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6 weeks old and I am still floundering

(3 Posts)
crystalgall Fri 04-Dec-15 15:00:36

To summarise:

Have DS 4 and DD 6 weeks old
Horrendous birth
Been staying with family for past 6 weeks
Going g back home tomorrow where I have to pack up my entire house as it's been sold. Moving out beginning of January.
Then to inlaws where we will be staying for forseeable future until we find a home.

I am beyond depressed. I am
Continuously anxious and cry all the time every time things go 'wrong'

Baby has no routine. Fights sleep constantly. Currently been in my arms for 2 hours desperate to sleep but crying and waking every few minutes. She plays for 10jns before being cranky again. Feeds erratically sometimes 5oz sometimes 2.
But it's mostly the lack of proper sleep that's killing me. Won't sleep in Moses basket or bouncer or sofa or bed. If she does it will be for 20ins then 2 hours of fighting and crying in my arms trying to go back to sleep.

So far I've coped having family around to palm her off to when I can so I can also take care of DS
But now I'm going home I am panicking about how to cope with a baby who won't sleep or be put
down, a 4 yr old who goes to preschool and a house to pack up. DH helps but isn't very good with holding the baby...he just can't seem to calm her at all.

I know everyone will say a sling but even that is hit and miss. Sometimes it works other times makes her scream even more.

This is soooo long and boring. Sorry. But I just need to rant I think.

I feel so depressed all the time. We had really debated whether to have another child because I had PND and just struggled to cope and now it's happening again. I panic and cry and get angry (at the baby) and want to run away. DS is getting nothing from me either and I am
Consumed with guilt.

Oh god. I will stop
Now. Thanks for reading

RevsDeCub Fri 04-Dec-15 17:17:25

I have no advice for you (ds1 is 10 weeks old) but I'm hand holding. It sounds like you are going through an awfully stressful time with moving alone with a high maintenance baby but you are doing SO WELL!
If you think you are developing pnd again I would suggest going to see your GP. No other advice but it will get better, I'm sure. Apparently there is a magical 12 week mark where babies calm down (still waiting here confused).
chocolatewine for you!

FireflyGirl Fri 04-Dec-15 22:40:36

You've nothing to feel guilty about crystal; you are doing amazingly! And it can't be easy being somewhere that's not 'home'.

If you think the PND might be coming back, speak to your GP. But anyone would be overwhelmed in your position.

Practical points:
-Can any family members help pack?
-Have you looked at removals firms? I've heard that they can often be quite reasonable, and they will just go through your house and pack everything in a day. If you've the funds, I'd go for it. You could even delegate researching this to family members.

- Has your GP ruled out anything other than just being a newborn?
- Does she prefer to be upright? Could it be reflux?
- Have you heard of/tried a sleepyhead? My entire antenatal class swore by theirs (some had something slightly different and cheaper, if you search 'sleepyhead' on MN I seem to recall there being comparison discussions). Outrageously expensive for what it is, but if it helps her sleep!
- Have you been to a sling library? There could be a particular aspect of the sling she doesn't like, which might be solved by using a different style.
- With you saying horrendous birth, has anyone discussed cranial osteopathy with you? It's something that I've heard mentioned, when it's been a difficult birth, as they may have injuries which aren't apparent (along the lines of a cricked neck, uncomfortable but not serious). Might be worth looking into? I never tried it, seemed a bit 'woo' to me, but DS was a relatively good sleeper (in his Sleepyhead). If he hadn't been, I might have tried it.
- Bottles - I note you refer to her having so many oz, so assume you feed her from a bottle. Could it be wind/colic? Have you tried changing the bottles/formula if FF? Dr Browns bottles get a lot of recommendations. We used them and never had any problems, but never used anything else so can't say whether they worked iyswim.
- Dummy - love them or hate them, they work for some babies.

You are doing a fantastic job for your babies, flowers and cake and (hopefully) wine for you

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