Hello everyone. It has been a few years since I have posted, and I am back for help.
Long story short: I have a lovely 6yr old dd, and an ex. When we separated I promised that we would be co-parents, and I believe that it is important that she has a great relationship with us both. That has translated into a commitment that we have 50/50 residence. In theory, that was a great idea.
But oh god it is hard. We have tried every single type of schedule and nothing works. She frequently cries not to leave me, whether that is to go to him, or if the handover happens during the school day. Some days she is happy to go but this weekend she begged for an hour to stay with me. It was agonising. I eventually had to promise to visit her that night. She left sobbing but was alright when I went round that evening.
We used to have a 3 days on 3 days off schedule, which she found difficult (frequent handovers) and because that was not working I asked her if she would like to change it. She said she would like to spend one week with me and one with her daddy. But that means I do not see her for a week and I cannot bear it. The first two days that she is with her dad I spend crying. She seems to be fine and happy once she has left. It is possible that she cries when she leaves because she can sense how upset I am (I am not showing it on purpose). She says she does not want to change the schedule, but it becomes a different matter on hand-over day. Am I upsetting her, or is my gut instinct right that a week apart from me is damaging to her?
Who here has managed to co-parent well, and how did you do it, please?
Or who was co-parented in a way that I can learn from?
Or who has great advice for me?
I really cannot stand much more of this agonising separation from her, but I cannot think of the right path forward.
Thank you so much. Hello to anyone who recognises me :)
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Co-parenting nightmare. Please help.
25 replies
blinder · 21/02/2016 21:16
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