Please Help me to stop breastfeeding my bottle refuser(12 Posts)
Dd3 is 8 months, I really want to cut down feeding. Total bottle refuser, trying a cup daily but she just chews on the spouts, if I tip it she swallows a drop but then pushes it away. I want to reduce feeding and try night weaning.....how much dairy do they need and how do I get it in her? I know yoghurt etc, but how much?
Been googling and just want to hear someone's experience on how they did it, I need a plan that won't deprive her of her food but I need a break.
I tried my BF DS with all sorts of bottles from 4 months onwards and he was not interested at all.
He didn't have a bottle until he was 9 months old and that was only because I'd gone out for the night and left him with DH.
I think at 8/9 months, if they are hungry/thirsty enough then they will take it.
I returned to work at 10 months and he drank from a bottle fine by then as he was at a childminder's and sometimes I wasn't there for bedtime so he had no other choice.
What sort of foods does she like? Anything you can make up with extra milk?
I found breakfast an excellent opportunity as I mixed DS's weetabix up with 5oz of milk.
You don't want to hear this but she might just not be ready at 8 months. Mine were nearer 18 months before they night weaned. However, I did find that by around 8 months I could leave them with dh for a couple of hours and they would be ok without milk. Now at 13 months I have just left dd all day with dh for the first time. Have you tried leaving her with someone else you trust for a couple of hours? If you are still breastfeeding the majority of the time I wouldn't worry too much about dairy, in fact, I've avoided much dairy as it seems to make them constipated. While I was still breastfeeding I didn't replace dropped feeds with anything and they never took milk from a cup. I have four dc, they are all healthy and happy and good eaters. But their food intake at 8 months was negligible.
You could start by feeding morning, mid morning, mid afternoon and bedtime? Solid food at breakfast, lunch and dinner? That's how I started to move from feeding on demand and cut it down. That isn't to say that I haven't had a break, they seemed to manage ok without milk while I wasn't there. With my second, I went back to work when she was 9 months old, two days a week, and she didn't feed all day while I was gone, just fed before I dropped her off at nursery then again at pick up.
The only way I know to night wean is to get dh to get up to them. They associated me with milk too much and would get hysterical if I didn't feed them. They were much older though, as I said, more like 18 months than 8...I waited til they could understand "no milk until morning" and "you can have a cuddle now but milk later".
The other option is to continue feeds but switch to formula. I had to do this when I went back to work, she was such a bottle refuser it was all or nothing. It was very very hard and I am not sure i could've done it if I'd had a choice.
I had to just go cold turkey. No more BF. Constant offering of every make of cup/ bottle going. So much wasted expressed milk. After 3 days of hunger strike she gave in. Ironically a week later my milk dried up- she refused formula initially but went onto formula fairly easily in the end (took about 2 days I think)
She was a good eater so I was lucky in that respect but still, she would scream all night, her tummy rumbling and echoing because it was so empty. It was just horrible. It does of course work though. You really have to be totally committed with a bottle refuser. Make your decision and stick with it.
The other thing I should say is my daughter has continued to feed like a BF baby. She no longer night feeds but she did for a short time after I had stopped BF. I realised she was "drinking" for up to an hour or longer even, and only having 1 or 2 oz. Made me much more strict about feeds. I offered her more in the evening and she stopped. When I was BF I as convinced she was drinking the whole time
This might not be what you want to hear but ... I tried EVERYTHING to get my first dc to transfer from breast to bottle, because I was working. Baby refused. It was very stressful and time consuming expressing and denying feeds to make her hungry enough to try. In the end I decided to continue - simple breast feeding which was much better, even though I was driving an hour's round trip from work to feed her at nursery. Weaning happened naturally at just over 1 year. Enjoy your baby😀
Thank you all for your responses, Night weaning isn't my top priority yet but dh and I have a night away booked in March just before she is a year so we need to do something before then so my in laws and her don't have an awful night. I do want her cutting down the breastfeeding though, I have two other small children and they need some of my time too. I'm exhausted and ratty with my family. I need to enjoy all of my family.
I agree I need to pick a method and be committed to it, it's just trying to find an option that is the least upsetting to all. Writer....you give me hope that they can accept a bottle in the end!
I found a sippy cup like
Was perfect. He took to it well.
I got pretty desperate at 6 months when DS decided to bite down very hard with his sharp teeth onto anything that was put into his mouth (especially my breasts).
He was a bottle refuser too. He would just bite the top of a bottle which would make it slide around in his mouth and he didn't like it. But when I gave him Calpol (while teething) he would suck the syringe just fine because he couldnt bite it closed.
Anyway this is the strange bit, so in desperation I used a clean Calpol syringe to give him some milk, and squirted it into his mouth 5ml at a time, for an hour!
I only had to do that once, as next feed he took instantly to a sippy cup.
Watching with interest. DD is 9mo, she will take a few sips from a cup or about 50ml from a bottle but then just spits it out (same with water or food)
I want to stop BF for various reasons but am worried about her liquid intake, she often has dry lips as it is. (Not worried about hunger as she has masses of solids and is very chubby!) Also am worried about how I'd get her back to sleep at night without BF, she is not a great sleeper and wakes whenever she is teething or coldy
which seems to be all the time and BF is the quickest way back to sleep...
Is 50ml 4x a day enough? She also has milk in her morning porridge and yoghurt at tea, and a few sips of water with each meal.
Ophelia.....I will try that one, thank you, have already tried a number of bottles but giving that up as think a cup might be more realistic.
Minipie I have read they have around 500ml at this age but that doesn't include dairy from other sources, also maybe after a few days she will take more than the 50ml? My dd always seems constipated so worried less fluid will make it worse and she really doesn't drink more than a few drops of water. I also have the exact problem at night, night feeds are so quick and I can go straight back to sleep. Let me know if you find a solution!
Currently going through this for the second time at 5m due to returning to work and have gone down a different route each time.
DD1 I left with OH and my mum for the day when trying offering at each feed failed , she held out 6 hrs after she was due a feed before taking the bottle. Then it just seemed to click but I'd say she was never really a milk drinker and would have a couple of 4oz bottles at Nursery each day.
DD2 I would think we were getting somewhere and she'd take 5oz then the next feed completely refuse. She's too small really to get a full feed from a cup so HV advised to weaning early to 3 meals a day with BF at home (which would be 3 feeds, 1 morning and 2 evening/night). They need 500ml ideally which does include any milk in food.
I've been weaning onto food for 2 wks now and the funny thing is she has started to take a bottle which I have continued to offer either after food order between meals. Even though I give her water as its from a beaker I don't think she gets enough and is thirsty so takes the milk, only 3-4oz but with the other feeds and what's in her food I'm happy it's enough.
Hoping once she is taking the day bottles regularly we can then try and evening feed every now and then so I can go out without timing around her.
Good luck hope you find something that works.
Couple of specific things: At eight months your baby will need a much faster flow than a new born so check the teat is suitable. Secondly, when you put on the top don't tighten it as fast as it will go. Put it on and then loosen it a quarter turn. This means that the baby can suckle faster and you will actually hear some air going into the bottle to replace the formula being drunk. My father in law who is very old school actually taught me this tip and I was very impressed he knew it. Also just set yourself a short deadline day a week and offer less and less breast each day and more bottle. Good luck. I did this with dd at six months and my dp was thrilled to be able to do bottle feeds.
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