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Constantly comparing grandparents

(7 Posts)
AngelDog Thu 26-Nov-15 21:02:52

We're really lucky to have both sets of grandparents visit fortnightly. My in-laws are youngish, healthy, high energy, and spend a whole day playing exciting games and taking my boys on long, multiple vehicle bus trips, which they love. My parents are older, less good health, generally more geriatric and definitely not so good with children. My mum reads to the boys while my dad helps with a bit of housework.

My kids are completely obsessed with my in-laws; they talk about them constantly, make them cards, presents and everything of interest is 'to show Grandad and Granny'. With my parents - not. The 6 y.o. made my mum a birthday card featuring a picture of my mother in law! DS1 often says, "I hate Grandpa and Nanna" and tells me he hates them coming. When asked, it's because they don't do such fun things as my in-laws do.

Is there any way of teaching kids to be more pleasant about it? The 3 y.o. is now copying, and they both have a strop every time I say my parents are coming. It's not my parents' fault that they're old, boring and less good with kids! I don't expect the boys to enjoy both visits equally, but I would like to get DS1 to stop telling everyone he hates my parents because they're not so fun.

waterrat Fri 27-Nov-15 12:44:24

Oh that's hard
Are your parents really making enough effort ? My mum is very low energy with my 3 year old but she likes to read to him or do bedtime. ...or do some cooking and make pizzas etc

Most children like a mix of activities...are your children picking up on a lack of interest rather than just lack of physical energy.

Otherwise I think you just have to be strict about being kind

RiverTam Fri 27-Nov-15 12:50:54

Otherwise??? Err, no, that's the only thing you need to be doing! GPs aren't performing seals.

We have the same and DD definitely prefers MIL but if she was ever mean about my mum shed get fucking short shrift from me. I would also point out thst thus is your parents they are beung nasty about.

teacher54321 Fri 27-Nov-15 13:26:19

I can't believe you haven't nipped this in the bud already to be honest. If Ds said he 'hated' his grandparents I would be FURIOUS and mortified.

na5ima Fri 27-Nov-15 13:54:02

I would of been soo upset.. I would get so angry if my child even said anything like that l.. Defo wouldn't tolerate it no way..

AutumnLeavesArePretty Sat 28-Nov-15 13:00:07

You needed to have nipped this in the bud some time ago, you are the parent so need to teach them respect and manners.

Maybe your dad could play a childs board game with your eldest rather than do your cleaning.

AngelDog Sun 29-Nov-15 22:30:16

Thanks, everyone. We don't 'tolerate' DS1 saying it, but it is pretty hard to stop a child saying things sometimes. We always discuss why it's wrong, and how my parents would be really upset, how it's okay to prefer the activities he does with my in-laws, but that doesn't allow him to be nasty about mine etc.

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