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(Just) 3 year old getting dressed

(8 Posts)
BabySocks Mon 04-Jan-16 09:27:15

Hello, this is a silly problem really but I get v stressed every morning and would appreciate some thoughts.

In the morning my son comes in to me, we have a snuggle and a book then we get dressed before going down to breakfast. I used to dress him which took some jollying but was ok. For the last 3 months or so I have been trying to make him be more independent with varying success. ..

Basically he can get dressed himself with minor help but doesn't want to. When I now try to do bits to help him he does nothing (won't push arms through top without crying etc) and if I try to make him puthis pants on himself (for example) he will purposely put things on wrong. I end up cajoling and fighting every step of the way, him in tears, me feeling v annoyed etc. Help!!!

It all needs doing reasonably quickly as we have to be out the house for nursery and work. I allow about 15/20 minutes. I could set the alarm for earlier but it seems a bit OTT and I just think it would drag on longer.

Alternatively I could just get him completely dressed myself but it seems a step back and I wanted to encourage him to be more independent?

Thoughts welcome please, it is a horrible start to the day!

KatyN Mon 04-Jan-16 12:23:03

My son is just four and needs cajoling to dress himself. Every morning he says he can't do it.
We persevere because hems that bit older and he needs to be ready for school in September. Sometimes we race to get dressed but other times we just leave him till his pants and trousers are on. If he gets it wrong I tend to leave it.. No one really minds if his trousers are back to front!

You could always leave it a couple of months and try again.

delilabell Mon 04-Jan-16 12:27:56

We take it in turns. Ds does pants, I do socks, he does trousers etc. But he is the same about it. More than capable but far easier for someone else to dress you smile

steppemum Mon 04-Jan-16 12:37:57

My dd (who is now 8, and youngest of 3) would be delighted if I got her dressed every day. She hates dressing herself and has always fought against it. She still claims that school socks are 'too hard'' for her to do herself.

I have tried making it into a game, a race (that works quite well), being the cheerleader (Yayyyy one sock on whoop whoop) sticker charts, consequences, and threats to take her to school in her knickers.

I think he is quite little, so how about chose one item of clothing he can do, and then do the rest, so I would get him to do either pants or jumper, and make a big fuss of how grown-up etc. Then in a few months add another easy one, eg trousers, until he is doing it.

I think some kids like the physical contact, so a big snuggly hug once he is dressed as a 'reward' might help.

MoonDuke Mon 04-Jan-16 12:38:05

DS1 is 4.3 and until very recently refused point blank to get himself dressed or undressed except for his coat and shoes. He is capable just didn't want to (and as he would happily run around naked there was no incentive)

So we've been dressing him.

His younger brother though, at 18 months, has started undressing himself and trying to dress himself! So I think it's quite dependent on the individual child...

DS1 has now started to do bits by himself, especially with a lot of praise whenever he manages to do something (mad jumping in the air and clapping when he got undressed and put his pyjamas on springs to mind - worked wonders!)

We just left it. I've got other battles to fight to be honest and it hasn't stopped DS1 being independent in other areas. Or eventually being able to do it all by himself.

steppemum Mon 04-Jan-16 12:39:40

Oh and with all 3 of mine, that first term in reception? by about end of October I was seriously helping them to get dressed, tiredness etc was just overwhelming and it was a way for them to be a bit little when they were having to be very grown up all day long. Then in January didn't need to any more.

BabySocks Mon 04-Jan-16 13:32:33

Ok thank you, I have been reading some old threads as well and it seems I need to help more and maybe be a bit silly about it too smile
Replies much appreciated, I feel like I can be a bit more positive tomorrow and hopefully we won't all end up in tears! !

Scattymum101 Tue 05-Jan-16 00:02:05

Oh we went through this phase at the same age. Drove me demented but she came out of it thank god.

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