Advice needed for the most loo-resistant child ever...

[fourlegstwolegs]

My son is just 3. We tried potty training back in the summer, going cold turkey and putting him on the potty every 15 mins. After several days we gave up as he wasn't interested and would just pee on the floor or in his pants and not really care. I was using a star chart but he wasn't interested.
I left it for a few months and tried again about 8 weeks ago, using a different approach of pull-ups and bribery (chocolate button for doing a pee, a biscuit for doing a poo).
Its not working! He can't be bothered to tell me when he wants a pee, telling me only once he actually is peeing in the pull up. He will generally pee on the loo first thing, and loves all the praise he gets and his face lights up. However I can generally not get him to pee on it during the day, he either insists on getting off or won't get on in the first place.

However - the really big issue is doing a poo. We have yet to manage that on the loo. I am careful to sit with him and encourage him, but he just won't do it. He then gets more and more upset, and will spend 3-4 hours whimpering, shuffling about, saying his tummy hurts, crying, getting up and down and then finally doing a poo in the pull-up, standing up. I tried putting him in pants and the same thing happens.
He then bursts into tears and is distraught that he has done it in the nappy and not the loo.

Its ruining the days as he spends so many hours in a total state, needing to poo, saying he wants to do it on the loo but then not.

I don't know what to do....

[fourlegstwolegs]

Has anyone else had this? It's really affecting him - he gets so distressed about pooing. Help!

[teacher54321]

Ds is 3.9 and is completely wee trained, but we've had massive issues with poo... He still poos in a pull up, we had problems with withholding which was honestly the worst three months of my parenting life. He was on movicol and would have three or four accidents a day-was awful. However it has stabilised to pooing every night in his pull up before he goes to bed, and we've only had one accident since July with that routine (was this week when he was poorly) the Eric website has some useful stuff on there. We've tried mega bribery and it works for the very short term and then back to square one. Problem is that I am not strong enough to go cold turkey on the pull ups as the withholding was so awful... So no advice, but solidarity!