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Am I the only parent who hates toddler groups?

(23 Posts)
TeaBelle Thu 25-Feb-16 14:06:41

Ahhhh! I found a lovely under 1 ' s group when dd was tiny, but now she is 16 months I am struggling to find a group where we fit. Tried a few and I really dislike them. They tend to be populated by very nearly school age children who dominate the toys/activities/snacks so that dd is always missing out.

I am not the most social person so find it difficult to instigate conversation with other parents. I need a mummy friend!!

Lexipedia Thu 25-Feb-16 14:11:49

I do too. As my eldest goes to playgroups with his childminder I figure me not taking him won't do him too much harm. I occasionally take him and then remember why I hate them.

phoenix1973 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:16:38

No, I hated going to them. Went for about 6 months, every week. Only ever met one lady I clicked with and she wasn't a regular. In fact, I was the only regular. Some days there was nobody else there.....other days it was rammed full of non English speakers. Not much fun at all. Its great knowing I will NEVER have to go to another one in my lifetime.

Doje Thu 25-Feb-16 14:17:48

I have a love / hate relationship with them. I'm not good at the small chat and forget names and details that others remember about me so worry that I appear rude. However, DS1 loves them, it's good for him to be around other kids and they wear him out which means I get a good nap out of him!

I also found that after 1 yr old there's less groups that are suitable. I suppose because a proportion of mums go back to work so there's not demand. We just kept looking though, and have a few in our repertoire that are good for both DS1(2 yrs) and DS2 (4 months)

Pinkheart5915 Thu 25-Feb-16 14:58:13

Not quite the same but I have a baby boy of 5 months, and I attended a few baby groups before I found one where I felt I fitted it.

ODog Thu 25-Feb-16 18:12:38

I guess I have been lucky that we have 2 lovely local toddler groups that we both love. Most people there go every week so everyone gets to know each other and there are a good mu of ages. Could you find out where other 'graduates' from your under 1's group went?

Kr1stina Thu 25-Feb-16 18:16:56

Don't go if you dislike them , they're not compulsory .

And no your child won't suffer, before anyone suggests it.

TeaBelle Thu 25-Feb-16 20:18:26

Thanks everyone

Most people from our under 1 ' s group go to the toddler group at the same location but doesn't fit with my working days.

I feel that i have to go to groups but think it's just my own ridiculous hang up so am going to give serious consideration to doing more enjoyable activities together!

duckyneedsaclean Thu 25-Feb-16 20:20:24

Ugh, no. I hated them. Occasionally went so I could sit on my own for a minute while they played.

CadenceRoastingByAnOpenFire Thu 25-Feb-16 21:13:29

I hated them too. I preferred taking mine to soft play because there wasn't an expectation to make friendly chit chat. I did end up chatting to other mums there but it wasn't forced like it can be toddler groups. The library had decent toddler sessions when mine were little too.

Kr1stina Fri 26-Feb-16 17:20:53

You don't have to go to groups of you don't want to . I've raised several kids without going to toddler groups and they have all turned out perfectly normal. Ish .

superbfairywren Fri 26-Feb-16 17:26:15

I haven't braved any toddler groups yet. DD is 15months and I Keep meaning to go to something as I think she will love it but I know I won't!

Luna9 Fri 26-Feb-16 23:17:01

I enjoyed them with my first one and made some friendsbut not so much with the second one so didn't bother much the second time around; plus she was happy just going to the park and used to get bored in singing groups, etc. after 20 min

skankingpiglet Sat 27-Feb-16 10:54:19

I think the key is finding one that suits, which I appreciate is easier said than done. I've been to a lot some I have absolutely hated for a variety of reasons, and a small few I've really liked. Some of the good ones DD has unfortunately outgrown now, but we have been left with a lovely one in our village and a softplay session at a local gym which is more than enough with everything else she has on.
If you really don't want to, that's fine! I think it is good for them to have social interaction with other children, but this can be achieved with activities (like swimming), play dates or going to a nursery or child-minder. If you are undecided maybe try a few others to see if you can find a 'fit'. Our children's centre have a list of all the groups in the area (not just theirs), and there is usually a choice of several each day of the week.

