What do your DC call their grandparents?(12 Posts)
Currently expecting our 1st baby (which will be first grandchild for both my family & dh's).
We both grew up with 4 sets of grandparents (due to couples breaking up and re-marrying and great-grandparents) so we are both used to grandparents having different names (rather than just the normal grandma/granddad) including nan, gran, etc etc and, if any names overlapped they would be known by their name and surname (eg nan jones).
As there aren't any set family names for grandparents, we gave all sets of grandparents (including great & great-great grandparents) the option of choosing what names they wanted to be called.
One set wants to be known as grandma/grandad first name (even though no other sets of grandparents have chosen to be known as grandma/grandad so, in my opinion, there's no need to tag anything on the end). They have said that, mentally, they don't feel old enough to be gps so want to keep their first names (they are in their 50s).
I know that some people are probably OK with this but, as it is something that has never been done in either family, I don't like the idea of my dc calling their grandparents by their first names...for me, I would never have called parents/grandparents by their first name as it was deemed disrespectful.
Does anybody else have these views?
And what would you do/say in this situation? There's still a while to go before baby is born so i thought it might be better to sort it out now rather than when we're sleep-deprived
TIA for opinions
well, my mum was pretty clear that she wanted to chose what she was called.
That is partly because she can't stand Nan, Nanny or Gran.
She chose to be Granny and if the other GPs also wanted Granny, then she would be Granny Annie, because she liked the sound of it. She was working herself into a bit of a thing about it actually.
I was fine with that. It actually just sorted itself out once the first grandchild arrived, they became Granny and Grandpa, the other GPs chose to be Nanny and Granddad.
I don't think it is disrespectful to have first names with a title at the front, after all Auntie Jane is exactly that isn't it? What is the difference between that and Grandma Jane?
Thanks for your reply...I suppose your right in that there's no difference between aunt/uncle or grandparent with first name...it's just when I was growing up it was really frowned upon to call any parent/grandparent by 1st name so I suppose it just feels wrong to me.
I think I'm more bothered by them saying that they will "just be called by first name" if grandma/grandad first name is too much of a mouthful for baby...if I knew that there would still be the grandparent title it wouldn't be too bad. I'm probably working myself up for no reason though!
My DS only has one set of grandparents due to a waste of space father but they are grandma/grandad. Although they are known as mamar and gangan as he can't say grandma and grandad and those names have sort of stuck!
DS calls my MIL "nanan" but as I don't have my mum we didn't really need to think of a way of differentiating between two. My dad and FIL are "grandad first name"
Unusually, I still have MY grandparents (they had 'em young in my family) so he has 4 great grandparents who he refers to as "old nanan" and "old grandad" much to their displeasure
I don't think calling by the first name is disrespectful and adding a title (granny/grandad etc.) makes it even more respectful.
My kid calls my parents by the Finnish names for granny and grandad so Mummi and Pappa, her paternal grandad she calls Vaari which is another name for grandad and her paternal step-grandmother she just calls by her first name. She calls my OH's (not her dad) parents by their first names as well. I'm all for calling people by their first names really, not keen on titles too much except for granny/grandad/aunty/uncle (everyone is an aunty or uncle to my kid, I love it)
DS1 calls my dad by his first name despite my DM's very best efforts to get him to say grandpa! When he first started to talk he heard DM shouting DF's name so he joined in and now 9 years later it's well and truly stuck. DS2 however is not allowed to call DF anything other than grandpa
It's not disrespectful if it's their choice. I dislike being called Title Surname by children and Aunty Firstname is nearly as bad, I always ask other people's children to use my first name. I would prefer Granny Firstname to just Granny.
PILs are Grandma and Pa, DF was Poppy and his partner is Nonna, and DM is Mimi. DM chose the title herself; there were already other grandchildren for the others so we used whatever was already in use.
DM also wanted just her name but I agree, I think a title is more respectful.
just on another tack, one of my grandmas was called Oma (she isn't Dutch or German, so I never knew why that stuck!)
One of my cousins didn't have any other grandparents and he wanted to call her Granny or Grandma, because he didn't have a 'Granny' and all his friends did.
So I think naming should take in the child as well as the wishes of the grandparent.
My parents are grandma and granddad. Dhs mum and step dad are nan and pops. Dhs dad is a stranger the girls have only met once so he doesn't even get a mention.
My grandma died last year but she was GG (shorter version of great grandma because she thought that was too much of a mouthful).
Dhs stepdads mum is gran.
I think it's OK for the grandparents to choose what they're called. You can always call them grandma and granddad without their first names when you're at home, then use the first names as well when you're with them if that's what they prefer. I suspect they'll be happy with whatever they're called by the baby/toddler. My parents were proudly mamar and dandad for years when dd1 couldn't pronounce grandma and granddad. Both nieces and dd2 followed suit as that's what they heard dd1 saying. It's only very recently that dd2 has switched to grandma and granddad, and she's 5!
Think about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Grandpa Joe, Grandma Josephine, Grandpa George and Grandma Georgina, it doesn't sound disrespectful at all.
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