I fear I've lost my way parenting my 2.5 yo DD. She is, of course, often delightful. But she's also 'wilful' (I hate that term), demanding, bossy and prone to shouting, a lot, whining. I've lost any sense of how to manage this 'bad' or 'negative' behaviour and I think DH and I are being inconsistent. Everyone says 'ignore the bad behaviour, praise the good' thing - but surely doesn't that mean you end up tolerating rude behaviour (e.g. her shouting or throwing things)? I don't want to be constantly saying 'don't' or reprimanding her behaviour, but neither do I want to be totally permissive and allow rudeness or, e.g., her pushing other children or shouting at me. She is also resistant about all sorts of usual toddler things (wearing a coat, getting dressed, getting undressed, brushing teeth, very picky about food, etc). She's not very good at playing on her own and demands almost constant attention. Things that don't seem to work: forcing her to do something (she'll just tantrum ad infinitum), giving her a choice of two things if neither of them is something she wants to do (e.g. 'you can wear your coat or your hoodie, which one?' She'll just reply that she doesn't want to wear either).
Other relevant info: she's very articulate/ verbal - complex sentences, wide vocab, etc. I had a baby a month ago. We moved house recently. So, a lot of unsettling change, I know, but she was like this before the baby/move. But, on my side, the stress of the move and the exhaustion of having a newborn isn't helping me on the coping front. So I must admit that I'm not as patient as I could be and have shouted a few times in the past month, something I'm not proud of
I need cast iron tips/ rules on how to help my toddler through this phase. Ideally ones that don't involve rewards/ punishments/ naughty step.
Help - before I completely lose it!
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Please help: feeling desperate about wilful, demanding toddler (plus newborn)
32 replies
CityDweller · 17/11/2015 13:51
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