How do I not shout in the mornings?(22 Posts)
I feel horrible about shouting, but only shouting and threats of loss of computer/TV time seems to work. Dc just does not get ready without constant chivvying.
I'm sick of the constant stress of trying to get to breakfast club before cut off, and then to work on time.
How can I make it easier and less stressful?
I was like that too when DC were about 8 and 5. No advice. They just started getting their act together more so I shouted less.
Actually, getting bags ready the night before helped. One less thing in the morning to dawdle over!
I've given up trying to get mine to get dressed by himself and now set an extra 10 minutes aside to devote to getting him ready. Not ideal but it's the only way we get out on time.
I don't know - I still shriek like a crazed harpie most mornings!!
Now mine are a bit older I do find it easier to get up about half an hour before them so that I can be completely ready myself so when they eventually surface I can chivvy them along without getting frantic and
For me.. things that have helped ( not sure anyway has a dream morning where kids just get ready)
No TV till ready...Once ready we call it free time..
We have done timing world records
wipe board and pen so can tick off jobs that are done..
How old are your dc?
Can they tell the time?
We a set routine so they know what's happening everyday.
Up and dressed first thing. Breakfast at 7.30.
Then teeth and hair.
They know they need to be ready to be out of the door by 8am.
Do you follow through on your threats?
And definitely bags, coats etc by the door the night before.
I used to be stressed shouty mum in the mornings .
What completely changed it for me was getting up earlier. I now get up at 6am (used to be 7-7.30am) and it gives me the extra time to sort lunches/uniforms/my head and have a cuppa/shower before having to wake the DC. Everything runs SO much more smoothly now and I can't remember when I last snapped at any of the DC.
Have minimal to do.
We make sure everyone's homework is done and in bag by door, coat/ shoes/ gloves ready, school clothes including pants laid out. Breakfast stuff laid out night before where possible ( table laid with plates/ bowls/ cutlery/ glasses). Baths/ showers night before for kids.
So in the morning for children it's literally up, toilet, teeth, clothes one, eat, shoes and go.
Dh and I are up before them so start breakfast as we wake them, so by the time they are dressed food is being served and they can eat and go. They wake 7.50-8am, leave house 8.30am. No tv/ reading/ toys etc in the morning. Dh and I are also showered and dressed and ready before they wake
No TV, everything ready night before, factor in extra time.
Agree with what other posters have said about minimising the number of things to do in the morning and about no TV etc until DC are dressed etc.
You mention constant chivvying- my youngest takes ages to do anything (he will ponder the universe/fidget with anything in reach/dance etc in between each mouthful of breakfast/item of clothing). I've introduced a timer (I use an old fashioned egg timer type thing that I think was originally meant for timing tooth brushing). If he does what I ask before the timer runs out he gets a point, if he doesn't I get one- he needs to 'beat' my score to get a treat after school (usually extra 10mins TV time). It seems to work quite well as long as I split the tasks up sensibly- not sure why but he's less stroppy about the timer hurrying him than if I just tell him to hurry up. At least it means there are 2 min intervals between nags!
There are also things you can't expect to factor in.. I asked DS what he was doing this morning when I had asked him to put toothpaste on toothbrush... his reply kissing your (make up) brush...Why I don't know????
A friend suggested this after me saying i was struggling. So ds has to get dressed, brush teeth, brush hair, get his bag by the door and shoes by door and then eat his breakfast, then he can have the tv on or play on ipad. Works most mornings, he is usually up and ready by 8 am, we leave at 8.30
Lay out clothes the night before.
Do bags the night before.
Get up before them to have your shower/dress/makeup/first cup of tea in peace.
No TV on until everything is done: dressed, teeth clean etc.
Put soothing music on.
Make your own tea/coffee first then sort out what they need.
Think of something positive to hurry them, instead of shouting. E.g. Quick get dressed fast so you'll have more time to play with (best friend) at Breakfast Club. Or if you get dressed really quickly there'll be time to watch X before we leave.
If they are forgetful, use one word reminders. I spent about three years saying very little to DS2 in the morning except for Socks. Teeth. Socks. Teeth.
There should be an app - breakfasts - 3 repeats - teeth - 5 repeats - dressed 6 repeats - hairbrush hunt 3 repeats - coats 4 repeats - intermittent stop fighting - shoes 2 repeats -
Bag check - homework inhaler glasses lunch spare change letter -
Mummy App? Anyone want one?
I'll sign up for the app!
Everything is ready the night before. I always follow through on threats. No tv allowed. It's just the sheer faffing about that starts the second I say get dressed. Why yes, sorting out the dressing up drawer was far more important than brushing teeth.
No TV/screen time in the morning on school mornings. Bags etc ready the night before. Aged 6 and 8.
No breakfast until they're washed and dressed! That worked for me.
Make sure you are organised/ready yourself and then you can supervise what they are doing. If I ask dd(6) to go and clean her teeth it takes forever, if I go with her and say let's go and clean your teeth it's much quicker
Couldn't agree more with need to be super organised, also I had a conversation with lo ( not in the morning I add !) about what it was important to do in the morning and what wasn't, we had very different ideas ha.
We then wrote a checklist that we ticked off ( photocopy and use each day) my lo loved doing this.
Finally we typed a letter which went like this :
Dear Mr B ( headteacher)
I am sorry I am late this morning
This is because ..............(i.e, i didn't listen to my mummy telling me to get dressed)
then a space for them to sign their name.
I would refer to checklist and letter through the morning , "oh no i don't think we are going to get everything done on the list , we will have to sign the letter , quick lets see if we can do it"
This made my , and my lo's, morning much less stressful and even meant we often had time at the end for a bit of play , reading , etc.
I know not everything works the same for each child but some friends have used it and its worked for them too .
I think if children get the idea that you are trying to do it together and not nagging them , shouting etc. they are much more likely to do it ( same for me as well, I'm the worlds biggest refuser if I feel I am being nagged, ha )
We have to leave at 7.20. DC are 6 and 3. I get up at 6 and have tea in peace. Once they're up, they get dressed (on their own apart from the occasional help with socks for the little one) and have breakfast. No time for much else! Hair, teeth done by 7.10 then they sit on the stairs!
I start shouting around 7.05 though, so no help to you, sorry.
I love the letter to headteacher idea! Shame it wouldn't work for my own boss...
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