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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

my 5 week old dd won't let me put her down...any advice

29 replies

MoJo1002 · 10/12/2015 18:13

Hi all

If My 5 week old DD is awake and I need to put her down she cries, I can't get anything done and it's frustrating, but I hate leaving her to cry so I pick her up again. I know that is not helping the situation. Does anyone have any advice on what I can do?

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ISaySteadyOn · 10/12/2015 18:16

I would recommend getting a sling if you can. Then your hands are free and you don't need to put her down. She wants to be close to you because she is only 5 weeks old and you are her mummy, she knows all your sounds and feels more secure close to you. This is normal btw.

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srslylikeomg · 10/12/2015 18:19

Yep I hear you! I have had three of these babies that will not be put down its a pain! Lovely but a pain. My hard won advice: get a sling, a good one. Put the baby in it. Do what you can. Invite people over who like holding babies so you get a rest. Try to resist killing people who say "you can put them down you know!" Try to enjoy this very very short time in the babies life. It'll pass. Good luck!

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srslylikeomg · 10/12/2015 18:23

Also at five weeks definitely don't leave the baby to cry! Of course you can't bear it. Maybe read about attachment parenting from Dr Sears it helped me understand how the baby might be feeling. And that this was totally normal.

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MadgeMak · 10/12/2015 18:23

This is totally normal, my advice is to go with it and don't listen to anyone who says you are making a rod for your own back, you will have a much less stressful time if you follow your baby's lead. I didn't go with it with my first which resulted in much unhappiness (for us both), with my second I got a stretchy sling which he more or less lived in. He was happy and content, I was happy and hands free so able to carry on life as normal. Win win.

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RuckingMarvellous · 10/12/2015 18:24

Google the fourth trimester and definitely buy a sling.

Best wishes

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ImperialBlether · 10/12/2015 18:26

Lucky you with a new baby!

I had one of those. He's 23 now and living away from home but still calls a few times a week and is happiest when he knows where I am! It seems to go on forever, but it really doesn't. Get a sling and think of it as a phase in her life that she'll grow out of.

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vichill · 10/12/2015 18:35

Yes to a sling. But stretchys aren't great for bigger babies so research something like a mei tai or connecta when it starts getting uncomfortable and she's not adequately supported. Don't feel guilty about not putting her down. She has an instinct to protest when she doesn't feel safe and to her your chest is her safe place.

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ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 10/12/2015 18:37

Sling, and patience. This is normal. It will pass.

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CityDweller · 10/12/2015 19:19

Sling. Netflix. Good book. Chocolate. Enjoy newborn snuggles. Good luck!

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cornishglos · 10/12/2015 19:36

I've got a 5 week old who likes to be held too. I also have a sling. Now I have backache. Books and films sound like fun. But I also have a toddler...

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NeedsAMousekatool · 10/12/2015 19:40

A good sling shouldn't give you backache. I still carry my hefty 17 month old sometimes. You can get a Close Caboo for about £30 second hand, they're like a stretchy wrap but pre tied so easier.

My DD never wanted putting down, now the little horror runs away laughing and spent a full hour and a half at toddler group not looking anywhere near me this morning. It feels like forever at the time but it passes

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Kavy5 · 10/12/2015 20:07

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NannyOggsHedgehogs · 10/12/2015 20:11

Properly widebased, supportive, ergonomic sling, and spend as much time sitting down resting as possible. Fuck the housework, you're still healing!

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MoJo1002 · 11/12/2015 04:18

Thanks all

I love that she wants to be close to me and I love being close with her , and I would love to spend the whole day snuggling with her lol but unfortunately when it comes to having to do something in the house or doing something for/with my 5 year old DS or just going for a wee (lol) I can't.
I was always a bit sceptical of a sling as thought she would become too dependant on being held all the time but I suppose I'm already doing that, and at least with a sling I would have free hands, and you are all right she is only so new and wants to be close and feel secure...so you have all convinced me, I will get a sling, thank you all.

OP posts:

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tiredvommachine · 11/12/2015 04:32

Been there Mojo!
You're doing the right thing.

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Lemonfizzypop · 11/12/2015 05:11

Yeah another recommendation for a sling, it's like a baby whisperer! My Dd falls asleep in it within minutes and can nap in it for hours while I do housework.

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Lemonfizzypop · 11/12/2015 05:11

Sorry i meant to say a caboo close sling.

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DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 11/12/2015 05:24

I had a sling and loved it. Hope it solves your problem. I just ignored comments like "making a rod for own back" etc. Once baby is interested in the world, she'll be happy to venture further from you.

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pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 11/12/2015 05:44

My dd wouldn't be put down at all for six weeks, then she started tolerating short amounts of time under the baby gym and it suddenly improved dramatically. Ds was the same... For longer, but the same! They do grow out of it

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PotteringAlong · 11/12/2015 06:00

If you google sling libraries in your local area you can go and try a variety of slings and see what suits before you buy one.

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Jw35 · 11/12/2015 06:10

Definitely a sling.

You can't get much done or go for a wee alone, it's part of having a newborn. This stage will pass in about 2-3 months. Sorry it's just how it is in the early weeks! Make the most of when she's asleep or your oh is around. Don't worry too much about housework and maybe get a slow cooker. I loved mine!

She's too young to leave to cry, a sling really does help x

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Jw35 · 11/12/2015 06:12

Also as for being to dependant on being in a sling it being held, I put my sling away for good by the time my dd was 7 months, despite being in there most days for the first 3-4 months by 7 months I could put her down anywhere no problem! I wouldn't worry

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Gillian1980 · 11/12/2015 15:30

My DD spent most of the day in the sling for the first few weeks - I DD all housework, cooking, visits to the loo etc with her in it.

She's 18 weeks now and is happy to be in her bouncer, jumperoo, bumbo or play mat while I do things.

I'd go with it for a few weeks, she'll grow out of it when she's ready.

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NannyOggsHedgehogs · 11/12/2015 19:23

My now 3yo lived in the sling for his first 5 months, you'd be hard pressed to find a more independent child now. He knows I love him, that I'm there to come back to when he's finished exploring.

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ODog · 12/12/2015 07:47

They won't become reliant on slings so please don't worry about it. My DS was held in a sling all the time. It got less with every milestone and now at 18mo he will go in a sling maybe once a week. Normally when out shopping when his legs get tired and he is refuses a buggy/trolley. Even then he protests a bit as he cant wriggle out at his own free will and run away in the opposite direction .

Also I can still comfortably carry him and he is big (99th centile for height, 75th for weight) And I am 19wks pg. So a 5 week old will be a doddle with the right sling. Get along to a sling library for advice.