School accusations(21 Posts)
Hi this is my first thread on here and I feel I have to write this as I am so upset and wondered if any other parent has had the same experience as I have with there childrens school?
My 7 year old son on Sunday was playing with his dad bouncing on the bed before night time and unfortunately our dog jumped on the bed to play and knocked heads with our son and this caused a cut and bump on the front of his head which I bathed and we kept him in our bed all night and of school the next day just incase-I also phoned the doctors to get advise on if we needed to bring my son down to get a tetanus shot as I know any Incident with animals can be tricky even a cut ?
The doctors called me back and stated that they don't need a shot and just to keep an eye on it and if it looks differant in anyway the next day to bring him down and the nurse will give him some anti biotics. Anyway all was well and I dropped him at school this morning and advised the school about the accident and told them about contacting the doctors. Anyway an hour late I get the head teacher calling me and saying regarding your son I have had to make a report out regarding the dog bite ? (It wasn't a bite anyway) and the fact you said you have took your son to the doctors but your son said he hadn't been ? Again I told the lady at school I had contacted the doctor so my son must have said right
Y that he hadn't gone ?? And they have made me feel like a bad parent -stating they have had to file a report and pass this on as a duty of care!!!
I'm in tears as I have not felt I have done anything wrong and I would never put my son in a position of neglect- it makes me mad as last month he was getting bullied at the school which they know about and still the bullying continued but yet they are accusing me as a loving parent.
Sorry for sounding like I am moaning but I'm in shock
Whoever took the message misunderstood and passed on the wrong message. Just contact the head and explain simply as you have here. No need to be in tears its a simple misunderstanding - if the head thinks you haven't taken your child to see a doctor for a dog bit then they are probably worried!
Just clear up the misunderstand.
But they do have to pass it on. My dog snapped at dd and grazed her face-nursery filled in an incident report about it. You need to correct them that you didn't say he had been to the dr, but you had spoken to dr, who will have a record of phoning you. Please try not to worry about this and instead felt sorry for children who do need this level of monitoring from school.
Arrange a meeting with the head. It just sounds like some crossed wires somewhere. I'd be furious if someone accused me (or my dog) of such a thing too. I'm an assistant head (on maternity leave...) and I know full well how Chinese whispers work in schools. Just go in and clarify, it will all be fine. X
Think I would be issuing a warning to the school in no uncertain terms that if they are going to be making up a file on you that you will need to see the report before it is sent off given the false allegations they have already levelled at you. Also you will be considering legal advice if they send off to a 3rd party a fabricated report. they need to get their facts correct before levelling accusations
Thanks I did say that I did not take my son to the doctors only called and would have took him if needed . I did ask the head who this report goes to and what happens now ? She did say well hopefully now cleared up that will put an end to it but I don't want people to be thinking I am a bad parent
Can you ask to see any report then? Sorry for sounding abit thick but this has all come as a shock to me . Wasn't expecting this at all ! I have emailed the head mistres putting my concerns down so they know I am not happy -infact I have even threatened to take my son to a differant school especially as he has been bullied .thanks
To be honest, all that will happen most of the time is they will make a note of it in the child's file which stays in school and that's about it. We have to document everything in case something happens further down the line, but as it was clearly an accident it will probably never be looked at again. X
It's just so shocking as a parent to hear someone on a third party who hasn't even seen what happened to be thinking that a mum could neglect there son.
And what if they don't believe me now it is cleared up and they were told it was a call to the doctor not a visit -hopefully the receptionist will have put a note on my son's file to say I called and of course I would have took my son if he had needed to go
I'm sorry I have no advice, but I have reported your posts to have your son's name removed. I hope that's OK.
