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Do you put your baby down to bed awake?

(32 Posts)
MintSource Wed 18-Nov-15 12:30:51

I keep reading that this is crucial and would love to hear from those who have experience of putting their baby down to sleep while s/he is awake.

Baby Mint is running us ragged right now. He's 15 months and goes from bath/sleepsuit/milk to my arms (not rocking, just holding) and is asleep within about two minutes. Should I put him straight down after milk?

ODog Wed 18-Nov-15 12:57:20

Do what works best for you at the time. Don't worry, he won't need you to cuddle him to sleep forever.

KatyN Wed 18-Nov-15 15:20:41

I think the issue is if you baby can not get themselves to sleep out of your arms. A sleep cycle is 40 minutes (I think) so if she's not waking you up this often in the night she can clearly get herself to sleep without your arms!

If she is waking a LOT in the night maybe it is time to try letting her fall asleep on her own (although for me that meant hanging over the cot half cuddling half not for a few nights).

I LOVE cuddling them when they are asleep which is rare as my son is 4 now.. Enjoy them while you can!!

squidzin Wed 18-Nov-15 15:32:15

No, my son is almost 12mo and I have never put him into his cot awake. I used to bf to sleep, now DP or I give him a warm ff bottle to sleep after his bath.

We have always coaxed him to sleep in the (mine and DP) big bed, then carry him through to his cot.

He has never had a problem sleeping through, except when teething.

Do what works for you.

Freezingwinter Wed 18-Nov-15 15:34:58

My son is 9 months and if I put him to bed in either his cot or Moses basket he would just lie, talk and eventually cry. I bring him into our bed, lie down with him, feed him (bf) and he goes to sleep. Dh transfers him to a cot and he stays in there between 1-5 hours!! He spends the remainder of the night/morning in bed with me. I can't be bothered with anyone who tells me I should sleep train my baby! I just ask if they think I'll still have to cuddle him to sleep when he's at university grin

waitingforsomething Wed 18-Nov-15 15:43:27

I've always put mine down awake from 6weeks onwards. I have found if I don't they wake in the night for resettling as well as feeding which is really tiring. I'd rather just get up for feeding. Depends if your baby sleeps in a manageable way for you- if not then it's worth a try but if you're happy don't worry.

Rinceoir Wed 18-Nov-15 15:46:47

My DD just started putting herself to sleep last week at 18months. She's started pointing to her cot when sleepy and asking to go in.

TheHelpfulHiker Wed 18-Nov-15 16:01:40

I always fed DS to sleep and I spent so long worrying whether he'd ever be able to self settle. When he was tiny he often ended up in our bed as it was easier to BF him to sleep (after vowing I'd never co sleep!) Now he's ten months, I sit him in his cot with a small bottle of milk and leave him to it. He falls asleep and wakes 12-13 hours later. I guess I'm saying don't overthink it. If it's working for you, don't worry about it! You won't be needing to hold him to sleep when he's 18.

ButtonMoon88 Wed 18-Nov-15 16:09:47

I'm sure if you read a load of books they would say you should but I really would not worry about it at 15months!

I'm a CM and have looked after hundreds of children over the years. My DD settles herself sometimes and not others. However she isn't running us "ragged" like you said yours is.

Does your DC sleep solidly once they are off or are they up and down? Do they nap?

ButtonMoon88 Wed 18-Nov-15 16:11:28

Fully agree with helpful hiker- do not panic over something you read, no two children are the same parenting books should be burned grin

Iguessyourestuckwithme Wed 18-Nov-15 16:12:53

Yep put both down awake 4 month old from day 1 and probably a little later with 2 year old but still less than 3 months.

krisskross Wed 18-Nov-15 16:17:28

Hi, my DC are 6 and 8 years now. We always put them to bed awake, from about four months when they'd found their natural pattern and we knew they were tired. I happened to read the baby whisperer book which ( despite the horrendous california title) gave v sensible advice about putting the baby to bed awake. There's also also a version of the book for toddlers.
I'm glad I found the book because I hadn't a clue and that time and it really helped us, they've always gone to bed awake and are happy alone in their rooms. Good luck.

trilbydoll Wed 18-Nov-15 16:20:33

We trained dd at 10mo, we sat next to the cot with a hand on her chest. She has a dummy, so tbh there was very little point because she would still wake up for that! She's 2.5 now and we still stay with her to go to sleep otherwise she would mess around.

