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6mo stranger anxiety

(5 Posts)
NiNoKuni Thu 10-Dec-15 09:48:22

Just looking for a little reassurance that this is just a phase! DS (PFB) will be 6mo next week and seems to be going through a major stranger fear stage. He's perfectly happy with me or his dad, but if he sits on anyone else's lap or they hold him, his lip starts going and we end up with hysterics. Proper emotional sobbing. He's done this with grandparents and neighbours so far. Sometimes the only way we can calm him down is to retrieve him immediately and go into a darkened room!

So is this normal and just a phase? Or should I be socialising him more? We've not done any parent & baby groups or anything, but he's fine with people looking at, talking to and touching him so long as his dad or I am holding him. Is there any way I can gently get him to accept his grandparents? My dad was a little disappointed, I guess, but he's a grown up and can deal with it! I don't want to push DS into something he's not ready for IYSWIM. Any ideas?

GastonsChestHair Thu 10-Dec-15 09:54:33

It's totally normal for that age. Don't worry, it's just a phase and he will grow out of it as he becomes more sociable and confident. Just be reassuring and don't try to force him.

September60b Thu 10-Dec-15 09:55:35

My dd is 11 months and she has gone through exactly the same thing. It also started at around 6 months and she still gets upset if she can't see me or her dad initially but she is getting better! It still takes her a while to warm up and get used to people but she is much better with people that she sees on a weekly basis now (so grandparents and aunties/uncles).

From what I read it is better to retrieve your child and reassure them rather than to leave them to cry. This way it builds up their confidence, especially if they see that the other person is someone you trust and are happy around.

We do go to lots of baby groups but she's still the same unfortunately. I think she's quite a shy child naturally which my MIL loves to tell me is all my fault. wink

CoodleMoodle Thu 10-Dec-15 10:08:45

Yep, been there! For months and months DD could only cope with me, DH and DM. Anybody else - PIL, close friends, postman, people in shops, etc etc - terrified her.

She's 21mo now and likes all of her DGP, waves to cashiers and people who come to the door (she LOVES the Sainsburys man!). As long as strangers don't get too close or anything, she's fine. Not so keen on them talking to her but she doesn't cry anymore, just gives them a terrifying stare and/or buries her face in my arm. But she does say hiya and waves bye bye, which is a massive improvement!

Don't worry OP, he'll get there! And, for what it's worth, we haven't done any baby groups yet, and most of the time it's just me and DD at home. She's happy enough!

NiNoKuni Thu 10-Dec-15 10:24:04

Phew! Glad to hear it's normal. He's fine around people generally, he's a total flirt, charms all the ladies at the doctor's and shops etc. but if anyone holds him it's like he thinks we've sold him on eBay grin

My mum is coming to stay for a week next week, I'm hoping he won't throw a massive strop with her. She's been to stay quite a lot since he was born, much more than the other GPs (she lives overseas so comes for weeks at a time), so fingers crossed he'll recognise her as trustworthy. If not, do you think letting him see me doing things like hugging her will help him?

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