chilled since then so not that hard really (He's 9)
And I second what pp have said. 1-2 I found harder than 2-3.
I found 0-1 a walk in the park
It took me about 3 years to get over 1-3 (twins)
I LOVE having 3 dcs
That said, I don't know if I'dve had 3 if I'd had them one at a time. Iykwim. I think there's something quite neat about two. Plus practical-odd numbers are shit for hotels, trains etc
I do echo a pp-about 3 being more noticeably distinct from each other
Go on, have 4
I'm finding 2-3 a lot harder than 1-2. Dc3 is a velcro baby and screams a lot. Most days there are points when dc3 is screaming violently in my arms while dc2 cries and hangs out of my cloths and dc1 starts to roar because the two babies are making too much noise. Bedtime is very tough when I have to do it alone (dh works a lot) but most of the problems are because dc3 doesn't sleep much and cries a lot and won't be put down. 2 was sooooo much easier. But I don't care. It will pass.
2-3 was the easiet jump for me. Baby just fitted in with the chaos
Thanks all for some great insights into life with 3!! Sounds delightfully chaotic and as if your lives are all enriched by this set up. It's still now firmly my plan.
I have 4. 2-3 was easier than any of the other transtions.
I found 1-2 so much harder. By number 3 you realise all the things you don't need to give a crap about anymore. It also depends on the age gaps. Larger gaps make the journey easier but it is also longer.
My MIL warned me that I would run out of hands after 2, but I would agree that on the whole I found it easier. Probably because I didn't give a shiny about half the stuff I worried about the first time round.
6, 4 and 2. Luckily they are all healthy and get on really well so far....
Love having 3, I am one of 3, DH is one of 4, could not imagine only having 2.
Once you have the infrastructure for 1 you are pretty set. You might want to check out the thread for a car that takes 3 child seats on the back row...
2-3 certainly hasn't been a doddle for me but my other two are a bit older so think I'd forgot how hard a newborn is
Having 2 kids is easy. Having 3 is lovely - but considerably more hard work! My other two were 6.5 and 4.5 when dc3 came into the world. It was easy enough in the first couple of years, but has been harder the last couple! Trying to do homework/make dinner/traipse around clubs and hobbies/music practise etc with a bloody minded toddler is not easy!! I wouldn't change it for the world, but I'm hoping when all 3 are at school from September things will calm down a little......I live in hope!!!!
Coping with 3 is fine.. Affording them is hard! So far this year I've paid out to school alone £600, with secondary uniform and the like still to come.
Love having 3 though, my littlest was my easiest and still is.
I found 0-1 v difficult, 1-2 a doddle and 2-3 hard even though dc3 is the most chilled out little person. What I find hard is having to split myself between them, them literally fighting over me and feeling like I'm letting them down so badly because I just can't do it all brilliantly and failing miserably (& I'm only a mum -no job as gave up career after dc2). There is no time left for me, or for dh.
I think it's just me though, all the other mums of 3 I know seem to be very together.
Agree that 1-2 was much harder than 2-3. There is about 2 years between each DC. 22 months between dc1 + 2 and 28 months between 2 + 3. The bigger age gap was much, much easier.
It feels very right too. Family feels complete in a way that it didn't with just two.
3 here. Worst point imo, is illness, which did increase for us, however I would do it all again, don't be fooled though it is a test. I am a strong capable woman, with no mh issues. I was tested, properly challenged. It is hard to keep the show on the road at times, depends on your standards, I still wanted thriving at school, clean clothes, fresh beds. I still wanted them to go on every school trip they wanted. I still took them abroad. I kept up the swimming lessons etc., still had friends over, still did big parties.
I absolutely loved it and I am very proud of them, but I do sometimes look at the lives of the 2 neat kids, and wonder why I chose the harder road. At the end of the day they grow up, you can't stop it.
It is harder, but you get to enjoy it for longer!
I find having three young kids absolutely insane!! lol Our house is always crazy, a bit messy, and hardly ever quiet. Would i change it? Maybe, but then i think how quite and lonely things would be with just 1.
We will not be having any more (unless some sort of Godly miracle as DH had the snip over a year ago) and I am perfectly happy with our choice.
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