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Domestic violence and Socail Services

(87 Posts)
starplough Fri 01-Jan-16 20:11:26


Basically looking for some help or advice here.

Recently on boxing day me and my partner were at a family dinner and drinks.

After returning home an drunken argument started and the police were called, my partners sister was also in the house who took our 10 week son into another room whilst the police were in.

I was charged with a breach of the peace and domestic violence, after appearing at court I was realised on bail as long as I didn't contact or step foot in the property pending a court date further down the line, we have been advised that it will likely be thrown out of court.

Me and my partner are due to get married later on this year and this was the first time I had ever been given the jail for anything.

Since I cannot make contact with my partner her mother has advised me that social services are now going to get involved over something so daft.

My partner has already stated she did not want to press charges but was told the bail conditions need to stand, from anyone's experience or knowledge can you advise what is likely to happen regarding getting back with my partner and what would happen with our baby.

Any help would be greatly appreciated as you can imagine this is a very stressful time and do not know what to expect.

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm Fri 01-Jan-16 20:51:53

This will be referred to social services. Police have a policy of referring all domestic incidents to social services where a child under one was present. As you were charged without partner wanting to press charges, I would think that this was an incident of concern.

Social workers will under take an assessment to explore the risk posed to the children

Stop minimising the event and reflect on your behaviour. It's a stressful time of your own doing. My thoughts are with your partner and child

Wolfiefan Fri 01-Jan-16 20:56:35

You were given the jail for drunken violence in front of your 10 week old.
I hope for the sake of your child she doesn't marry you.

FlameProofBoots Fri 01-Jan-16 20:59:05

Stop minimising it for a start. You attacked your partner in front of your tiny baby. You sound dangerous.

LIZS Fri 01-Jan-16 21:01:39

Did your partner's sister witness this? Police can press charges without your partner agreeing. Unless you are able to accept and modify your behaviour you do risk not seeing her or the baby. Ss' priority will be the baby's safety and well being.

PotteringAlong Fri 01-Jan-16 21:02:36

Since I cannot make contact with my partner her mother has advised me that social services are now going to get involved over something so daft.

But it wasn't daft. It was drunken violence serious enough for the police to come and place you in custody. You need to take this seriously. Off course social services will be involved if your 10 week old was also present.

cuntycowfacemonkey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:03:12

I sincerely hope this "daft" incident is enough to make your partner walk away from this relationship.

starplough Fri 01-Jan-16 21:03:28

no I did not attack my partner that should not say domestic violence it was domestic abuse because there was raised voices swearing.

I am far from dangerous oi have never lifted my hand to a female before and not once have I ever been given the jail.

she was asked if she was scared around me answer was no she was asked if there had ever been any incidents like this before and the answer was no

Lexigrey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:05:29

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lexigrey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:07:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm Fri 01-Jan-16 21:07:22

STOP minimising! It was bad enough for some one to call police!! As a social worker your minimisation and attitude would be of great concern to me.

Your partner is likely to be scared and worried about the implications of speaking out. Social workers will be assessing the potential risk you pose and your partners ability to safeguard baby

Take the time apart to reflect on your terrible and frightening behaviour.

TenTinyTadpoles Fri 01-Jan-16 21:09:06

What is daft is that you thought it was appropriate and acceptable to violent towards another person. That is never, ever acceptable and you deserve whatever you get. My sympathies go to the woman who you were violent towards, I hope that she and her child have nothing more to do with you. People who abuse their partners are a waste of oxygen.

cuntycowfacemonkey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:09:30

Sorry but domestic abuse is also something to be taken very seriously, it goes beyond a bit of shouting and swearing.

starplough Fri 01-Jan-16 21:12:15

no not at all I was not threating at all, on the charge sheet I was accused of calling her a fucking physco and a horrible bitch with a drink in her, along with both swearing at each other.

the police have said it will likely be thrown out of court now if it was as bad as what some of the comments on here are making out would it be thrown out of court?

I agree there was rasised voices swearing and I accept that but to say that I seem like a dangerous man etc is bang out

LikeADivil Fri 01-Jan-16 21:12:50

It won't be thrown out of court. I don't know who advised you of that! If your hopefully now ex proceeds, you will be convicted. It will NOT be thrown out of court on the grounds of it being your 'first offence' first time getting caught
You might not get sent into jail THIS TIME though. this time
You dir** r**** .................... MN - PLEASE LET ME TELL IT LIKE IT IS

Thingsthatmakeugoummmm Fri 01-Jan-16 21:15:34

Unbelievable! I really hope that your 'partner' sees sense.

In my career, I've never heard police advising that the case will be thrown out of court!

LikeADivil Fri 01-Jan-16 21:15:58

To answer your question - Social Services will either

1. Ban you from the house
2. Not ban you from the house, but ban you from having contact with your child unsupervised
3. Neither of the above - but send you to an 'anger' management course.

ElfOnTheBoozeShelf Fri 01-Jan-16 21:16:39

Stop putting down what you did. If that is what you were charged with, it was obviously more than a bit of shouting. Abuse comes in verbal forms as well.

There is nothing daft about what is going on, and says everything that you still do not see the seriousness of your actions.

You are a stain on humanity, and I hope for the sake of your child and the woman you abused that they get far, far away from you.

Lexigrey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:17:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sharklasers Fri 01-Jan-16 21:17:44

You need to report the police officer who advised you it would be thrown out of court as they were seriously out of order to do that.

starplough Fri 01-Jan-16 21:18:11

it will not be getting thrown out of court because of ''first offence'' both her and her sister have advised the police one was as bad as the other the reason it would be getting thrown out is because no one wants to press charges or anything as this was a drunk argument where both parties were intoxicated.

she does not feel threatened never has and never will that was her exact words to the police after I was in court.

NerrSnerr Fri 01-Jan-16 21:19:03

Social services need to get involved to protect your child from witnessing this again.

PrimeDirective Fri 01-Jan-16 21:20:44

So you were charged for shouting and swearing?
Are there any details you are missing out here?
Did you throw anything, break anything, threaten anyone?

You don't get charged with domestic violence for shouting and swearing.
And what actions are you taking to get your anger under control?

starplough Fri 01-Jan-16 21:21:23

I was not told it would be getting thrown out of court, it was actually my fiancé who was told this by visiting police after I had appeared in court

Lexigrey Fri 01-Jan-16 21:22:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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