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do all schools do this

(15 Posts)
Bedsheets4knickers Thu 21-Jan-16 17:45:44

Ds started reception in September . At 3pm we all have stand on the playground behind a line and wait for our children . Twice I've been stood talking to other mums and his teacher has come over and told me about what an horrendous day she's had with my son .. It's so embarrassing . Today I actually felt the awkwardness as mums moved away to try and give us some privacy . Is this the norm ??

ArkATerre Thu 21-Jan-16 17:47:52

No, the teacher should take you to one side, or even into the classroom for a quiet word about behavioural issues etc.
Can you ask next time if you can step aside away from the other parents?

Bedsheets4knickers Thu 21-Jan-16 17:54:36

Yes I will , I wasn't sure if it was some sort of strategy to kick parents into having a stern word with their child . It's not just me . I've seen it done to others . And I understand why she wanted to speak to me ds has been a handful since coming home . I could just do without the added shame

ArkATerre Thu 21-Jan-16 19:16:31

The other Mums probably feel the same and that's why they move away as much as they can. Do try to be assertive about this if you can - it's not the norm and it's not good practice. Hard to concentrate on issues when you are stood outside with your DC and other parents around you too.

SqueegyBeckinheim Thu 21-Jan-16 19:27:45

Ours does, when the teacher comes striding purposefully out everyone looks around nervously wondering if it was their child today - until the teacher reaches her intended parent. Then all the parents shuffle away from whoever the teacher has singled out in a vague attempt to get out of earshot. God knows why they do it like that, it's horrible for the parent whose child is the one that's been playing up that day.

Iwantakitchen Thu 21-Jan-16 19:32:19

Our school does too. I don't like it, but can see why teachers want to get the parents there and then for efficiency.

Only1scoop Thu 21-Jan-16 19:34:48

At reception at dd old school they used to do this.

I was completely shock felt sorry for the mums of the same boys everyday who were 'spirited' and got into trouble.

When dd started I as you did wondered if this was the norm. I believe in differing degrees it is.

wickedwaterwitch Thu 21-Jan-16 19:36:10

It's inappropriate, unprofessional and no, most schools do not do this.

Lurkedforever1 Thu 21-Jan-16 19:39:32

I don't recall it ever happening at dds school. Even end of y6 when dd had been entirely innocent but on the receiving end of a classmates pretty serious behavior issues, they still told the other kids mum in private from me, let alone the school.

Just a thought but are they actually seriously saying they've had a horrendous day with him, or are you perhaps taking it to heart too much when they're just sharing the usual stuff that most kids do at some point? Although if that's the case you'd think they'd be relating the good stuff too.

Only1scoop Thu 21-Jan-16 19:39:51

Dd current pre prep would never do this.

I was shocked as you were Op and asked friends with other DC at other reception classes and it seemed quite common.

megletthesecond Thu 21-Jan-16 19:41:29

No. The dc's school has never done this. If the teachers want to speak to a parent I assume it must be done privately because I've never seen them going up to certain parents for a chat.

RueDeWakening Thu 21-Jan-16 19:43:29

I had this today, from DS1's teacher. Although she did say "can I have a word" then waited until most of the other kids had been collected. There were still 3 or 4 parents close enough to hear.

KyloRenNeedsTherapy Thu 21-Jan-16 19:43:59

I would need to go out into the playground to grab a parent but certainly wouldn't talk to them in front of all the other parents! It is tricky because I can see all the other parents looking sometimes, but I try and keep it light hearted and, tbf, it's not always about bad behaviour - it can be an injury, or friendship fall out or a whole host of things I need to speak to parents about at the end of the day.

Definitely needs to be done in private though.

lljkk Thu 21-Jan-16 19:51:14

I guess my school does this but I don't notice or find it awkward.
It's really too busy for me to notice who is having a word or not.

Bedsheets4knickers Thu 21-Jan-16 20:30:20

Well if it happens again il make a point of stepping aside when I know it's me she's coming to then maybe she will see I want it private . I like his teacher , I can see how under strain they are . It's more the people I'm stood talking to are only people I've just met and it's embarrassing to be slammed Infront of strangers x

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