Girl at my uni and her 2 year old son should I get involved(4 Posts)
I've changed my name for this as I'm doubting whether to even post this.
I'm at university and recently made friends with a girl on my course. She is from Poland and 28, she can speak fluent English though. She has a two year old son. She told me that when she had the baby she was told by social services that she had to leave her babies dad as he had sereve schizophrenia and now he's not involved at all.
In 2014 she got married and told me it was for her visa purposes, she also told me her husband and her was together but she didn't really love him and was looking for someone else. He was a heavy cocaine user and that he didn't work and just stayed in every day living in her house and off of her student finance. She said that when her loan got paid he took £2000 from her bank and spent it on cocaine.
She then broke up with him last year and started seeing someone else during the summer. After the summer we started speaking again when I went back to uni. She said they had split up because he wasn't contributing to the bills and as well as this he had given her an sti by cheating which she had forgiven him for, but he dumped her later.
She recently (September time) got with a new man and social services are now involved. She said that her 2 year old son was jumping on her bed and fell off. She said he had a big bruise on his back and when the childminder asked him how he did it he said that her boyfriend had done it. She remains adamant that he fell off of her bed and that he only said it because he doesn't like her boyfriend. She told me the other day that she has to have regular meetings with a social worker and they have told her to leave her boyfriend but she hasn't as she said she loves him too much. She told me the health visitor came round the other day and the house smelt of weed as she and her boyfriend had a joint before she came over. The health visitor pulled her up on it and said she would need to do a urine test for social services. My friend told me that she plans to stop for 7 days to pass the test.
She is a nice girl very kind and friendly but I can't help but feel sorry for her son. I don't know if it's my place to get involved and report all of this though. I don't want him to be in any harm and she has admitted to me the lies she tells them to get out of trouble. All of her family live in Poland, she literally had no body. She moved down here at 20, worked till she got pregnant then has made a life on her own. I try to give her advise and help but she doesn't listen or understand why she's wrong.
It sounds as though she is firmly on the social services' radar, and they are probably aware of all the common tricks to get round tests etc. If you are still concerned about her son and you don't think they are doing enough to protect him, you could report your concerns to them. It's everyone's business if a child is being mistreated.
Personally I think if your gut says to contact social services then I would do it. You can do it anonymously I believe? They will be better able to offer support with as much info as possible. Go with your gut and be brave if that's what it tells you.
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