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6ry old lightfingered and now STEALING

(11 Posts)
worriedmumred Thu 17-Dec-15 14:37:34

dd doesnt want for much in this world, doesnt get spolied, but no gifts outside birthday/christmas, no pocket money but there are usually treats here and there.

shes no3 with two big brothers and has form for taking stuff from their room and hiding it in hers.

she also sneaks downstairs and helps herself to treats...the children always have to ask, and there has to be enough for everyone.
every so often she appears with small bits of money that she has taken from us, i mean 5 or 10p

she gets told off about taking things, and understands that its wrong and says it wont happen again.

the biggie:
yesterday she had the job of collecting money after nativity and came home with a pound coin that my h spotted
after some long story she said that it fell out and kept it, h took her back to school to hand in, they just said okay thanks and added it to the pot.

dad gave her a calm lecture and at bedtime, i said not only was it wrong to steal, but the fact that she was being trusted was very low of her to take it.
i always want my children to tell the truth and she did...eventually, but i really want to make a bigger impact as she was fine this woe, but i said that she cant be trusted with any money until she proves that she is mature enough and if she is found with any money again she will be in serious trouble.

any suggestions about what i should have done....i felt like going nuts at her but i want to hang on to her telling me what happens

shes nearly 7 so not just 6, im so dissapointed in her, and have not had this issue with the boys

Whoknewitcouldbeso Thu 17-Dec-15 14:43:07

I think youve handled it really well actually. I don't think there is any need to do anything else.

I think stealing is one of those milestones actually. I'm ridiculously honest and moral as an adult but when I was about the same age I can remember taking coins from my Dads bureau and spending the odd 50p on chocolate and crisps. I did it for quite a while and I don't remember ever getting found out. I knew it was wrong but I still did it! It hasn't shaped me as a person and had no bearing on the person I became. So don't get too hysterical about it and started catastrophising that she will end up in prison or something.

WoodHeaven Thu 17-Dec-15 14:43:15

I can't see any issues with the taking treats from the cupboard etc.
Hidding things from his siblings I would see as been mean/a way to get at them/jealous towards them.

The pound from school. Tbh I wouldn't make a huge thing out if it. You e asked her to give it back. You've explained to her why it's wrong. What else do youve if t her to do that its wrong for her to act normally now?
Do you want her to look miserable fur a few days as a way to show how bad she feels to have taken a pound?

IMO it has been dealt with. Time to move on.

As for trusting her with money. Maybe the answer is to give her some pocket money so she has done herself as them teach her 1- the value of money and 2- hiw to look after it?

worriedmumred Thu 17-Dec-15 14:49:11

the taking treats is after bedtime! grin thats def not on! i think perhaps i do want her to be a bit miserable as taking money from a collection pot is really low and its now forgotten about.....i dont know!
thanks for your replys!

WoodHeaven Thu 17-Dec-15 15:42:17

She is only 6yo and have no concept of money. How do want her to realise all that?

Besides, the whole point of 'punishment' or correcting what you have done (bringing the money back) is to be able to draw a line u see it and move on smile

goodnightdarthvader1 Thu 17-Dec-15 18:19:58

She is only 6yo and have no concept of money. How do want her to realise all that?

At what age does a child begin to have a concept of money?

Artandco Thu 17-Dec-15 18:29:40

I would give her pocket money to allow her to save and have something that is hers. My 5 year old understands money and has been getting pocket money a while. He mainly saves it and buys books or magazines.

Why is she taking stuff in the evening? Is she actually hungry? Is dinner too early? Can you introduce a bedtime snack? Some warm milk and banana or plain biscuit maybe

OTiTO Thu 17-Dec-15 18:36:20

I'd be worried there was something wrong if a 6 year old didn't realize taking money was wrong confused. The OPs DD obviously did realize it was wrong otherwise she wouldn't have been sneaky about it.

I think it was handled well. I think I'd have another talk to her about it and see how she responds. I'd make it clear there would be big consequences if she does it again.

I'd be very cross about the stealing of snacks. That's naughty and greedy.

scarednoob Fri 18-Dec-15 10:07:29

When I was about 7, I desperately wanted a lipstick, but of course wasn't allowed one. So I pocketed one at the chemist. I was so stupid that I pocketed the skanky tester one!

When my mum found it, she took me back to the chemist and made me explain to the cashier that I had taken it and I was very sorry. The look that nice lady gave me as she took it back haunted me, and to this day I am so paranoid/moral about it that I always rush to tell restaurants if they have forgotten something on the bill etc etc! It also made sure I stayed well out of it when it was briefly cool to try and nick stuff as a teenager.

Hopefully you won't need to do it again, but if you do, that might work?

amarmai Fri 18-Dec-15 21:04:10

when do you plan to start an almost 7 year old with pocket money?

SoWhite Fri 18-Dec-15 21:16:11

At what age does a child begin to have a concept of money?

In my own experience, when they earn it themselves and have to pay bills.

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