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Fearful when child is with other parent?

(5 Posts)
tessie31082 Sun 24-Jan-16 22:54:59

hi all, just split today from ex-DP (7 weeks last October too and he hasn't changed hence why I chucked him out today)!
Anyway this happened last time and now it's happening again tonight, I am horrendously crying and thinking the worst things about when ex-DP has DS (nearly 3) and the whole discipline thing.
When I was pregnant and since DS has been born I have instilled a no smacking, man handling policy. Ex-DP has hardly any patience and has lost his temper once or twice (pushed DS not hard but hard enough for him to hit leg on sofa - I saw through door and we had an almighty row), has smacked him lightly on his bum so no mark left (again we had words), also, he quite often says 'right, you can go to bed and stay there' literally over things you'd expect a 3 yo to do and not because he's been naughty. He also doesn't explain anything like why what he has done is naughty, not nice etc.
I am just so fearful (and probably over-reacting) that he will smack/man-handle/send him to bed over the slightest thing when he has him by himself! It fills me with dread just thinking about the day this will happen - not too long in the future I guess.
How do you cope, does it cross your mind, am I mad?
Sorry for the long post and I wasn't sure where to post either!

ArchiesMamaBird Sun 24-Jan-16 23:15:20

You poor thing. This nearly made me well up just reading it. I have nothing helpful to add I'm afraid, just didn't want to read and run. thanks for you x

tessie31082 Mon 25-Jan-16 12:01:11

Thank You x don't know if I'm being unreasonable or whether this is something other parents feel or think about x DS is so good and quite outgoing but needs reassuring quite often. I'm sure he'd come home and tell me if Daddy had been mean or smacked / pushed him but worried if he didn't and I never knew or if he did what I would do!

eyebrowse Mon 25-Jan-16 12:06:34

If you are really concerned you can arrange contact through a contact centre so that he is not alone with a small child

VoldysGoneMouldy Mon 25-Jan-16 12:08:30

I wouldn't be leaving him alone with your son.

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