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Is it normal to worry and feel sad when child starts school

(10 Posts)
waterrat Tue 01-Dec-15 08:15:40

My son is at pre school each morning and also a childminder on the days that I work.

He loves v sociable and outgoing no problems settling at pre school.

I am in absolute fits of sadness guilt and anxiety about school next September. He is a summer baby but I have to admit I don't really think he will struggle as he is such an outgoing cheerful child . But I am struggling! I hate the idea of formal learning starting to creep in I hate the idea of them all sitting down from year 1 onwards. I felt sick when I visited a local school and saw the year one children sitting and doing writing.

As a working parent I also feel devestation that I will hardly see him because I work three days and now will only have a couple of hours on school days with him

Will I feel different when he starts? ..

00100001 Tue 01-Dec-15 08:17:13

Year 1 isn't exactly like a Victorian school where they're all learning by rote you know..

BertrandRussell Tue 01-Dec-15 08:58:46

It's perfectly normal to worry and feel sad about them starting school. I went home and cried on the first day of every term for years. And I was in pieces when dd started university! Perhaps not so normal to be worried and sad about him learning stuff, though......?

BertrandRussell Tue 01-Dec-15 09:01:15

I had builders in at the beginning of one term and I was in such a state when I got home they sat me down and made me a cup of tea and told me stories about how their kids had been fine.......blush

mercifulTehlu Tue 01-Dec-15 09:13:39

It seems to be normal, and yet I've never quite understood it tbh! OP - why does the sight of children sitting down and writing make you feel sick? That is a pretty extreme reaction!

I can totally understand that you will miss your child while he's at school, but learning is supposed to be fun! Primary school teachers spend an awful lot of time and effort making sure it is fun. Kids like learning new things - after all, they've been spending most of their time learning new things since the day they were born! Reception is mostly play, and even after that, the 'formal learning' is ushered in very gently.

I'm wondering if you had a bad experience of school yourself? If so, hopefully you will avoid passing on your worry to your son and he will thoroughly enjoy starting school and put your mind at rest. If he is sociable and outgoing he will be even more likely to love it! flowers

PerspicaciaTick Tue 01-Dec-15 09:43:09

A bit of worry is very normal, and most parents bite it back and put on a great display of positivity for their DCs as they start school.
But I think that getting this worried and anxious when it is so many months away, and having such a strong emotional/physical reaction to even the idea of children doing a little formal learning on Y1, well, that seem quite extreme.
Most KS1 children I know enjoy learning and are very proud of the things they learn about and the new skills they learn. Come the time, you will feel just as proud of your DS's first wobbly-lettered poem as you were of his first steps.

Jw35 Tue 01-Dec-15 09:53:23

I'd say normal but I'm like you myself. When my eldest started nursery I felt down and sad about it for months!

The thought of my youngest starting school is upsetting too..

I thought there was something wrong with me but I'm going to go with just an emotional person!

PennyHasNoSurname Tue 01-Dec-15 09:56:31

DD will start school in September, after going to preschool since last January. The thing that I fret about is lunch - carrying her little tray of food to the table, after selecting what she wants. What if she doesnt enjoy the food? What if she spills her tray?

Daft, I know, but everyone has little worries. Im sure you will be fine when the time comes.

Obs2015 Tue 01-Dec-15 09:57:05

Actually I don't think it is particularly normal. What exactly are you worried about? I was pleased and excited.
Most are a bit apprehensive on the first day. Some continue to be. Others give a kiss and run off without a backward glance.
You do need to work out what is really going on here.

waterrat Tue 01-Dec-15 11:36:31

Thanks people I really appreciate your thoughts. It's true I didn't love school much myself. .And I was often in trouble for daydreaming etc so think I have a feeling of antipathy towards the whole structure.

And it does seem so young to hand them over for most of their waking hours. ..

However I accept I may be wrong about the stress of formal learning. ..if you all are sure it is actually quite enjoyable !

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