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my mother blames me for everything

(5 Posts)
frankiebuns Sat 26-Dec-15 21:12:24

I'm a 30 year old and have 2 children and tonight I'm at the end of my tether, ihave aa bladder infection and feel rubbish so have been glued to the loo until antibiotics kick in my husband and dad have been in charge and my mum picks up my daughter to find her swimming in poo and it's my fault a i wast in the room and she was clean when i checked and b this isn't the first time it's haopened. sHe then goes ott cleaning her up she hates my husband and rather i hadn't had married him 9 months ago she hates my parenting style her style Iis on the floor playing 24/7 mine Iis play if they want or they make up games together. I'm in floods of tears as i feel she's out to piss me off and when I do say ok u have them then as I'm not capable then she says no your a great mum. I love my mum don't et me wrong but feel I'm in for theflack as my mum wwon't tell my dad or hubby off

thelaundryfairy Sat 26-Dec-15 21:13:44

Oh dear. Hope your infection clears up quickly. Take care.

Can you tell your mother how you feel?

frankiebuns Sun 27-Dec-15 12:15:10

Thanks feel better today and shes at me again we are off out with mil for a meal and apparently i feed my kids boiling hot food and never check it huh i never do this im at my wits end! She doesnt trust me at all

UninventiveUsername Sun 27-Dec-15 17:20:17

I don't understand - you are ill and your husband and dad are supposed to be looking after the children, are doing a bad job and she is blaming you?

Firstly your husband should not be letting your child run around in a dirty nappy? Does he do much with the children normally or is it all left for you?

Secondly, can you spend less time with your parents? It sounds as though your mum is way too involved. Are you able to step back a bit from the relationship?

sugarplumfairy28 Wed 30-Dec-15 19:43:35

You are not alone! I actually live under the same roof as my mother, two different flats to be precise. My mother literally blames me for everything, whether that be her money trouble, something my Dad has or hasn't done, for having too much black rubbish, to where I park on the drive. With the children she is overbearing and undermines me whenever she gets the chance. She will offer DS a 'better' dinner to whatever I have literally just starting cooking, she calls me a liar and questions me in front of my children.

Having said that, and having thought about it and talked to others at great length, I can only believe it is because she cannot be seen to be right, and will deliberately take an opposing view in the vein hope that it will be a 'mum was right' situation. If you can try and talk to your mum before you end up like me and put your foot down with how you want to parent your children. If not you might end up like me, having to bite your tongue to preserve the peace while secretly planning on moving away and cutting all ties.

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