Am i going crazy?...(4 Posts)
Maybe I'm overreacting a bit but I am forever feeling like everyone is getting on at me about my son. I have the approach of if I want advise I'll ask but don't think anyone got the memo? From my sons nursery to family members... I know some people mean well but I'm a very independent person. So when certain people have tried to tell me what's even wrong with my son. For example he had bronchioloitis at 6 months old and this year has got it again and I knew exactly what it was but the nursery were telling me he has an ear infection. And so that I took him to the doctors to prove I knew what I was talking about. And they were not happy I proved them wrong. As saying that I took him to see my grandparents (a weekly ritual that I've done since day dot) and I ended up having a large argument with my grandfather who kept telling me the doctor was wrong. He also constantly picks at everything I say or do with bubs. Making out I'm a terrible mother which I know I'm not! I'm I just taking things too much to heart or is it that everyone thinks I'm thick as 2 short planks? (To put it nicely) HELP!
I remember crying to my sister about this. It wasn't they I had no idea what I was doing that upset me but that everyone else seemed so sure of all the answers. No one was even polite and English enough to express some doubt.
My only advice would be to try and be more certain when discussing things and try not to get upset by it.
You are clearly not thick or a bad mother. Repeat after me......
They all had a baby once, so their way must be the only correct way of doing things. Nothing ever changes. No research is done.
Then you can be as narrow minded as they are!
Because all babies are identical. And what worked for their kids 30-40 years ago will obviously work for yours now.
I only give one bit of advice to my new-parent friends.
"When people offer you advice, say 'thank-you, I will try it next time' or something equally bland. Then decide if you really want to take it, at your leisure."
They will never know if you don't. And you can always reply with "oh yes, we tried that a few times, it didn't really work for us."
Ex mil tried hard to convince me that moving ds around while he was asleep was a good idea. As in he was asleep next to me on her sofa, in the nice warm front room. She repeatedly suggested I took him out in to the cold garden so he woke up,somewhere different...
Ugh. Everyone is right when it comes to babies. Apparently.
Only YOU know what YOU do with your son, they don't. They're not there 24/7, are they? YOU know YOUR own son more than anyone else does.
What works for one baby might not work for another which I think is why there's so many conflicting opinions.
I just wish some people would keep their noses out unless they think that what you could do actually did work for them. If not, then I expect them to not get all arsey when they're ignored. They had/have their own kids, it's your turn now.
From the day my son was born, both my sisters and mum had something to say. My mum had 5, so I listened to her more (even if she conflicted the midwife). She talked sense when it came to parenting, but my older sister... still hasn't stopped even though she doesn't have a leg to stand on. I think she's just insecure because she has so much trouble from hers and she's a hypocrite. The most annoying was when she and my mum got out all my son's clothes because they thought "they don't fit him, why have you still got them?" - I had recently gone through his clothes and bagged the ones that didn't fit. He was an early baby (soon shot up!) so I didn't hide the fact it pissed me off whilst hanging them all back up again, like I was a dumb fuck or something!
Tell them to piss off and shut up.
If you want their advice, then tell them you will ask for their "sought after" advice.
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