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Second baby guilt!(5 Posts)
I have two DDs with a 16 month gap. DD1 was fairly fussy as a newborn-never colicky, I didn't have it nearly as bad as friends whose babies had reflux etc, but not totally easy-just a typical newborn. I subscribed to an attachment parenting mindset at the time, and let her sleep on me during the day. She was always in a sling and rarely put down-never left to cry, even for a minute. She's always been in a Sleepyhead at night, didn't co-sleep as she slept through quite early on at night.
Following c-section 2 with DD2 (now 5 weeks), when DH went back to work, I had times where I wasn't able to have DD2 in the sling (got an infection in the scar which opened up), and she's cried in the cot/on the playmat while I've seen to DD1. She sleeps on me, but equally will put herself off to sleep if I put her in the cot. Sometimes, I've raced around seeing to DD1 and by the time I get to DD2 she's gone to sleep. After the amount of physical contact I had with DD1, I feel guilty all the time with DD2. I realise I'm probably being a hormonal lunatic. DD1 is as securely attached as can be-she's never had a clingy phase, goes to her dad/GPs without any issues. I've got it into my head that I'll turn DD2 into some sort of sociopath because she doesn't get spoken to/cuddled as much as DD1 did at this time.
In the nicest possible way, you are being a bit of a hormonal lunatic.
Babies cry. It does them no harm at all. Unfortunately you're never going to be able to give dc2 the same attention, especially while they are both so young. But the important thing is that you are giving both Disown attention, which you are. Try to go easy on yourself
Oh, I had concerns like that about my two. DS (younger) was very easy and 18 month old DD was more demanding. Three years on it doesn't seem to have done him any harm and I think he really benefits from having someone close in age but older to model social skills.
Thank you! I had suspicions I'm being a bit hormonal
How is it going now?
I have a 5 week old 2nd DC and feel very differently about her to how I felt 1st time around.
Feel a bit bad that I am so bored of the weather, and spend less time gazing at her adoringly and loving every minute. She's cute and I love her and I'm happy, but I miss the simplicity of having only one. I thought he was perfect until 5 weeks ago. Now they both seem cool, but I'm not as high on love as I expected to be.
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