WowOoo Wed 18-Nov-15 16:30:17

I never did with mine. My sister in law tried to 'help' us do this when she came to stay but I knew I could never stick with it. She was like super nanny with her kids.

Too much crying sad so we ended up asleep in the same bed many nights at that age. No problem for us until they got far more wriggly and kept waking me!

Iguessyourestuckwithme Wed 18-Nov-15 16:39:47

What do you mean he's breaking you?

MummaGiles Wed 18-Nov-15 16:41:16

My DS (nearly 10 months) goes to bed awake and settles off to sleep pretty quickly with a dummy.

Caterina99 Wed 18-Nov-15 18:16:18

I put my 5 month DS down awake for the night and for (most) naps. He usually goes to sleep within a few min.

We started doing this after he was getting really bad wind pains from about 6 weeks and waking all night, so had to burp him lots after each feed which then woke him up, so he was going into bed sleepy but awake.

SparklyTinselTits Wed 18-Nov-15 18:20:23

My DD is 7 months, and we do bath, pjs, milk, cuddles, bed. I carry on with cuddles until she's asleep and ten put her down. But when she wakes up in the night (usually only once around 3/4am) she rolls around and chats for about 10 mins and then just puts herself back to sleep. So she's capable of self soothing, the cuddles are just a nice, calm addition to her bedtime routine smile
I think all babies learn to self settle at some point without sleep training - does your DS settle himself trough the night?? If he does, the. I don't see why you need to stop bedtime cuddles smile

CultureSucksDownWords Wed 18-Nov-15 18:25:50

Never could put my DS down awake, so never did. He fed to sleep and then I would transfer him, until he was about 11 months and just stopped feeding to sleep. He then was happy to be put to bed awake but drowsy and then slept through from that day on.

What aspect of your DSs sleep/bedtime routine is causing the problems?

Lilipot15 Wed 18-Nov-15 23:03:56

Not managed it yet with 5 month old. She cries and cries otherwise.
Toddler yes - she had a long phase of needing a hand held through the cot though.
I'd have thought that him being asleep within two mins of you holding him is good, unless you're having to do this if he wakes frequently in the night?
I have always marvelled at those who can put tiny babies down awake and they go to sleep - those babies brains must be wired very differently to mine!!

MooPointCowsOpinion Wed 18-Nov-15 23:18:44

Nope never. I don't think there's such a thing as too many cuddles is there?

Lightbulbon Thu 19-Nov-15 06:54:39

My first needed 10 mins of hand holding. The other 2 settled themselves from awake but tired. The youngest goes to sleep as soon as the light goes off.

Mimilicious013 Thu 19-Nov-15 10:14:53

I've never been able to put my dc to bed's either after feeding or cuddling them do they fall i have a dd23 she is only just learning that the cot bed is her bed.i don't mind cuddling them because they grow so fast,u will soon be missing it.i would suggest you do what is most comfortable to you.

mrsmugoo Thu 19-Nov-15 10:21:33

Yes I have put down awake since 5 months old. Before that I fed to sleep but started not letting him fall asleep on the boob and settled him in the cot with a back rub instead. I think it's much easier to teach this when tiny rather than as a toddler when they are set in their ways and strong willed.

jessplussomeonenew Thu 19-Nov-15 10:38:51

I think if you have a baby who happily goes to sleep when you put them down awake, then it's a great thing to do. But if your baby doesn't know how to go to sleep on their own (which I think is far more common!), I don't think there's much you can do to teach them to fall asleep (you can teach them that there's no point calling for you if they want help at night but that's not something I wanted to do).

I'd read the same thing about babies not being able to get back to sleep in the night if they're in a different environment to when they fell asleep, but DS started being able to resettle himself (from fully awake) in the night about 11mo while I was still bfing him to sleep at bedtime. He's now 15mo and if put in his cot awake at bedtime will quite often roll over and doze off.

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