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Saying 'no'; throwing food and other discipline(10 Posts)
Looking for some advice re parenting my 11mo. He's a total joy (sleep aside!) and is in a great phase of exploring the world. I'm wondering though, how much of this to I encourage and how much do I start to create boundaries?
For example, mealtimes are supposed to be relaxed at the mo but he's started dropping food on the floor and grabbing his spoon and waving it. I'm pleased he's keen to get the spoon on his own. Do I encourage or say 'no'? I'm not fussed on the mess just the right thing to do.
Also, there are things in the living room he shouldn't tough - sky box - do i move it away so it's not an issue or use it to teach him that he can't get everything he wants?
I know he is young but want to right by him (and by us for the toddler years).
I should add, he also bites (only me). I think it is affection or when he is tired. I've been saying 'no' and putting him on the floor (makes him cry). Is this the right thing to do? Again, he's not malicious; just learning.
I have a thing about the word "no" it gets over used and they zone out. So I save "no" for emergency situations.
I think the throwing food and waving spoon is part of the messy weaning experience! It's just a case of showing how to use the spoon.
As for the sky box, we never moved that sort of stuff, just distracted her from it, moved her away from it and explained it wasn't for her to play with
I hated the weaning stage. At 11 months your baby won't understand. I'm afraid you will just have to suck it up just now.
If you are happy with the mess I would let him explore food and cutlery for now. My DS is 20mo and has just started throwing food about because he doesn't like it or is bored or just trying to get a reaction and we have started moving the food away or getting him down etc.
With touching stuff you don't want him to, I would move it out the way of convenient otherwise it wk become a constant battle for everyone. Make accessible areas as baby/toddler friendly as possible and everyone can relax and have more fun.
With other behaviours such as boring, I would just say ouch that hurts mummy, we kiss/cuddle/be gentle and show him the preferred behaviour. He's very little but it will sink in eventually.
We also hardly ever said no.. The few times I have said it my son looks really scared and knows gems done something really bad!
I wouldn't worry about throwing food, it won't happen forever and if the mess is easily cleanable it's not a problem.
As for the sky box, I moved most things like that, purely so I didn't have to say no all the time, or be on top of him. By making the house practically toddler proof I could be much more chilled out leaving him to explore.
I never tolerated throwing food, and don't really understand why it seems popular to on MN - I don't know anyone in real life who allows food throwing?
I would move anything you don't want touched.
Hi OP, we're in a similar situation with my DS, he is nearly 11 months and sounds like he's going through the same stage! We have moved DVD player etc out of the way as he seemed to gravitate towards it! Re food, I agree with posters above that it's just them learning how to use a spoon so this will get better as they grow older. I don't say 'no' in that situation, but he seems to do it when he's bored so I often finish the meal there and go and play in the other room with him, instead. My DS has also bitten both me and DP in the last few weeks, and that is one situation where I do say 'no' and then try to get him interested in playing with a toy or something, instead. I don't want him to bite other babies at playgroups or his grandparents when they are looking after him, so I try to discourage that. I think throwing a spoon or dropping food could be considered a grey area in that it's not harming anyone and it is their way of learning about how the world works (eg gravity!) But I think biting people is less of a grey area. I'm glad to know it's not just my DS, though!
instead of saying 'no' to stop him doing something, find something for him to do that is a positive, instead:
so instead of eg 'no, don't throw food on the floor' try
'can you keep all your food on the plate?' (or wherever)
That's the tactic we used too buckingfrolicks
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