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The right to see my child

(10 Posts)
jaimelewis Thu 03-Dec-15 02:46:16

Hello,

My four year olds mother decided she didn't want to live here anymore and went to live with her parents but she has taken our son with her and for no other reason than to hurt me she won't let me see or speak to him.
He has an appointment at the hospital tomorrow which I certainly feel entitled to attend but do his grandparents have any right to prevent me spending time with him? I see no reason why the relationship with my child has to suffer.

jaimelewis Thu 03-Dec-15 02:51:20

EDIT: His Grandparents are taking him to the appointment and I with the child's best interest at heart I would never take the kind of action his mother has.

LuisCarol Thu 03-Dec-15 02:59:47

I certainly feel entitled

Agreed

MaisieDotes Thu 03-Dec-15 07:42:55

Without knowing the whole backstory we can't advise you, OP

If you can't come to an arrangement with your child's mother re access, then you will need to go down the usual route to get it- i.e. the courts.

honeysucklejasmine Thu 03-Dec-15 07:47:34

Grandparents can't really stop you, no, but you need to consider the impact any confrontation with them will have on your DC. If you ex won't allow contact, start legal proceedings.

AuntieStella Thu 03-Dec-15 07:49:08

You need to go through the courts to secure access to your child.

Yes, if you have parental responsibility, you should be able to participate in key areas of your DC's life, including medical issues. But this is not best effected by turning up at occasional appointments when you are not seeing your DC regularly.

Sort the first, and the rest should follow.

(BTW, you don't have rights in this, just responsibilities).

AnyFucker Thu 03-Dec-15 07:51:28

I might be with you if your phraseology had been slightly different but with a whole different meaning

A child's right to see it's father

Now bog off and do a bit of thinking around that concept and you might find things get clearer going forward

Arfarfanarf Thu 03-Dec-15 08:17:57

Assuming there is nothing you have left out - you are not abusive, dont take drugs, arent an alcoholic etc then it is not fair to the child to deny them a father. If the mother wont let the child have a relationship with its father then go to court and ask the court to formalise an arrangement.

Alfieisnoisy Thu 03-Dec-15 08:29:54

Bit blunt there AF, things don't always reflect their true meaning in print.

OP, without knowing the backstory it's hard to advice but yes your child has a right to a relationship with you. My friend has left a violent relationship but despite the issues between the parents they have been able to sort contact with the help of the courts. As a result her child has a regular amount of time spent with his Dad and everyone is happy. Now there is no contact between them it's been better for all concerned. What will happen in the future remains to be seen,

I don't know if you have that kind of history or not but except in extreme cases where a child is at risk of harm then your child has a right to a relationship with you.

You need to approach a solicitor and ask for help with arranging contact.

jaimelewis Thu 03-Dec-15 12:09:17

There's no history of violence, drugs/alcohol with me or the mother. Aside from the odd typical argument I think the reason she wanted to leave was because she finds it weird living with an ex.
The argument that led to her leaving came about after I asked her to speak to her parents about the influence they are having on our child. He recently mimicked holding a cigarette and said "smoking like granddad" which his mother claimed he could have "learned anywhere" and in the past when our child has stayed at his Grandparents (he's obviously close with them too, I respect that) they have made it clear to me that they don't smoke in doors. However now I know they were smoking indoors for over a year while having him for the odd weekend.

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