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Spirited (High Need) Baby Support

(23 Posts)
LittlePixieMa Mon 07-Dec-15 18:09:09

Any of this familiar?

1 baby needs to be constantly held
2 feeds frequently during the day
3 feeds or comfort sucks through the night
4 won't sleep alone
5 HATES the pram and/or car seat
6 takes short naps
7 doesn't like being held / left with others
8 gets bored or over stimulated very quickly

Feeling exhausted and want some support from others with spirited fussy babies

If so join the club 

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 10:16:10

<standing here with a tray of coffee and biscuits for all the other tired Mamas, but finding myself alone>

I guess I'm the only one with a high need baby?! Xx

Iagreewithmrsdevere Tue 08-Dec-15 10:18:20

Sounds like a normal baby to me. How old is he/she?

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 10:40:06

My DS is 6 months smile

ODog Tue 08-Dec-15 11:55:13

Sounds like my DS was/still is a bit. He's 18mo now and can tolerate car seat/buggy although prefers to walk/carried (he recently taken a dislike to slings and I'm pregnant so trying not to carry too much). He can also nap alone for a good length of time and regularly sleeps the whole night in his own bed (although doesn't sleep through the night yet).

He is still nervous around people/situations he doesn't know, needs entertaining but also gets a bit overwrought if a lot has been going on, really does still need a dummy and a muslin for comfort.

It's their personality, DS was like it on day 1 in the hospital so I know I haven't 'created' it, but it's tough wen you see all these sleeping, chilled out babies happily laying in prams/car seats while mum relaxes and sips a latte envy. High needs toddlers are much more fun though, plus I haven't put on much weight at all so far this pregnancy due to all the running about after him. Plus I lost my pregnancy weight really quickly as I was constantly rocking/slinging/breastfeeding when DS was tiny. Swings and roundabouts!

Iagreewithmrsdevere Tue 08-Dec-15 11:57:28

Congratulations! I'm sure there are lots of people on MN who can assist you but this sounds just like my two at that age. This stage does pass, but when you are getting too little sleep yourself it is exhausting. Have you tried putting him in his own room/cot at night at all yet?

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 17:40:00

Hey 0Dog
High needs babies are certainly more fun! Mine is full of character smile

You've given me hope that one day he'll nap alone hopefully before he's 18.

Oh god isn't it annoying when all the others mums are sipping away with they're perfect boring babies asleep in the pram! I had that earlier today, I'm stood up bouncing up and down to get DS to sleep, everyone else is sitting and yapping away!! Lol

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 17:41:54

Hey iagree
ive been trying to put him in his cot since he was born, so far I've failed!! He screams, a lot!! Bless him xx

Mslad Tue 08-Dec-15 19:03:54

I'll join you for coffee, cakes and high spirited baby support. My dd is also 6 months and I know exactly what you mean about being in cafes when all the other babies are snoozing or relaxing while I'm dangling 10 different toys to amuse her, bouncing, walking, rocking, general, she requires constant attention. She is absolutely adorable but yes, very demanding shock

Finola1step Tue 08-Dec-15 19:16:51


Ds at 4 months. In a v naice cafe in Dulwich. All the other NCT mums looking fabulous while their tiny bundles sleep soundly in their bugaboos. Me? Looking more like Worzel Gummige as I stand with ds in baby carrier, desperately trying to bounce/ sway him to sleep. And guess what he did later that day... flipping started crawling. At 17 blooming weeks old.

Fast forward 7.5 years. Ds is still the active one. Wins races on Sports Day, places football for a selective academy, etc etc. Enjoys all sorts of sport including athletics, hockey, tennis and squash. Is as fit as a flea.

So I can't offer support as a mum going through it now. But I can tell you that it does get better and there's nothing quite like watching your dc win the relay race from being in third place and tearing down that running track.

ODog Tue 08-Dec-15 19:55:27

shock at crawling at 17 weeks! Wow! Defo some sort of Olympic athlete there!

53rdAndBird Tue 08-Dec-15 20:33:11

High five, OP. It does get better! Mine is now 20 months and will nap in her cot - I thought this day would never come.

