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Daughter won't stay with dad overnight

(9 Posts)
Lilfroggi1 Sun 24-Jan-16 09:33:48

Looking for advice please, my daughter is 8yrs old and doesn't want to stay overnight with her father we separated just over 4 months ago he left and it was his choice. She has stayed twice with him so far, he thinks we should force her to stay but I don't want want to force her to stay or am I being silly? I would rather her go and stay happily is there anything I can do to help the situation? As I want her to have a good relationship with him. Any advice welcome thanks

Cleensheetsandbedding Sun 24-Jan-16 09:35:57

I wouldn't force her to stay. I'd let her go and come back in the evening. It's supposed to be a happy relaxed time not stressing out because your missing home.

Everytimeref Sun 24-Jan-16 09:36:08

Has your daughter said why she doesnt want to stay?

Everytimeref Sun 24-Jan-16 09:37:35

Sorry posted to soon.
Google Annies story - over the bridge, it might help you understand what she is going through.

Lilfroggi1 Sun 24-Jan-16 10:57:24

Thanks for saying that cleansheatsandbedding that is what I think I just needed someone else to confirm it. Everytimeref not really other than she is not ready yet, and apparently ex and his mum had told her that I might be going out and wouldn't be at home and that had upset her, she is happy enough when I go out and my mum has her but I suppose she does know that I'm coming home. Also she never really liked staying away from home, I will read Annie's story thank you

MrsJayy Sun 24-Jan-16 11:03:45

Id build up to staying over night it could take months but surely her comfort is much more important than her dads wants he can drop her home near bedtime so she can have a nice time with dad but knows she is coming home to her own bed its only been 16 weeks since he left that has to affect everybody especially her.

Lilfroggi1 Sun 24-Jan-16 11:26:36

I know I agree, but he thinks I am making it awkward for him which I am not I'm still very hurt with the situation so I can't imagine how she is feeling she seems to be coping very well in day to day things but I have tried to explain to him that he hasn't just left me he has left her too, and he didn't do loads with her before as he was working and had some hobbies but he thinks she should be happy to stay and be with him

HBSBeeches Sun 24-Jan-16 19:50:31

Hello! I was forced and holidays too. It was horrible. I don't blame my mother because she is a weak character in that respect but I remember how upset I was. Stick to your guns and let your girl decide.

Alanna1 Sun 24-Jan-16 20:00:48

If you have the money, I'd involve an independent family therapist. It may help your daughter understand her feelings, and your ex accept these things take time, and you both to have some independent input that focuses you both on her best interests.

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