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two year old gone into meltdown at birth of sister

(9 Posts)
annapea Tue 19-Dec-06 10:53:45

I have a two year old boy and a two month old girl. My DS has gone into complete meltdown. He was sleeping through the night until a couple of weeks ago but now wakes up at least 4 times a night, he has a hideous cough and cold, has molars coming and has a new sister to deal with all at once. We never go more than half an hour without some kind of tantrum, usually for no obvious reason. I am trying to keep my screams inside but am really struggling. He won't sit still long enough to read a book and cbeebies is on all the time. Have resorted to kiddy sedative at night for the last two nights just to try and break his routine of waking. Any advice/support really appreciated

annapea Tue 19-Dec-06 10:55:08

forgot to say, when I try cuddles and calmness, he rejects me. it's very hurtful

Nemoinapeartree Tue 19-Dec-06 10:59:22

are you overdoing the attention??I only ask as when DD was born I gave DS loads more attention to try to compensate and ended up back firing his behaviour was horrendous. Plus if he has molars coming through they in themselves lead to the waking up and the tantrums.

KTreePee Tue 19-Dec-06 11:03:22

Firstly, don't worry about cbeebies being on all the time, it won't kill him or harm him and you have to what you have to do to get though this stage (especially now the weather is cold and you can't have the baby outside for long...)

However, he probably needs some exercise every day - which might help him sleep better. Could you go to a soft play with a friend or a toddler group? Also how about having a friend over who has a child the same age - then your son will have someone to play with and won't be bored.

Only advice I can give is to give him as much attention as possible during the day, try to involve him with the baby (passing nappies, etc when you are changing her), tell him how babies cry because they can't talk, etc.

Also don't be afraid to discipline him if he is playing up - the baby is here to stay and you can only make allowances for bad behaviour for so long...

Luckily when ds2 was born ds1 had started at a playgroup 3 mornings a week so I didn't have to deal with them both 100% of the time - would definitely recommend you put your son's name down for a playgroup for when he is a bit older (usually can start at 2.5)

incy Tue 19-Dec-06 11:57:23

This is probably no help but my DS aged 2. 2 is exactly the same - cough, molars, up all night, massive tantrums all day long. And there is no baby so perhaps you are being too hard on yourself that his behavior is down to your new baby. Chances are that this would be happening anyway.

Agree totally with soft play/ few nursery sessions if you can afford it.

You have my sympathithys - this stage is bad enough when pregnant - let alone with a new baby !!!!

willow2 Tue 19-Dec-06 12:01:11

There's a free magazine called Your Family which you can pick up in Early Learning Centres. Picked one up yesterday and, by chance, there's an article on how to cope with just this problem. Don't have time to give you all the information, but might be worth getting a copy.

Jackie2kids Tue 19-Dec-06 12:29:18

I sympathesis too. I had all this trouble last year (DS was 20mnths when DD was born). I agree that much of his behaviour is probrably normal for 2 yr old as my DDis now 20 mnths and going through much of the same thing. I coped by giving him loads of attention when possible and getting help from DH and other family to give me time with the baby. Agree that regular play group or time with other family members is really helpful. Unfortunately our sleep routine went out of the window. I slept with DD in spare bed and DH slept with DS for part (most) of every night last year, the only way to get any sleep at all. Now its so much better DS (3) and DD(20mnths)get on great play together etc. Still dont sleep though. J

ellanatal Tue 19-Dec-06 13:57:57

Annapea- can i make you feel better and tell you it gets easier! i was reading your post thinking it all sounded sooooo familier! just be firm with your ds - there's only so long you can blame the baby for all his behaviour. We gave our ds1 medised every night for weeks while his molars were coming through but once they were all through we got tough on the sleeptimes! thankfully it only took a few nights - its hard enough with the lack of sleep with a 2 month old never mind your ds as well!
All 2 year olds play up in the day but just keep to your rules - your not being cruel in controlling his tantrums - its more cruel to let him be confused about what he can and cannot do!
Keep posting - i hope things get better for you all!

thumbsucker Fri 20-Jul-07 21:21:56

Ellanatal, thank you for this. In fact, thanks everyone for all your support. I'm not even sure anyone will read this as it was such a long time ago (well, in babyland). I have just posted another new thread, and the problems are different now. both are sleeping through (well, till 5.30 ish) so things are better at night anyway.

thanks again

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