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Aibu to think grandparents should help out more?

(8 Posts)
Theydidit Tue 08-Mar-16 19:50:14

I have 20 month old twins and basically get no help from either sets of grandparents.
Obviously I know that the DT's are our responsibility but would it be unreasonable to expect an evening of babysitting every couple of months?
The last time we went out together as a couple was my birthday in October.
I think the thing that makes me cross is my parents go away every other weekend which basically means I'm on call for my very elderly grandmother every other weekend with not much in return - maybe one evening every 6 months or so and in laws (who do live 1.5 hours away to be fair) also never babysit even though they look after sis in laws 2 while she goes away on holiday, and pretty much all school holidays...

ShatnersBassoon Tue 08-Mar-16 19:53:01

Have you ever asked them for the favour? My mum would never offer (I don't know why) but happily babysits if we say we want to go out on a specific date at least a couple of weeks away.

VimFuego101 Tue 08-Mar-16 19:56:47

Are you on good enough terms that you could ask them/let them know how much you'd appreciate some help? Of course nobody should expect their parents to babysit for them, but I do find it strange how some grandparents seem to be totally hands off. Their choice, of course - it just seems strange they don't offer at all when they expect you to be on call for your grandmother.

uhoh2016 Tue 08-Mar-16 19:56:57

Just ask them out right to babysit the worst that can happen is they say no. They may be desperate to babysit but feel like they can't ask or offer.

NewLife4Me Tue 08-Mar-16 20:01:13

I would ask them tbh, you may be surprised how much they want to.

Does your sil live closer to her parents than you and dh?
I can understand why they babysit a lot if they live close.

HermioneWeasley Tue 08-Mar-16 20:04:46

My parents never babysit. Ask, but don't be disappointed if they say no.

People will be along to tell you they are your kids and not your parents' responsibility, which is true, but in a normal family dynamic I would expect them to babysit from time to time

Muskateersmummy Tue 08-Mar-16 20:30:26

We have 4 sets of grandparents. One have dd regularly, and have her over night. Another will babysit if asked. The other two for varying reasons will not babysit at all, except in an emergency. You need to ask them, but don't be offended if they say no. Maybe the are anxious about looking after the twins

Theydidit Tue 08-Mar-16 20:51:07

Yes sis in law does live close by and I know that's why she gets a lot of help but it's still annoying. My parents do help very occasionally (basically in an emergency or on our birthdays) but always seem to be busy otherwise. Also it's not exactly that they expect me to be on call as such but there's only me if they are away so whether they specifically ask me or not I obviously do have to be ready to rush round if my granny needs anything which sadly does happen a lot. I don't know. Maybe I am expecting too much. It's just that most people I know get a lot more help with their kids...

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