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Daddy issues!

(10 Posts)
kaia2014 Sun 03-Jan-16 12:09:43

Hi, my OH and I have an 11 week old little girl - first time parents. He has never had much time at home as he is self employed. Near enough every time he picks her up she starts crying. If she is already crying and he picks her up to comfort her it only seems to aggravate her and she cries hysterically! He is getting really upset thinking she doesn't like him and is not wanting to pick her up not to make her cry. I am also getting a little desperate as it is horrible to witness all the crying and very difficult to get her to calm down afterwards. Any ideas/suggestions on how to get her to love daddy's cuddles please?

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sun 03-Jan-16 12:11:39

Go out and leave him to it. May take a few attempts, but all the time you're there to interfere help, its not going to get any easier for DH.

DawnMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 04-Jan-16 19:08:26

Hi, we're moving this thread over to our Parenting topic so the OP can get some more advice and support.

MintyBojingles Mon 04-Jan-16 20:20:38

Teach him to delay and preserve. Not to freak out and feel stressed when she starts to cry. Tell him to try singing one of his favourite songs to her, to snuggle her close and just keep trying. What works for you when you settle her?

AntiHop Mon 04-Jan-16 20:59:27

Is she hungry when he picks her up? Keep persevering she will get used to him. You are all she's ever known.

DiscoSpider Mon 04-Jan-16 21:04:55

She's probably picking up on the fact he feels nervous about upsetting her. Babies are SO perceptive, he is probably holding her differently to how he would if he were relaxed. And of course she's most used to you.

It'll be fine soon,just keep trying. Relax, get him to relax.

RudeElf Mon 04-Jan-16 21:10:32

Are you breast feeding? If not have him give all the feeds that he is home for. Same with nappies and winding and bathing and putting to sleep.
If you are breastfeeding get into a habit of handing her to him straight after a feed to talk to her, sing to her, play etc.
have him do lots of skin to skin contact so she gets used to his smell and sounds.
Have you got a sling? He could try that too.

PennyHasNoSurname Mon 04-Jan-16 21:16:37

I think he needs to pick an activity and make that his and her thing. If she enjoys a bath, have him do bathtime every night that he is able. Leave them to it. Go into your bedroom and read/relax while he does it.

He has to learn how to comfort her and she has to learn how to be comforted by him.

If she likes the sling on a walk out, have him sling her evrry couple of days and go for a stroll.

RudeElf Mon 04-Jan-16 21:26:22

I think he needs to pick an activity and make that his and her thing

Yes and then Op can pick an activity and make that her and the baby's thing and someone else can do everything else?

Orrr, crazy idea, but he could just muck in and do it all as and when its needed just like her other parent has to.

PennyHasNoSurname Mon 04-Jan-16 21:59:45

That wasnt my point. Presumably he does muck in with it all, nothing in the OP suggests that.

My suggestion was that one of the Baby tasks that she enjoys he take sole charge of that. No Mammy Time. So he still does fair share of the nappies and the feeds and the whatever else.

But that a little bit of repetitive time is carved out each day that is solely them two

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