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Relocating family to be a stay at home mum

(9 Posts)
Misscheifmaker Mon 14-Mar-16 13:48:18

Sorry long time lurker here but first time poster.

Was wondering if anyone could give me their opinion on our current situation. We live in the SE which is ridiculous housing wise. Have three children, 4yo twins and an 18month old and we both work full time. Our house is too small with a horrendous neighbour so currently having to move. Housing here is expensive and to afford the mortgage we will always need to work. Both me and DH are pretty equal earners with good jobs and are lucky to have parents who assist with childcare.

However lately I have been thinking of moving further north where we could buy the same size house as we could in the south but afford it on one salary. DH work is based from home with his office being up North and I could be a stay at home mum which I love the idea of.

Has anyone done this and moved away to make it happen? Did you regret leaving a good career? How did getting the children into schools work, school places have been applied for here? Or did you regret moving out of the London suburbs? We would be leaving all our family which is a guilt trip waiting to happen. If we move we wont know anyone. I have a good support system here and my job is very supportive of me having a young family with sickness cover etc. But I can't stop looking at a map and imaging the possibilities...

ILeaveTheRoomForTwoMinutes Mon 14-Mar-16 14:09:37

I've moved areas twice, it can be hard but if it's a better quality of life it can make up for it.

You say you've been thinking about it, but what does your dh think, is happy to be the sole bread winner?

I think moving schools mid year is easier sometimes, if you are moving into an area (depends on where) if the class is classed as full with 30 children an exception is made for an extra child that has just moved in the area (but not always)

The lack support network, could hit you hard too if you are use too.

With young DC you should find making friends easy.

You can also build up a new support network but this can take awhile.

As long as you are prepared it may not be a walk in the park, You should be

Misscheifmaker Mon 14-Mar-16 14:22:55

DH is on board with the move, his job is stable. Both us would love a bit more of a rural lifestyle. But it's a big change and we're used to both of us working.

My fear is getting both twins into the same school should we do it.

Xmasbaby11 Mon 14-Mar-16 14:27:17

I wouldn't worry about twins not getting into the same school - there's usually a rule about siblings getting priority.

So you're planning to move up north AND somewhere rural ... those are two big changes but if it's what you and Dh want, you can make it work. It'll be easy to make friends with young children.

ILeaveTheRoomForTwoMinutes Mon 14-Mar-16 14:36:49

I think you will be fine op. I actually love moving, the planning, the looking at areas house prices.

How far up north are you looking at going?

Are you in a town now? And looking for a village or small market town?

DesertOrDessert Mon 14-Mar-16 14:47:21

We made the change last year. Not from London, but UK to ME to allow me to give up work.
It was a rocky start, and yes, schools were hard, but we now have both kids in an excellent school, and were happy. It's made such a difference to get the kids back from schooland have all homework done before DH gets back from work. Apart from food shopping (sooo much easier with DH driving than me on a bus) weekends are ours to be a family.

Before we pulled the kids out of school (when we had no school places, and no guarantee of a school place - there is no system where we would have to be offered something) I dropped the council a note, and asked what spaces they had in the area in years A and B, and commented that I knew this info was only valid at the time of sending, and may change 5 minutes after sending the message. I got the info. So, if you know which area you may be interested in, could you drop the LEA a line, and see which schools have a pair of reception places?

Misscheifmaker Mon 14-Mar-16 15:11:20

We could move anywhere with DH job so it's a case of pick and choose but had looked at Derby and think we're going to head out this weekend for a look around.

I guess we can't go to rural after being used to towns and easy shopping possibilities!! Lol

I'll really miss family if we do it but this would be such a better life for everyone. More quality family time for us all.

nordicwannabe Mon 14-Mar-16 23:00:18

Rather than move north, could you move somewhere that is within reasonable (< 1 hour drive?) reach of family, but not easily commutable? Prices go down a lot even in the SE if you are rural and out of reach of big cities!

Personally, I'd be really loathe to give up proximity to family: not just for practical support, but because it's so wonderful for children to live close to their family and see them often.

Yo may not want to give identifying details, but if you can say where your family are and what your budget is, people might be able to suggest a location.

sailawaywithme Sun 20-Mar-16 03:18:43

I would caution against moving somewhere where you know no-one, to be a SAHM. I think it's incredibly hard to start "fresh" anywhere - but without the day-to-day routine and contact with others...that's your work cut out for you. (I speak as someone who has moved cities several times, the last one transatlantic.)

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