I Wish you were at his school lol the head just came across in such a way that she was talking to someone who does not care about there child. It just got me that when I spoke up about my son's bullying which was really bad - another child pushed my son on the floor and pinned him down whilst punching him in the chest while other kids just watched -this broke my heart and when I called and discussed my concerns they just did not really want to say much apart from it has been noted and the other child's parent has been spoken to
I am new to mum sent so I did not post anything on hear to get in trouble I did not know you do not mention any names on here o was purely an error
We're not allowed to say much. It's really annoying when you want to reassure parents that we are dealing with it, but if there are issues with the bully child's family (and there usually are) we can't say exactly what we've been doing. You could take it to the governors. If you want a head running scared that's who you go to as they are the only people that can remove the head from their post. Get on the parent governor panel of you can. Xx
Oh I know OP - I think I made the same the same mistake.
MNHQ will just be able to edit your posts to the usual abbreviation (DS for Darling Son) so you're not identifiable.
Certainly not in any trouble .
Wish I could help you with your actual problem though.
This is my first thread on here so was purely an error mentioning names .was not done on purpose . Think I must nove just having a bad day today as feel like I can't get anything right
Thanks for that
Guess I just not used to talking to other mums about parenting problems x
Thanks for calming me downwind taking the time to reply. X
I'm pretty sure all schools and nurseries have to keep a log of all injuries noticed - both those that happen on their premises but also any marks of injuries on children that might have happened elsewhere. It is part of their legal safeguarding stuff.
I know that I've had to sign entries in our nursery's safeguarding file for bumps at nursery. Also when my daughter fell off a bench one weekend, banged her forehead and grazed her nose and cheek, I explained about it when I dropped her off at nursery the next day. When I went to pick her up I was asked to sign the accident/safeguarding book when they had noted the marks and written that "mum reported accident over weekend..." I was a bit worried at first as any mention of safeguarding sets off alarm bells. We've never had any kind of social services input or anything like that in our family. When the room leader explained that it was just their policy and that they have to keep records for Ofsted I was less worried. You can always put some notes and your own explanation next to where you sign the file.
Please don't worry too much about it. I nearly cried too but that was more because I felt like they had insinuated something about my parenting. Since the awful scandals like Baby P and Victoria Climbie, schools and nurseries have really had to pull their finger out with regards to record keeping and rightly so.
Just go for a face to face chat with the head and clarify any misunderstanding about the Dr so they don't think you've tried to lie. Then sign their description of the marks they've seen - IF you agree with it and put a clear note next to your signature of your version of events clarifying that it wasn't a dog bite etc. Good luck and try not to worry x
If you spoke to the GP on the phone that'll be on the GP records - if the worst DID happen that part is easily verifiable so I wouldn't worry too much.
Wires get crossed in school particularly when you're dealing with young kids who don't give the clearest of accounts about what's gone on - I'd just pop it down in a short note about "this is what happened, I spoke to the GP on the phone who said to do this..." that will end up in his file along with anything the school has and that will be the end of it.
Everyone is so jumpy these days and terrified of missing something that ends up in one of the high profile tragedy cases that it's not a nice time to be a parent feeling like you're constantly being watched - I tend to err on the side of caution with my own kids (I'm an ex teacher) - I even emailed their nursery the other day with a note saying that DD1 had a bite shaped bruise on her arm that I know they'd be concerned about - she'd actually decided to shove her arm in her sister's mouth and ask her sister to eat her - and her little sister had kindly obliged (DD2 has one HELL of a bite on her!) - just to pre-empt any concerns that were likely to be raised. The only time I've complained was when our local children's centre were so confrontational and accusatory about a bumped head bruise that I signed their accident book with a small rant about how incriminated and alienated they'd made me feel because the staff member dealing with it seemed to think it was her chance to go all amateur detective and cross examiner on me (I don't bother going there anymore).
Email the head because it will be formally logged and on file. A phone all mightn't be.
I would email something like. Dear head, I was rather concerned to hear that the reception staff had given you the wrong information this morning. I informed reception that I had spoken to the GP surgery on the phone but they clearly misunderstood.
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