Oh God the early months, though. Cot? Screaming. Pram? Screaming. Car seat? Screaming (actually she still does that, oh well). Moses basket? Play mat? Any time she was out of my arms at all? Screaming screaming screaming. She was the happiest baby ever so long as she was being held/rocked/played with, but you put her down at your peril.

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:31:05

Welcome Mslad
Glad to have some company here, have some wine coffee and choccy cake. Lol, amazing how much energy these gorgeous little ones require!!

Hoping for a good night sleep..............

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:34:12

Hey Finola!
I guess you don't need the coffee so here's some wine smile
Wow, 17 weeks!! I thought my monkey was early!! Fab hearing from someone who has been there done that!

Most of what I get is 'you're making a rod......' I invite them over to get him to sleep minus the bouncing and / or boob!!

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:37:07

Hey 53rd
Awesome, so he won't still be napping join to me when he's at uni? Thank god! Haha!!
You know i love it, love that he wants me ALL the time, but boy am I knackered!!

Did yours just gradually transition or did you give a little nudge to help? Xx

53rdAndBird Tue 08-Dec-15 21:41:13

She just did it herself, really. (Possibly would have been sooner if I'd kept on trying from time to time, but tbh after about 7/8 months I just thought "eh, I give up, she'll sleep when she sleeps.")

Along with not wanting to be held all the time - once she could move under her own steam, that went straight out the door, and one of her first words was "Down!"

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:42:12

Just got back from being gone 1.5 hrs to teach Yoga, DH in a grump as DS has been crying for an hour envy
Poor little boy, must be tough on DH but would be nice to come home to a smile once in a while!

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 21:46:35

53rd that's sooo good to hear! Fed up of clueless people telling me to sleep train. Feels right working with him as he is, rather than enforcing something on him. Just end up doubting myself when the bloody health visitors tell me you must put him down awake but drowsy..... Like that'll work!

<here's a hug and a glass of wine for you>

ODog Tue 08-Dec-15 21:56:30

Haha a HV told me, when DS, was 6 weeks old, that I should put him in his Moses basket, read him a story and that should get him to sleep. Hilarious!

He only just went to sleep now after bath, milk, story, song...then over an hour of running around the house like a mad man. DH and I let him burn out while we watched masterchef. He eventually let me cide him to sleep in our bed.

Please ignore all the rods advice. Am nct friend of mine with a previously good sleeper recently admitted I clearly hadn't made a rod which she clearly thought I had since her, sleep trained via cio from day 1 DS now sleeps worse than my DS who coslept from day 1.

However, that wasn't a choice - it was a necessity!

ODog Tue 08-Dec-15 21:57:15

Cuddle not cide

LittlePixieMa Tue 08-Dec-15 22:10:46

0Dog that's hilarious, trying very hard not to laugh out loud as DS will wake if I do, lol.

Haha, same here, never planned to cosleep, the little one left me no choice! Moses basket complete waste of money, and the cot makes a brilliant storage for random crap bed linen.

Finola1step Tue 08-Dec-15 22:20:43

Rod for your own back? Rubbish.

I am very much a live and let live, each to their own kind of person. But it really hacks me off when other people suggest that what another parent does will result in a problem later on. Utter rubbish. What they really mean is "Ooh I wouldn't do it like that. You're doing it wrong. Do it my way because my way is right and better". Eff off.

The vast majority of parents simply want to look after their dc well and raise them to be happy, honest and independent young people. How you get there will look different in many homes.

Good to hear you enjoyed teaching your Yoga class. I know its really, really tough. Especially the night wakings. won't want to hear this... there comes a day when they are too big to scoop up and cuddle in your arms. Without a leg dangling here and an elbow in your face! Although it is fabulous to have dc who now sleep well, I miss that night time cuddle. Just me and the baby, all snug and cuddly. Or maybe I just have a bad case of rose tinted glasses. fgrin

LittlePixieMa Wed 09-Dec-15 08:21:55

Finola - very well said!!! You're right, I will miss the special cosy night wake ups, such a special quiet time! I already miss the newborn 24/7 constant feeding, and I was sooo tired!!

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