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HOur household id dad 2 teen boys and 3.5-Y-O girl - rules/guidelines about nudity....

(7 Posts)
ESSAH71 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:56:02

Hi - I have a slightly awkward first post, and would be grateful for your commentary;

I am a single dad andmy 3 children live with (only) me for half of their time (boys 15 & 12 and a girl, 3 1/2). The boys have a different mother to my daughter. I have two related questions.

The first is that my daughter likes sleeping in my bed (as did the boys when they were her age). I wait for her to fall asleep in her own room after story-time but she invariably comes and climbs into my bed in the middle of the night. We are coming to the point when of course that's not going to be alright any more and I am wondering what strategies I might adopt, short of walking her back to her room each time when crawls into my bed?

The second, related issue revolves around bodies in general. Up to now I haven't had any issue with her seeing me step out of the shower for example, or the boys brushing their teeth while she is in the bath - my girl's mother doesn't think that any form of nakedness of any description is allowable, I disagree, because the boys are her (half) brothers and she is only just short of 4, but I can't quite see where 'we're family' ends and where boundaries need to begin. My daughter knows that there are mechanical differences between boys and girls and has the predictable euphemisms.....

ESSAH71 Wed 13-Jan-16 11:57:27

sorry for the typos/sloppy proof-reading. I can't find the edit button either....:-)

SevenSeconds Wed 13-Jan-16 12:40:55

Personally, when she is 3, I wouldn't have issues with any of the behaviours you describe.

However, if her mum disagrees, I think you need to respect that, as it is a topic that people have differing opinions on. It's easy enough for you to lock the door while you're in the shower and ask your DSs not to go into the bathroom while she's in the bath.

The sleeping thing is harder. Personally, as I say, I'd have no problems with it (assuming you don't sleep nude!) but if her mum thinks it is inappropriate then I guess you need to start taking her back to bed when it happens. She'll get the picture soon enough!

Bubbletree4 Wed 13-Jan-16 12:48:29

Well it's fine for a 3yo to climb into bed with her dad. My 7yo dd turfed me out of the bed in the middle of the night and got in with my dh (her dad) so I had to go to dd's room. (She woke up scared). If 3yos mum has an issue with this, I'd get a cheap extra toddler bed from ikea and put it in your room so your dd can get into that if she wakes up scared or whatever.

Again a girl seeing her dad naked isn't an issue when she's 3, but if it's upsetting her mum you could just put some tshirt/boxers on quickly to avoid it.

3yos themselves do run around naked etc but you could just shove a tshirt over her head to keep the peace.

BoboChic Wed 13-Jan-16 12:53:22

My DD is 11 and still sleeps with DP (her father) whenever there is an opportunity to do so i.e. when I am away or they are on holiday without me. And DP walks around naked for all to see... DD has also seen her half-brothers naked since she was a baby and has watched them through puberty.

I think you can relax, OP.

Dinobab Wed 13-Jan-16 13:01:36

My (then teen) brothers and I used to have to take it in turns to bath our little sister/watch whilst in the bath when a bit older until she was about 5 or 6 or whatever age it is when you can leave them in the bath on their own, was fine i
never thought anything of it.
I also definitely don't thinks there's anything wrong with her sleeping in your bed, you're her dad it's fine for as long as she wants to surely? What could the problem with that even be?
I don't agree that the mum gets to decide this.. He's her dad and is just doing the normal things? DP is only 2 but I have no choice but to be naked around him when I'm trying to shower and get dressed and he's following me about etc I've never even though about it until now

ESSAH71 Wed 13-Jan-16 13:07:36

Thank you for your kind responses

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