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Would I regret starting to co sleep with 8mo?

(19 Posts)
chumbler Fri 27-Nov-15 23:10:09

Her sleep has always been pretty average - up every 3 hrs ish, ebf. In the last month she has "slept through" 7/8/9hrs on the odd occasion (nothing consistent) however she is becoming impossible to settle sad I feed to sleep but she cries as soon as I put her down / 20 min later, this can go on for hours until she finally sleeps. The last 2 nights she has slept from 11-2am then just couldn't be settled so I co slept. I just wonder am I mad to start a habit like that? And why is she so hard to settle?! Sorry for the rambling, Im not sure what to think anymore. Thanks all

CockwombleJeff Fri 27-Nov-15 23:24:26

Do what you need to do survive and what is best for your situation.

My children are ten now.

I have NEVER regretted co- sleeping.

They have very secure attachments .

leaningtoweroflego Fri 27-Nov-15 23:30:10

We didn't decide to coslept with DS. In fact DP was totally against the idea.

Then we both realised how much more sleep we all got if DS was in bed with us, DP's objections seemed to suddenly disappear!

You should do what works for your family. If cosleeping means you all get more sleep you'd be mad not to at least consider it IMO!

You should google for the guidelines for safer cosleeping.

deepdarkwood Fri 27-Nov-15 23:36:51

I absolutely refused to co-sleep with ds (my first) - I was convinced it would make things worse. I sat by his cot for hours, patted and kept things quiet. I was knackered. I didn't know how to fix him.

With dd (my second) we just snuggled up in bed. She always went down in her cot, but if she woke up, she came in with us, cuddled up & was calm.

Ds slept through the whole night at 18 months. Dd slept through the whole night at 18 months. My experience with dd was soooooo much better,calmer and more positive. Many of my best memories of her babyhood are of sleepy half awake cuddles. I say go for it! She won't be co-sleeping at 11!

Sleepyfergus Fri 27-Nov-15 23:51:24

I guess it depends on your situation, everyone is different. We found ourselves co sleeping at 8mths and I wanted to stop it as it meant DH ended up on the sofa (because of lack of room in the bed, and because he was terrified of squishing dd) and I was due back at work in a months time and wanted to regain my sleep.

We did controlled crying (super nanny version, not as harsh as some regimes) and dd2 nailed it in 3 nights. Again, it doesn't suit everyone but she's 3.5 now and is still a terrific sleeper.

slicedfinger Fri 27-Nov-15 23:55:52

Dd1 is 16 soon. She has slept in her own since she was about 4 I think, but we have no regrets about co-sleeping in the early years. She pretty much decided herself when she was ready to go solo.

TesticleOfObjectivity Sat 28-Nov-15 00:08:05

My dd (16 months) has always been a bad sleeper. We tried everything to get her to sleep but nothing worked. I was falling to pieces. Recently we decided to let her sleep with us. She still isn't a brilliant sleeper but it's improved massively and I feel like a human again. I've had comments from people I don't know that well saying how refreshed I look!

I wish I'd just done it a year ago and saved myself from all the aggravation, stress and sleep deprivation! It was comments from mil and bil that put me off cosleeping sooner, but I've realised they aren't the ones that have to suffer every night nor is it any of their business.

pjsgalore Sat 28-Nov-15 07:43:09

I think it also depends on whether you're able to sleep with her in the bed or not. I could never sleep properly with my baby in the bed, I just couldn't totally relax, so it never worked for us. But if you are actually able to get a full night's sleep, and wake up feeling refreshed and in a good mood - and you like it - then why not. If you try it and it doesn't really work, you can go back to encouraging her back into her cot.

Alwayssunny Sat 28-Nov-15 07:48:25

Another one here who felt it was a terrible thing to start (rod for own back mentality) and spent hours and hours doing pat shush and gradual retreat with DS1

He never slept well still and often needs reassurance at bedtime now and he is 11!

With DS3 who was an atrocious sleeper not helped by health issues I knew in order to survive with continuous wakings it would have to be co sleeping and it was a revelation.

Yes he woke but the wakings were brief and not having g to stand in a cold room leaning over a cot going shuuussssh for hours was fantastic.

He just gradually transitioned to his own bed full time from about 18m altho still comes in to us middle of the night about twice a week which is lovely (he is 8) for a cuddle but it is getting less and I suspect soon won't be at all as he sleeps longer.

I never regretted it and wished I'd had the confidence to just go with the flow with DS1

chumbler Sat 28-Nov-15 18:51:10

Thank you all. Ended up co sleeping again, despite being next to me and having free access to boob she was still waking much more than usual, today she has a stinking cold so that could be why she was unsettled. Going to try to go with the flow as pp suggests smile thanks all for helping me to see that I just need to do whatever feels right for us

TesticleOfObjectivity Sat 28-Nov-15 19:07:45

Ah mine always sleeps terribly when she has a cold. (Well with dd it's usually teething giving her a blocked nose.) Hope it clears up soon. smile

FannyTheChampionOfTheWorld Sat 28-Nov-15 19:49:34

Both of mine started refusing to be alone in the cot around that age. Began cosleeping, no regrets, it's been the thing that allows us to get the most sleep.

daluze Sat 28-Nov-15 20:09:49

It may be a short phase. My DS1, nearly 3 years old, goes through that every few months. Usually it was related to him being a bit unwell, teething, cold or something like that. He'd go back to his cot (now bed) without problems after a few days, when he felt better.

chocomochi Sat 28-Nov-15 20:19:19

We started co- sleeping with DD1 around 6 months as we were worried about cot death. She was ebf and didn't settle well, and more often than not fall asleep at the breasts with me holding her to sleep (I was sleeping sat up in bed!). In the end, enough was enough and co-sleeping was the best thing we did as we all slept ( relatively well) at night.

With DD2, I co-slept from birth and don't regret it.

Both went into their own rooms/beds at 5 and 3, and sleep through no problem. I still miss the co-sleeping tbh, especially the morning cuddles in bed.

Sylviecat Sat 28-Nov-15 21:41:12

I didn't co sleep with my first and spent hours shushing and singing etc and was shattered. I co slept with dc 2 and just slept, it was a revelation. They both sleep fine now. Don't worry... Just enjoy the sleep and cuddles.

minipie Sat 28-Nov-15 21:53:02

It doesn't have to be one or the other... with mine I have a loose rule of thumb that says if they seem really ill/miserable with teeth and we are struggling to settle then they come in with us. On "normal" nights however (ie not too many wake ups and settling reasonably well) they stay in their cot - as we sleep a lot better without a wriggly snoring baby in our bed...

Writerwannabe83 Sat 28-Nov-15 22:24:34

I started co-sleeping with DS on a nightly basis when he hit 6-7 months old. It was the only way I was getting any sleep grin

chumbler Sat 28-Nov-15 22:28:43

That's what I'd ideally like to do minipie, I just worry that too many nights in a row will lead to a bad habit... But I hope 8 months is still little for habits to be hard to break?

chumbler Sat 28-Nov-15 22:30:11

Looks like she'll be in with us again, sleeping just 25mins... Enough time for me to finally drift off before she cries!

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