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If you have a new baby, how much time per day so you spend playing with your toddler/preschooler? The guilt!

(7 Posts)
BotBotticelli Wed 09-Dec-15 17:34:01

Ds1 has just turned 3yo.

Ds2 is 4mo and a bit of a handful (up all night sleep regression, has had bronchiolitis this month, teething, spends much of the day grizzling and refuses to nap for more than 45 mins).

As such I am barely able to spend any time playing with my 3yo.

Today in total he has had about 40 mins 1-2-1 playtime with me: we did a Gruffalo puzzle on the floor whilst ds2 had an annoying cat nap. And then we playing a running around/making stepping stones out of cushions game for 20 mins this afternoon whilst his little bro grizzled in his bouncy chair.

The rest of the day my toddler has had to play on his own. We went to a lovely playgroup this morning with great toys and a soft play section where he had a good run about but essentially he had to play by himself at the group because I was feeding/changing/comforting a miserable baby.

We had lunch together and we are about to eat tea.

He has been watching sodding Paw Patrol on the iPad for an hour now whilst I try to cook dinner and get baby to have a last nap.

Is this ok? Normal? Am I damaging my son?? He feels so ignored. Will this get better - when and how??

He is at nursery 3 days per week where at least he gets attention from the staff I suppose 😢

bittapitta Wed 09-Dec-15 17:38:59

Sounds like you're doing a great job! That's a lovely mix of stuff for your 3 year old and it's normal even for only children at that age to play on their own a bit, it's developmental. Playgroup a great idea. Brilliant that he goes to nursery too so you know he is getting more intense interaction there. Keep up the good work, don't feel guilty!

vichill Wed 09-Dec-15 17:57:56

The guilt! I can deal with the stress and exhaustion but the guilt is vile.
My dd1 is 2.5 and do 6m. No nursery just play groups.
Today has been awful due to ill baby and dd2 has has to fend for herself loads (even taking herself upstairs for a wee a few timesfblush). Managed to make a box of cupcakes, dance to few songs on radio, have a bath together and read a few books. The rest of the time she's watched cbeebs as I try and stuff a nip into screamy ill baby's face. I don't think she's too put out though. She's been in a reasonably good mood. Has helped care for and shown concern for the baby. I think she's much more adaptable and mature than I think.

Mamamoose1 Wed 09-Dec-15 20:45:37

It's always the guilt that eats me up. I have three children, DS1 had lots of attention, DS2 had very little, in fact I gave my first son too much attention, always played with him, he never really played by himself, but as a result he has a poor attention span now, has found it difficult to entertain himself and he's 9, I never gave him the opportunity to do the things he should have done. DS2 always had little attention, he has a big imagination and amuses himself easily, is very placid, calm and bright. Children don't need lots of one to one all the time, it's important - but it's also important for children to learn to self play.

Fugghetaboutit Wed 09-Dec-15 20:48:48

Sounds like a great day! Don't feel guilty!

Binkybix Fri 11-Dec-15 17:34:36

I've an 8 week old and nearly 2.5 yo. You're doing a lot better than I am! How the heck do you do this if baby won't be put down?! And won't sleep in pram once it stops?

vichill Fri 11-Dec-15 18:27:06

Binkybix it was horrific before the baby started to take an interest in her surroundings. Now she'll sit and watch telly or dd1 play whilst I run about like a headless chicken.

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