MrsOlaf78 Sun 28-Feb-16 20:22:31

When I look back on the toddler years I do regret wasting so much time at toddler groups feigning interest in other people's children, eating stale biscuits while inhaling the smell of pungent nappies and trying to avoid snotty noses and trying not to look too annoyed when dd got pushed or hit. I wish to goodness I had just gone out for a walk with her to the park, the garden centre, the library, the museum etc. It would have been much more enjoyable for me and more stimulating for her too.

Mynd Mon 29-Feb-16 20:05:06

DD is almost 5 and I've not set foot in one. They hold no interest for me at all. When she was little, I took her to libraries, museums etc instead. I doubt my daughter has been damaged in any way by my avoidance smile

PeppasNanna Mon 29-Feb-16 20:10:29

I've 6dc. Dd has just turned 2 so i tried the toddler group thing as with the older dc i never went to a toddler group as either they barely existed ( 90's). I worked or 2 of the dc had SN.

Honestly? What a waste of a morning!
So boring. I went for a few weeks & thought sod it -lifes too short!

MewlingQuim Mon 29-Feb-16 20:11:27

I hate them. DD loves them, so I force myself to go for her benefit. I have found a lovely group at the moment, but have been to some truly awful ones in the past sad

jaykay34 Mon 29-Feb-16 20:15:55

I don't enjoy them.

Years ago, I took my eldest two - but I was a SAHM back then, and had friends with kids the same age I attended with. I found them generally very cliquey and very competitive - I never really made new friends there and felt awkward. There were always "power mums" who seemed to take over the groups and make everyone else feel uncomfortable.

With my toddler son (he's a lot younger than my older ones), I have never set foot in one. I now work 3 days per week and don't want to go to something I'll potentially hate on my days off. I did feel guilty that he wasn't mixing with other kids so he attends a little nursery for two mornings a week which he loves.

jimpam Mon 29-Feb-16 20:16:23

They can be hard going. I go to two every week with DS & have been for almost a year. It's cheap & uses up some of his energy but they can be painful!

MintChocAddict Mon 29-Feb-16 20:45:38

I've got two DCs of school age and have never set foot in a toddler or baby group. It held no appeal for me and I made no Mummy friends when my DCs were babies I'm a weirdo I probably realised fairly early on that I'm massively anti social when I broke out in a cold sweat at the Health Visitors suggestion that I went along to a reunion of my NHS antenatal group. Eek.

To be honest I just loved the time with my DCs. They went to nursery a couple of days a week after each maternity leave and on my days off we pottered around parks, libraries, shops etc. I also really enjoyed meeting up with existing friends and talking about other things not baby related! Was never lonely or felt the need to seek other Mums out. Any info I needed I got from here grin

Now the DCs are at school I find myself avoiding the high profile Mums who are actively involved in every group, nursery and school activity. Fair play to them for helping out, and they no doubt think I'm a lazy mare, but they exhaust me. I think I always presumed they would be the types to organise the toddler type groups hence the reluctance to get involved.

<slopes back to my table for one>

Allnamesaretakenffs Tue 01-Mar-16 14:12:42

Ours are all at times when my toddler was due for nap. Also, they almost all had a waiting list, and the few we did get to were so crammed full of children and nattering adults it was too stressful for him and me. We ended up putting him in for minimal hours at local nursery once he turned two, our saving grace!

StarChaser99 Tue 01-Mar-16 18:17:45

I don't enjoy the generic toddler groups (and always resent taking my DD to play with the battered dirty toys when she could be playing with her own clean and fully functioning toys) but have more success at the groups that have a focus like music groups. At the moment I take our DD to baby ballet and she loves it and there's less of the "mum politics."

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