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How long should I leave it?

(15 Posts)
XxHanxX Wed 03-Feb-16 14:47:57

Hi all

Just wondering what your thoughts are on the 'ideal' age gap between a sibling?

My little boy is 9 months and I was thinking of trying for another baby.

Just wondered what your thoughts were on the 'ideal' age gap?

Thanks smile

kd83 Wed 03-Feb-16 15:28:11

mine will be 2 yrs 9 mths apart, I was aiming for around 3 yrs. I didn't think I would be able to handle 2 under 2 but thats just me. If you feel you and your family are ready go for it.

I dont think there is any ideal age.

KatyN Wed 03-Feb-16 15:55:41

My are 4 years apart, when friends started having their seconds much earlier I was completely baffled by how they would cope!!
4 means me son understands when I say I can't play etc but it is a complete nightmare as he doesn't nap anymore!!

I'm not sure there is an ideal gap. K

Juanbablo Wed 03-Feb-16 16:45:50

I have 2yrs 4mths between the first two, it was a really good gap. Ds1 wasn't phased by dd's arrival and she just came along with us and fitted in to all our activities.

Then there is a week short of 4 years between dd and ds2. It was a bit more tricky, provably because I had 3 children and school/nursery runs to do.

daisydalrymple Wed 03-Feb-16 19:11:13

2 yrs between ds1 and dd, 5 & 7 yrs between them and ds2, sadly had a MMC or it would have been 3&5 yrs, which would have been my preferred. No ideal gap really, your body makes the choice for you and you will make your gap work for your family.

DragonboysMum Wed 03-Feb-16 19:46:02

There are 2 yrs 4 mths between DC1 and DC2, 14 yrs 7mths between DC2 and DC3, and will be 15 mths between DC3 and DC4!
I'm not sure if there is an ideal, everyone seems to cope differently. You'll know when the time's right I think.

KatharinaRosalie Wed 03-Feb-16 20:28:36

as small as possible for me - so they would have more in common hopefully. Big gap between me and my sister, and I was more of a babysitter than a friend. mine are 2 years and 1 day apart, was planning for a smaller gap but DC2 took a while.

caitlinohara Wed 03-Feb-16 21:25:32

Don't leave it too long! You don't know how easy or otherwise it will be so might not happen straightaway smile

2.2 between my two eldest, first year was really tough but I am so glad I didn't wait longer. They are great friends now.

bebo100 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:48:34

Just over 2 years between my 2 boys. Think / hope they're going to be great friends as they get older.
Pregnancy was really tough going though, I was very ill, and not being able to make it out of the house with a 2 year old meant he was climbing the wall.
Second is just turning 6 months and a bit more predictable now, in terms of routine. But I've had to rely on CBeebies a lot more than I wanted with the toddler.
So all in all I can totally understand why people go for a bigger gap. Pros and cons to every gap, and as other posters have said, your body often decides for itself, so your 'plans' may go out of the window anyway.

Topsy34 Wed 03-Feb-16 21:53:24

6.5 years between my children. No way would i want 2 close together, I love that my first has grown up a little and he wants to help, and that he isnt totally reliant on me for help with little things (toilet, wash hands, get a drink)

imwithspud Wed 03-Feb-16 23:04:29

We have a 2.5 year age gap which I think will be nice in the future. I hope that they will get to an age where they can play together without there being too many obstacles in the way in terms of communication and development stages. Obviously not expecting them to get on all the time but if they could play together every now and again that would be greatgrin

Scoopmuckdizzy Wed 03-Feb-16 23:10:56

17 months between my first two- it's been fab. There'll be 2.5 years between DC2&3 which I'm a bit wary of but I'm sure we'll cope! DS1 was a dream at 17 months though- when DS2 was that age I couldn't imagine him being as accepting as his big brother was!

KatharinaRosalie Thu 04-Feb-16 10:06:13

Here's a list of pros and cons for various gaps
www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html

KatharinaRosalie Thu 04-Feb-16 10:12:07

Oh and from our antenatal class, our of 7 couples, 5 decided to also have DC2. And they are all 2 years apart, all second ones were born within a few months. Very useful for playdates.

longestlurkerever Thu 04-Feb-16 10:14:32

I have nearly 4 years between my two. This wasn't planned but my "ideal" of 2.5 years proved elusive. The practical pros of a bigger gap are obvious and have meant I've been able to indulge in baby groups etc again while Dd1 is at school. Cons are that they won't be into the same stuff for quite a while and going back to square 1 on the sleep etc has been tough. On the other hand I've come to terms with the fact that sibling relationships can be different to what I imagined and still just as good. She has plenty of playmates but only one sister. It's also good that they're not constant rivals for the same toys and type of attention. This might help their relationship too. I think there's no ideal. A family is what you make of it.

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