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Have I made the wrong choice, going ahead with son's surgery. [Title edited by MNHQ]

(34 Posts)
hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:07:50

Sorry for the attention grabbing subject line - but this is truly how I'm feeling at the moment!

My 8 year old went into hospital for grommets in, adonoids out, before Christmas. It went well but it was stressful due to a few issues. He had 2 weeks off school which he enjoyed, although it was difficult to get him to do any school work. To be honest I thought, it's end of term, he's had surgery etc don't worry.

Had Christmas all was fine however I was starting to notice some real attitude issues and he hadn't slept well since the op.

Since returning to school his focus and attention is shockingly non existent. His school work is terrible. His teacher has been quite positive though so wasn't too worried until I saw his books this week. They were terrible. Partly to do with the school, a lot to do with his terrible focus!! We are now bringing his books home every week to go over what he's done.....

I'm massively worried. He is rude, cross and so gobby! He's a totally different child to the boy with hearing aids post op. 😢😢😢😢

Any thoughts gratefully received.

AnyFucker Sat 16-Jan-16 20:11:47

What's that got to do with the hospital ?

I know you wanted to grab attention but why diss the surgical team that have sorted out his medical problem ?

Out of order

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:13:25

I haven't

Mammabear31 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:13:28



Palomb Sat 16-Jan-16 20:14:13

I doubt this has anything to do with the surgery itself and everything to do with the fact that he can hear properly and is now struggling to manage all the distractions.

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:14:13

But anaesthetics and surgery can cause children stress. I'm asking for advice.

bendybootpumpkinpatch Sat 16-Jan-16 20:14:20

i think you meant " has being in hospital ruined my son?" surely.
Your op description is not the fault of the hospital! !

bendybootpumpkinpatch Sat 16-Jan-16 20:15:34

What palomb said. With bells on

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:15:42

Palomb - I agree, but did think by now things would have settled?

canyou Sat 16-Jan-16 20:16:53

His hearing has changed sound has changed and the pitches he hears have changed. That must be distracting what is the diffence/improvement that the Dr said he could expect?, he had 4 weeks off that will not help re his attention he may just need time to refocos and at 8 they can become hormonal cranky cheeky chaps.

Palomb Sat 16-Jan-16 20:16:57

My DD had the same surgery when she was 8 and it took a while.

SandunesAndRainclouds Sat 16-Jan-16 20:17:22

I agree with Palomb

I doubt it's the surgery that's caused distress, more likely to be sensory overload.

Have you asked him if he feels different / if he's ok?

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 20:17:37

Agree with palomb. He needs to adjust to the sounds around him and learn to filter out background noises. Could you perhaps be looking back with rose coloured specs, did you indulge poor behaviour previously on the basis that he couldn't hear and was having an op.

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:18:30

He was massively stressed for 5 hours before the surgery because the anaesthetic cream reacted to his skin and they couldn't use it. Sadly the nurse wasn't at all reassuring to him about what would happen in theatre.

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:19:55

Great comments thank you.
Yes I think we probably have indulged his behaviour somewhat.

canyou Sat 16-Jan-16 20:20:25

He has only had a week/10 days back at school that is bit a lot of time to adjust to sound.
I would treat him as before consequnces for behaviour and praise for work well done. Talk to the teacher again and see what he is like at school. May I ask why the two weeks off school?

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:20:55

Can you - hormonal cranky cheeky chap is spot on!

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:21:58

He was due to have a week but had nose bleeds so we had a bit of backwards and forewords

SitsOnFence Sat 16-Jan-16 20:22:19

Maybe ask MNHQ to change the thread title?

You said that it was stressful and I'm wondering whether he could be upset as a result of what happened during his hospital stay?

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:22:35

It was also a bug germ filled month to be honest!

Katiebeau Sat 16-Jan-16 20:22:39

From experience of a child who had as stress free experience of grommets at 5 years old as possible she too really struggled with her new loud, distracting world.

She had been an excellent sleeper. For several weeks a bird chirp woke her!

School were great. It was nothing to do with op. It was living in a world of constant sounds she had never experienced before that lead to sensory overload (she asked me to switch it off on more than one occasion) and she was much stroppier than usual.

Give him time and understanding of his brand new super power!

LIZS Sat 16-Jan-16 20:23:47

He's relatively old for grommets, how long had he suffered hearing problems previously. If he appeared to cope after surgery and while off school, I doubt the issue of the cream etc has anything to do with it. Why did he take 2 weeks off school, most I've know had day surgery and a few days off school. Could you inadvertently be reinforcing negativity about this.

SignoraStronza Sat 16-Jan-16 20:29:16

I was told to keep 8 year old Dd off school and away from populated areas for two weeks after adenoidectomy/grommet insertion. Thankfully only had to miss a week as had a week of half term too.
She'd had the grommets in before, so wasn't prepared for this advice, but think it is to do with infection risk.
I too found that I had a stroppier child afterwards. I swear the snoring got worse too, before finally settling down. Could your ds be having lest restful sleep following the op?

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:30:53

Katiebeau that's so helpful thank you.

Liza - adonoids is a week off

hugsarealwaysneededhere1 Sat 16-Jan-16 20:31:37

He had worn hearing aids for 5 years

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