Breastfeeding my baby and getting rude comments from people saying he is small

(37 Posts)
2015mom Mon 07-Mar-16 22:35:05

I am getting so annoyed at people who are making comments about my son being small! I exclusively breastfeed and they need to educate themselves that breastfed babies will not be chubby like babies who are on formula milk!

Can't believe how rude some people are to say it!!!

I am giving my son the best possible start in life but keep on hearing rude comments by ignorant people!!

AlleyCatandRastaMouse Mon 07-Mar-16 22:38:49

Two of the cutest chubbiest chubsters I know we're breastfed. My breastfed baby was far bigger than his ff sister who was pretty teeny. If your child is small, it is just something factual to say not a slur. Don't take it personally would be my advice.

MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly Mon 07-Mar-16 22:41:04

It's totally random. My ebf baby was above 98th centile for height and weight from birth (still is!!).

Lots of baby "experts" come out of the woodwork as soon as you give birth. Eventually I just tuned out and did my own thing, regardless of all the useless advice and comments.

2015mom Mon 07-Mar-16 23:41:13

I just commented that health visitor has no issues with his weight!

The last person who asked has a 2 year old who has just come off size 4 nappies and my little one has been in size 4 nappies for a month and he's only 5 months!

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 07-Mar-16 23:43:02

Can you tell them to fuck off or is that considered rude nowadays?

2015mom Tue 08-Mar-16 00:06:42

Lol might do with the next person who says it lol

Pinkheart5915 Tue 08-Mar-16 02:28:46

I exclusively breast feed my baby now six months and he's small he was born tiny but health visitor says weight is spot on so he must just look smaller than he is.
I think even in 2016 some people just don't understand breast feeding and need to be educated. There is always someone making a remark about breast feeding baby to small, shouldn't be allowed in public etc

Sadmother Tue 08-Mar-16 02:48:28

Being small isn't an insult, why do you think it is?

NickyEds Tue 08-Mar-16 08:30:20

People have commented that my dd is small a lot. She is, 9th centile. It's not a dig I don't think, and not in and of itself a comment on your feeding choice, or at least I never take it as such. Not all ff babies are "chubby". I'm a bit hmm about some of the pp, so the next time someone says "oh, isn't your dd a tiddler/dinky/a dot/tiny!" I should turn around and tell them to fuck off? If had a couple of fairly direct insults about my bf (all from just one person ) but I'm not sure saying your baby is small is one of them..

waitingforsomething Tue 08-Mar-16 08:34:29

People just like to comment on size. It's something to say. Mine are tall- people can't stop mentioning it. Just nod and agree that he is indeed small and there are no issues

FishWithABicycle Tue 08-Mar-16 08:40:08

Are you sure they mean it as a criticism? Babies grow so fast and parents of older children get used to their child's current size. Any younger baby, whether bf or ff or whatever, seems tiny. If I say "isn't he tiny" of a baby I am having the privilege of cuddling I don't mean it as an insult at all - I am marvelling at the baby's wonderfulness and remembering that in what will seem to you in retrospect as a blink of an eye he will double in size and double again and he will never be so tiny (in a good way) again.

WilLiAmHerschel Tue 08-Mar-16 08:51:14

I assumed op meant it was being said negatively. Obviously I don't think you should tell anyone to fuck off.

Only1scoop Tue 08-Mar-16 08:54:14

I didn't realise ff babies were known to be 'chubby' ....dd was never chubby and ff from birth.

WilLiAmHerschel Tue 08-Mar-16 09:13:08

I don't know about being known to be chubby, but on average a bf baby gains more weight in the first few months then slows down and will weigh less than a ff baby, but it all evens out by the time they are toddlers. Both are fine and normal but some people see it as a sign that bf babies aren't getting enough.

purplefizz26 Tue 08-Mar-16 09:22:06

Why do you think 'small' is an insult?

Not all formula fed babies are 'chubby' either.

All babies are just different.

Only1scoop Tue 08-Mar-16 09:37:30

I think people just make token comments about babies often without thinking....probably small talk thinking they are being pleasant....

'Ah isn't she dainty....tiny etc'
'Aww she's so chubby'

Just comments

baffledmummy Tue 08-Mar-16 09:38:22

Errr....I think you need to educate yourself that not all FF babies are 'chubby' - I feel like you are being just as judgemental as those who believe are criticising your baby. DD has been FF since birth and is 9th centile so on the the small side. I couldn't give a hoot is someone calls her small. She is perfect.

Only1scoop Tue 08-Mar-16 09:39:56

'Educate themselves' confused

I'm sure they couldn't give a shiny shite how you are feeding.

They are comments not to be taken to heart.

nailsathome Tue 08-Mar-16 09:47:34

People say all sorts of things, you have to just ignore them.

Some say my baby is small, he is 98th centile for height and weight. His grandpa also commented on his lovely brown eyes. They're blue/green

You'll start getting comments about all the developmental milestones soon too

Hennifer Tue 08-Mar-16 09:49:05

I think it's probably untrue that FF babies tend to be fatter. All of mine have been fully BF from birth and none has been particularly thin.

My first was almost off the scale of fatness. He was huge within a few weeks despite being born quite tiny.

So it's all a bit random IMO.

BexusSugarush Tue 08-Mar-16 09:59:56

Apparently alot of people got annoyed about you posting this message, which is quite shocking. They clearly don't remember what it's like to have a new baby and feel like every look or comment is a judgement on your parenting choices. When I switched to formula with mine at 5 weeks, I got alot of comments about how my little one will now get chubby if she's no longer on the breast, which quite upset me - it DID sound like they were implying I was making a bad choice for my baby. And in all fairness, it's alot healthier for a baby to be overfed than underfed at this age, the latter of which is more likely to happen to breastfed babies, as I know from my own difficulties breastfeeding.

Sometimes though it is just people trying to make conversation, using the little they THINK they know about babies, and they often have no idea they're hitting a tender spot with their words. I personally would just go for 'he's a baby; he's supposed to be small' and if they persist maybe question what qualification entitles them to make that judgement. To me, that is the balance between ignoring it and telling them to fuck off.

Ignore the people telling you that you're over-reacting; having a little baby is an emotional time and it's very easy to feel judged by those around you, especially if there are other factors causing difficulties. However silly it sounds, try not to let anyone get to you - as you say, you know you love your child and are doing what you can for them and in all honesty, who is more qualified than you to know what your son needs, eh? xxx

TinyTear Tue 08-Mar-16 10:03:48

Babies are just different.
I ebf my two and one was on the 9th centile and the other on the 90th... same milk, same mummy... Maybe I used to be skimmed and now I'm gold top... who knows...

TinyTear Tue 08-Mar-16 10:04:13

10 month old weighs now the same that her sister did at 2 years old... grin

3sugarsplease Tue 08-Mar-16 10:06:54

I think your being a tad over sensitive. If the HV is happy then let whatever people say go over your head. I don't get offended when people say my baby is a bruiser and is a chub, so why should you get offended vice verca. There are bigger things to worry about in life. Let it go.

CestLaVie93 Tue 08-Mar-16 11:09:49

they need to educate themselves that breastfed babies will not be chubby like babies who are on formula milk

No, OP, I think you need to educate yourself...

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