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People think my baby is white.

(71 Posts)
Sazzysez123 Sat 05-Dec-15 10:52:01

My little girl (11 days) is part white part African American, but everyone comments on how pale she is and it's really fustrating as they say (from the HV) 'oh she doesn't have any of her dad's colourings does she?' Has anyone else had this happen to them?

afreshstartplease Sat 05-Dec-15 10:54:03

Well she's got dark hair hasn't she so I don't know how they can say that's it's not like she's bleach blond!

People always have something to say

honeysucklejasmine Sat 05-Dec-15 10:55:16

She's only little. DN is 1/4 black and has only started to look it after a few months. Give it time and in the meanwhile tell people to mind their own business.

justabigdisco Sat 05-Dec-15 10:56:05

Yes! I've got two children, I'm white, their dad is Asian. They are both pretty pale but with dark hair. You wouldn't know they were mixed race. People often say to me 'is their dad dark then?' (meaning dark haired, as I'm blonde). And I say 'yes, he's Asian'. Then they are embarrassed as though they've been unintentionally racist. It's fine! He is dark!

justabigdisco Sat 05-Dec-15 10:56:47

PS your girl is beautiful smile

enderwoman Sat 05-Dec-15 10:56:51

Gorgeous girl... My uterus just skipped a beat smile

Some people are simply stupid. My children are blonde with blue eyes while their parents both have dark brown hair and brown eyes and we get comments too.

laundryeverywhere Sat 05-Dec-15 10:57:17

She's beautiful and don't listen to anyone saying something negative about her!

trying29 Sat 05-Dec-15 10:57:39

My son is also half Asian and didn't really start to get more pigment in his skin Until he was about 7 months old. He looks more Mediterranean.

MrsLeighHalfpenny Sat 05-Dec-15 10:57:49

a) she might not have any of her dads colour, but does that matter? She might have inherited his sense if humour or something else instead.
b) babies change as they get older. Her skin might darjen, her hair might turn blonde - who knows.
c) some kids look nothing like either parent, ever (eg prince harry with his ginger hair). They inherit recessive genes.

She's your baby, and v v cute btw, and you both love her. That's what matters.

Brokenwardrobe Sat 05-Dec-15 10:58:02

Babies change a lot in the first year. Maybe not relevant but my ID twins looked so different for the first few months total strangers regularly told me that they didn't look like twins at all (and on one occasion that they most certainly were not confused). Now they are never doubted as they look so similar.

Grapeeatingweirdo Sat 05-Dec-15 10:58:11

It can be annoying and I feel for you. My friend is black and has two children who look almost Scandinavian in colouring and she got lots of comments when they were first born.

What I will say is congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby. She is absolutely gorgeous.

Junoandthepeacock Sat 05-Dec-15 10:59:38

She will get darker as she gets older.

My dd is similar, and midwife thought she was white and jaundiced. lol. I didn't enlighten her. smile

HPsauciness Sat 05-Dec-15 11:00:37

She is utterly adorable, just gorgeous. Made me feel clucky.

As for commenting, people do comment on babies appearances a lot, it is very irritating, I don't know what you can do other than state your own opinion on the matter. I think it's quite tactless to remark that a baby doesn't look too like the dad (apparently people do this whatever the baby looks like, probably to reassure dads about paternity subconsciously) but obviously some people are just rude like that.

JeffyJeffington Sat 05-Dec-15 11:01:55

I am mixed race, so are my siblings and baby dd. We are a fairly wide spread of skintones, with dd so pale you can't tell her heritage. I really don't mind people commenting unless it's something that's actually racist. People just do make tedious small talk about how babies look-it really doesn't matter!

Brokenwardrobe Sat 05-Dec-15 11:03:57

Dd hair started out very dark brunette, but by a yr she was light blond.
Ds was platinum and an actual doctor made a comment in a written report on his hearing about his hair being blond while me and the dad are brunette hmm
It's very annoying the silly things people will say.

BeverlyGoldberg Sat 05-Dec-15 11:04:53

She's absolutely stunning.

Both me and DH are fair, our baby was slightly jaundice and appeared fairly dark at first, we had a very insensitive comment on FB saying are we sure she's ours as she looked dark. I can laugh about it now but at the time I was very upset.

People always have something to say about babies and they don't always engage their brains.

JeffyJeffington Sat 05-Dec-15 11:04:54

Also i really wouldn't worry about whether she darkens as she gets older, why would it matter? From my experience people can fetishise mixed race-ness, which is strange and unhealthy imo.

cocacola1006 Sat 05-Dec-15 11:05:02

I have friends in the Caribbean- both parents and all family black. Their baby girl looked half black at darkest, if not ¼, for a few weeks. But now at 6 months she's much darker already. But if she stays how she is then that's ok too and people will always have comments regardless!

PurpleGreenAvocado Sat 05-Dec-15 11:08:33

She's clearly darker skinned than you are, but either way, it doesn't really matter what others think. She's your daughter and that's all that matters.

Notsoaccidentproneanymore Sat 05-Dec-15 11:11:40

Ds1 was born a couple of weeks early and was jaundiced.

Someone asked me if he had a sun tan shock some people are just a bit daft, and open their mouths before engaging their brains.

Lilipot15 Sat 05-Dec-15 11:15:20

Congratulations, what a gorgeous baby!

I think folk sometimes just say things for the sake of it. I have one girl with lots of hair and a baby who is still bald. Some people go on and on about the lack of hair, like they've never seen a bald baby before! And then debate on what colour her hair will be when it does come in "is the fluff blonde or ginger"? Answer, it really doesn't matter and please could we stop focussing on my child's appearance!

Debbriana1 Sat 05-Dec-15 11:15:48

That is just the beginning. Tighten your sit belt, it's going to be a very long ride.

gymboywalton Sat 05-Dec-15 11:17:20

she is gorgeous!!

are you in the states or the UK? i was just wondering if american health visitors are as daft as some british health visitors

Arfarfanarf Sat 05-Dec-15 11:18:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Debbriana1 Sat 05-Dec-15 11:20:21

I think I actually miss having a baby that age. Your baby is gorgeous.

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